Hi Jan,
welcome to MB. Why don't you get your own name and start your own thread?


I agree with beliver, he needs to send a very basic no contact note.

Along with His Needs Her Needs, you should also read surviving an affair. It deals with follow-up a lot more.

Please post often and read the resources on the site.

If you have specific questions, please post them.

Try to set aside some time every day for just the two of you. That goes a long way toward allowing you to meet one another's needs. It was good you had a weekend together. Try to make time every day. For me, it was changing when I go to bed and when I get up to allow me to be with him more.

Blessings to you and your family

Hi everyone,

My wife has her own login now and will be talking to you. I am pretty sure nobody can see my email adress on this site but site admins and I am pretty sure that they wouldn't send me emails regarding my life. Well i just received an email and just waiting to call my wife and tell her as well. I realize that when i sent my no contact letter i was confused, and i just acted rashly because i wanted to end it very quickly. My wife and I will be working on a no contact letter together and then get on with our lives. Getting back to what i started to say, i received a letter from a person i have never know but of course from a hotmail account which ironically is the same email account type that the OW has as well. It was explaining how all you people basically don't know jack and don't have any qualifications. Well i totally disregarded that letter, which i didn't know what it was from because it was addressed website discussion. Anyways I will be blocking all hotmail accounts from emailing me now not just the OW. That should eliminate that contact source. Here is the thing that i found real funny and I am totally unaware of this fatal attraction sorta tactics. I did an ip address search and traceing and found the two emails, OW and the NW (new woman for lack of better term) are of the same ip address area. The same town :-) so this i found interesting and reading through the posts I know now this is common, thats why i need to get out the no contact letter ASAP. I don't care that some of you don't have degrees, liscences, etc.. you know the part i care about, is that you all care, you all have lived through something like this or worse. Life experience outways education by far. Anyways i just thought i would touch base with you all. Just a question, should i start another thread, a new membership? Just so the OW has no way of tracking me at all? I enjoy my life with my wife again, i want to work at this relationship, i want to be in contact with her at all times, we are going to make an effort to be there for one and another so this will never happen again. I enjoy my wifes company, i love the time we spend together, i want this to be for the rest of our lives. I want my kids to grow up knowing that life together in a family is most important.

Joe

I guess I misunderstood you before. Did you actually send that email to the OW with the link to Marriage Builders. If you did, then it may be too late and changing your loggin may not be of any help. I suppose you could try.

I would hope she gives up and goes away. You should probably expose to the OW's husband as you send the no contact letter. You can apologized to him and tell him you want no further contact with his wife, that you love you wife and are trying to repair your marriage.

The OW's behavior is typical.

If you can afford it, you may try some phone counselling with Steve Harley or Jennifer Chalmers through Marriage Builders. My husband and I went to the Marriage Builders weekend and worked through the followup materials at home. They sell a home study course to work on together with your wife.

Hi Joe - I'll look for Jan and write to her.

I can't describe how much reading your posts makes me feel that what we try to do here is really worth while.

Yep, we're rank amateurs! No denying that! But our "qualifications" are that we have lived challenges that most "qualified" people haven't.

That said, you will read conflicting opinions here for sure. This should be received as evidence of all of us having different experiences, different outlooks on life, and different perspectives of situations. Embrace these differences!

Joe - Can you cancel your email account and get a new one? One that the OW would never know about? This would be the best course of action to prevent her from emailing you. And I agree with everyone else that there needs to be a new NC letter.

You can try to change your loggin on here, but if the OW is already reading, she will find you. Trust me, I know! She will be reading here as it's obvious it was the OW who emailed you. I don't know what else to suggest regarding that.

Hi Joe--

Great to know that you've shared this site with your wife and are taking steps towards a better marriage.

Change your log in. Jan has to change hers too. Start a new thread.

K ill get her to get a brand new name and I will to. I will also start talking differently so the OW has little hint on who we are.

And WAT, like i said, education is not worth as much as life experiences. Sometimes the road of life is more experience that can be gathered by a book of any magnitude. The "road of hard knocks" as i call it can be full of potholes, and bumps, but I'm sure my W and I will get down that road and it will lead to our paradise. Oh I am sure we will have minor bumps and ripples along the way, but never will i have this happen again. My W and I will be writing a new NC letter tonight, and if need be we will ensure that the OWH (not sure if that is write acro) knows about this so as to have this stop.