My H & I did this one together. Here are our reasons (in no particular order):

1. He loves me
2. We have a commitment 'til death
3. It is God's will for us to stay together
4. I love him
5. More damage will be done in divorce
6. It will hurt others if we don't make it
7. It would mean a new church for one of us
8. Both of us would lose a friend (each other)
9. We would end up a divorcee
10. We would each likely have 2nd marriages which don't have the wisdom we've already learned & could likely end up here again.

I put this list on a sticky note & put in on my monitor so I have those reasons to see everyday. It's helps.
5.

Want2BeStrong -

What a wonderful list! I think the should be a standard guideline for us all...if it's not already. Create a list of reasons to stay together...and read it daily.

I love #8 - this is such a powerful statement...above all we are friends with our spouses...it is God's intention for our relationships...to be friends and take care of one another. Maybe that's an over simplified statement...I'm sure I'll get a 2x4 from someone reading this who thinks that calling a spouse a friend would be insane. I personally think my H is my best friend. Yes, I have other friends...but they will never know me like my H.

You would think #9 and #10 would be 'assumed' reasons but I think it's important to have them spelled out on a list. Great post!

Tiny ### threadjack ###...

heroswife...nice to see you back posting. It sounds like all your hard work and efforts have paid off...

Kudos to you and FWH!

Best wishes,
SD

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heroswife,

Thanks. It was through my anger that we did this. I kept saying "why should I stay with you?" And he would say "Because I love you". At the time (and even now), that answer had no value to me. I told him I needed more & he suggested the list.

#8 is very important to me too since we both see each other as our best friend. There is NO one else who knows me better & still loves me.

#9 & #10 are important for 2 reasons. I never wanted to EVER be divorced so see divorcee makes an impact on me. As for 2nd marriages, I see it like starting over at the beginning of this marriage where you don't know how or where it might lead. You don't know everything about each other or how the other person will react to stress, etc. so I could likely be here again saying H #2 cheated on me. I don't want to go through that again so I KNOW my chances of NOT going through it again are better here.

#7 is valuable because we both LOVE our church & the people there. I think it would be very hard for one of us to move on & try to find another church we like this much.

Anngellica -

Have you thought of making your own list. Start here and we can all help you come up with ideas to keep fighting for your marriage.

Want2Be and Shattered Dreams..I'll start another thread for us to continue our discussions...Hopefully Anngellica will join us as well.

Shattered -It's good to hear from you...I see lots of familiar faces around..I'm glad to know I'm still amongst friends.