Was hoping I'd wake up feeling more "clarity" on all the
things that happened and were said last night, but I've
just gotten up and in reality just feel very tired from
the short night's sleep, and things are still "clear as
mud".
Only thing that makes a little more sense to me this
morning is feeling real doubt about WH's statement that
OW is going to move out of his house and that's going to
be the "end" with her.
Part of the reason I think that is the calls from WH's
house last night that I'm sure were again OW checking up
on WH. If they were breaking up, why would she continue
to do that ???
Only thing that puzzles me though is why he would tell me this since it's not like he's trying to get back with me- in fact, he's moving further and further away from me and
M, and already has his "wants to be alone and on his own"
story going, so why another "story" ????

WH seems to be mad, and I don't know where the anger is coming from- I haven't done a thing that should make him mad towards me at all. Also, his comment about "I wish you
and OW would both leave me alone" sounds like he considers
me to be pressuring, pushing, or "bugging" him, as as you
know I don't call, didn't even take his calls for the past
week, and only had sent one brief email regarding finances
so how am I doing that ??

You can bet I'm going to continue to remain out of contact
until the loan closing on Wed. and will have the PBL ready
to give him there, in person. (Mimi pointed out that OW
might get it if I mail it, which was a good thought)

I have to get ready for work now, but will try to check back
in later. I have errands to run, and things to keep me busy
but it's going to be another hard, long day.

Thanks not-so-you-neak,
I'd like to think things aren't all "good" in affair-land,
but if not, don't understand why the sudden big push again
for selling our house and extending the D paperwork so he
can "get on with his life "???? I feel scared that it is
the OW pushing him, or using it as "leverage" (perhaps she
is threatening to move out if he doesn't get that divorce!)
That reminds me of WH's behavior back when OW first moved
here and he was acting so eratically (although I didn't
know the PA had just begun at the time).

Slammed

You won't be able to know until he tells you, just why he is doing the weird stuff he is, and whose idea it was. It won't matter anyway.

Don't worry about the pressuring thing. I heard it too, word for word. You offend him by breathing. He is angry because the sun comes up. There is no logic to it, so don't try to understand it.

The days of that affair are numbered. Don't know just how many are left, but it's going down. Remember, I've got my hat riding on it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hadn't thought of it that way before, but yes, I guess my
just being in the same world could probably annoy WH, as
"real life" has a way of interfering with fantasy-affair-
land !

I doubt he knows that OW was calling our house to "check
up" on him again (unless she threw a big fit and questioned
who, why, etc) and since I'm not going to be talking to him
I won't be saying anything about it, but I'd bet it did
cause some LB's again- of course, with his foggy logic
he can probably find a way to make it MY fault that SHE
called our house.

So strange that WH seems to have a fairly predictable
"pattern" that he keeps following- although when he was
acting like this before (pushing to sell house, get D, "move
on") it was when OW had first moved here and they were "hot
and heavy" in a new relationship. Now that they have gone
through the cycle of "break up/make up" several times, I'd
think the "fun and excitement" of that would have worn off.
I just keep hoping that OW being at the house with WH is
really bringing on the big LB's, and can think of several
things that probably would contribute to that, like WH
being very neat (and he says OW is sloppy), OW having her
two big dogs there (in WH's newly renovated house) and OW
snooping on his calls (and undoubtedly all his things in
the house).- I hope there's even more !

After saying that, I wonder if there is big tension and OW
may be threatening to leave him and this is the reason for
his "feeling pressured", talking about putting the house up
for sale, complaining about paying expenses/bills he'd been
paying all along, and talking about D, because he is feeling
threatened and desperate to keep his "fix". ?

Your'e right, not-so-you-neak, no way to know, and doesn't
really matter in the overall "scheme" of things, just feel
anxious and scared about what is going to happen with this
D paperwork.

Should I change my plans or just keep on track with the PBL letter this week ? Seems like going "no contact" might be
just what he wants now- will that make it less effective ?
Last night, when he said he "wants to be left alone", my
response was "that's not a problem, just remember you're
the one who asked for it" so I hope it'll be a case of
him later realizing "be careful what you ask for". !
Same goes with his having OW at his house - he says and
acts like it's a big "imposition" and he doesn't want
her there, but she didn't break in, I'm sure, so he does
control that, isn't the "victim" like he plays so well.

I will post my PBL tonight or tomorrow so I'll have a few
days to get feedback before it goes to WH.
Slammed

Hi Slammed,

Sorry I haven't written to you in a couple of days. My H had to have surgery to remove his gallbladder yesterday. I am helping him recover here at home.

I am so sorry that your WH is putting you through this. He sounds like he is miserable. Sounds like the A is having problems, which is great. Your H seems like he doesn't like upseting you, so it leads me to believe that he still cares about you.

He is lost right now and does not know what to do. I believe him when he says he want's it all to just end. That's what people say when they are at the end of their rope, can't make decisions and have no where to go. It was a mistake to go to his IC session. He seems to want you there because it gives him courage to tell you these things with IC there. And, when he called, you jumped. You need to stop doing that.

If you don't want a D, then you have to go dark right now, before H files. The reason I say that is you need to give him a taste of what it will be like if he does divorce you. He won't like it and he will want to talk to you. Don't be around, you do not have to give him the letter right now. Just wait and be unvailable. He won't like it and may re-think signing D papers

He is asking to be left alone, and you know OW won't leave him alone, so do it. Leave him alone for now. He will get tired of OW in his face and will start wondering about you. Wondering why you aren't pursuing him anymore, why you don't care anymore, why you aren't there for him. He will start to realize what you do for him and how you care and love him even with all his faults. It's not over yet, so play this right Slammed. Go DARK...

Beauty~
Glad to hear from you. I'm sorry about your H's surgery
and hope he will have a speedy recovery.

Thanks for your thoughts- you are very perceptive and
helpful to me and I appreciate you and others who give
me your thoughts, suggestions, and help me think more
clearly.
I don't know why I thought going to the IC would help in any way so I am certainly kicking myself now over doing that. I do think the IC did some good back when WH first
started going and was truly wanting to make some progress
on some issues, but since the A resumed it's just seemed
like he's "snowed" the IC with a convincing "act", and
used the session to spout his grievances with me, our M,
and make excuses and justifications for A.
Maybe you're right and it does give him more courage to
say things there, or maybe he's hoping the IC will agree
with him and say we're too incompatible, the M can't be
fixed, or we should get divorced and then he'll feel "off
the hook". ?
I am really frustrated with the IC too.
I was very impressed with her at first and thought she was
quite perceptive, challenged WH, and put him "on the spot"
when she needed too, but since the A has been "the issue",
she has made me feel almost like she doesn't know what to
do, and I've felt like WH has been able to "steer" the
session right down the path he wanted to take.

It's really disappointing because I had so wanted H to get
help and do therapy, thinking he could get help with his
issues, which would ultimately help "us", and now it seems
like it's possibly made things worse. (??) I told IC last
night that I wouldn't be back because I felt WH was using
the hour to "enable" his A, and I was leaving feeling
battered, and I guess she can think what she wants.
I wish now that I had never gone with WH, but thought it
was helpful at the time, and gave him moral support so he
would stick with it.
Don't know if he'll continue by himself but hopefully the
IC will get him back on to working on his issues since I
will be removed from his "game". I think our insurance only
allows a certain number of visits, and he may be getting
close to that. Since this IC didn't seem to be helping the
situation, maybe it'd be a good thing if he quits seeing
her and just sticks with his psychiatrist. (??)
Guess I can give him the insurance info so he will know
that.

WH is pretty predictable which makes it fairly easy for me
to stay dark, and that's what I plan to do. WH asked for me
to "leave him alone" (although I already was) so he'll just
be getting what he wanted and shouldn't be able to find
anything to be mad about with that. I really do want him
to have a taste of how things would be if we divorce, and
really don't think he has a clue, so far.
If things are going poorly in affair-land, I sure don't want to disturb that either ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
I had another "Private caller" on the Caller ID today when
I got home from work, and bet it was OW calling to see if
I was home (maybe WH was gone and she thought we might be
together...) so I'm sure there are some LB's going on-

WH certainly doesn't seem happy, and I'm sure you're right-
he would just like to disappear and not have to deal with
the mess he's made.

Has it calmed down with your OW ?
Slammed

We have not heard from the OW or the police about any more false reports. We are hoping that since H has been off work due to surgery that she would claim he did something. Wouldn't that be funny if she accused H of doing something while he was on the operating table? Ha Ha <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />...We'll see. I am just so glad that she hasn't bugged us lately. Maybe she has given up.

About H getting a taste of what it would be like if he divorced you, I didn't mean it that way. I just meant, that he would get a taste of being all alone with no one holding his hand or to talk to. No one that truly loves him because he has pushed you away. Glad that you are going to stay dark. I would change your phone number. The OW won't be able to call you and she will LB all over H because she won't be able to see where he is. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Your H will not like it either (in a good way) But he can still email you if there is something important that you need to know. I just think he does not need to hear your voice while you are dark, because that just gives him his small fix. Let him jones for awhile. Just a thought

So sorry this happened, Slammed. However, this is not surprising since the IC was a "Let's Beat Slammed Session".



Remember my previous post to you? ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

You have the knowledge about this, Slammed. He is a cake-eater. He wants both of you.



THE USUAL. TIME FOR PLAN B.



Stop this, Lonnie. They are not breaking up yet. He is having an A. He is a cake-eating WH. No different than most others like him, IMO.

I say, STOP WONDERING ABOUT what he is doing or the nature of his R with the OW. Focus on yourself and what you need to do.

Slammed, thanks for visiting my thread. I did not have a good weekend because of my job situation, but what can I do - I just have to do whatever it takes.

I'm sorry the IC turned out to be not helpful. I think you are right, as long as your WH was feeling low and sorry for what he had done, it was easier for her to say whatever she wanted to say and let both of you review our M issues. But now WH is so convinced that he wants out, she probably does not know what to do, what to say.

Remove yourself from these kinds of nonsense drama - once you start enjoying your life without WH, he will have to wonder if he has lost something very important and stable in his life.

Milk

slammed

at one point, some people here suggested that maybe my H and OW had broken up because i hyad no proof otherwise.

they thought that my H had broken things off with OW and still didn't want to be with me.....

well...the reality is that my H and ow are still together and as long as the affair continues there is no hope for recovery

and you know my H's been at this crap much longer than yours....also, your H is clearly cake eating (not the case for me and i still have some hope left)

he is still very much a part of your life and has yet to find out what he will lose if he loses you......plan B slammed......it's time!

Just wanted to give a quick update~

Haven't had a chance to post or keep up with the threads I
normally read, as I've been working very long days.
My co-worker was to be out a couple days after minor surgery
but it ended up being more complicated so she's now been out
two weeks, and will be gone next week too, so it's left me
handling her clients as well as my own, and taking all the
"walk in" and phone business- whew !!

After working half-day and running some errands last Sat.
(last time I posted), I had a really tough evening.
Didn't find any friends available to do anything, so sat
around watching TV and getting really bored, then fell into
a very "down" mood.
Thought about the way that WH has so easily "moved on" into
a whole different life and world, and doesn't seem to have
any remembrance or care about the life we used to have.
Thought about him living on the opposite side of town, in
the new house, with all new things, and him not even wanting
to take much of anything that was part of our life or had
belonged to US.
Since he didn't take any of our linens, bedding, dishes,
or anything else like that, I assume he just didn't want
any "reminders" and must have gotten all new- just like he
replaced me with OW and our dog with hers- <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Thought of how much I felt "left out" of the "loop"- not
knowing much of his life, job, or family anymore, and him
knowing little about my life now too.
Mostly, just felt very hopeless that anything is ever going
to change that will cause WH to break it off with OW and
want any of the old life back. Seems like he's done such a
good job convincing himself he "wants to be alone and on his
own", that our M was all negative, that we never had fun or
did anything special, and that I was "boring and bland" and
didn't "challenge him" enough, that he has no incentive to
want to come back-
Has anyone else felt "isolated", like the world is going on
all around you, but you are just "sitting still" ??

Got tired of "moping", so I did make myself get off my butt,
put on a funny movie, and do some housework, so I'd at least
feel like I got something done and didn't waste the whole
night. Sun. was better, as I got lots done around the house,
did some yardwork, met my parents for lunch, and a had a
good long soak in the tub.
WH didn't make any attempt to contact, which made me feel
a little bad (although I was going to remain dark).

Monday, I saw that WH had tried to call a couple times but
he didn't leave any messages. Later he called again,several
times in a row, and also called my cell while I was at work which is very unlike him, so I finally picked up.
He sounded upset, rushed, annoyed (not at me) and said he
was having to head back to his parents house (out of state)
because his Mom had called and his Dad was back in the
hospital and not doing very well.
Wasn't surprised to hear, as his Dad is in poor general
health (has been totally sedentary for years), has chronic
lung problems, diabetes, and more recently has developed a
problem with blood clots so has been in and out of the
hospital numerous times since last summer. Back in Feb., he
was in critial condition for several days, but was slowly
improving, and home, then has been back in and out of the
hospital again lately-
I was surprised that WH was going home, as he is not very
close to his Dad or family, and doesn't get very involved
with them.
We didn't talk long, as WH had quickly packed, called his
boss, and was heading out. He flew, as didn't want to take
the extra time off work to drive (Dad's in a hospital in Omaha, about 11 hours from here) and also, as you know, he has a suspended license due to the DUI !
I didn't say too much- just that I was sorry about his Dad
and sent my love to his family. He said he probably would
be gone all week depending on how things went, asked if
I could please call to reschedule our land closing and
his IC, and then really surprised me by saying "love you"
as we hung up ! I didn't even think about it until we hung
up, and then I was really stunned-

Since then, I did call to postpone the closing, and left
a message for his IC that he was out of town. He left a
message last night saying his Dad was "slightly" improved,
but apparently still serious, and that he would keep me
posted.
Didn't ask, and he didn't say anything about it, but I don't
think WH would have had OW go with him-

Feel bad, since normally I would have gone with WH in such
a case (although with work as it is now, I probably wouldn't
have been able to go) and not going just makes me feel more
"left out" of his life and family, but that's how it is...

Although all this certainly did get my emotions up, I guess
nothing has really changed. The land sale "closing" has been
postponed to next Friday, so could still give WH the PBL
then.

I feel uncomfortable thinking about it, but do wonder what
I should do if FIL should pass away. I assume WH would want
me to come to help/be there for funeral- should I go ?

Slammed

I think you should go visit your second home you bought with your husband..and soak in your hot-tub...

but hey ...that's the kind of girl i am...

Hey Ark, can she *oops* forget her undies on the floor, too? Pretty please?

Ark and not-so-you-neak - I like the way you think <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Now that the OW is "temporarily" (WH's words) staying at the
other house with WH, the hot tub would have to be drained
and disinfected of her "cooties" before I'd get in it !

Had my IC last night and it went well.
I mentioned to her about WH saying OW was staying at his
house "temporarily" while in the process of moving, and later adding that he didn't want her to be there. I thought
both were just the usual excuses and lies, but IC brought
up the interesting point that WH also may really have not
wanted her there, but lacked the "guts" to say no since she
seems to control him like a puppet.
IC agreed that it could be a good thing, since it might
bring some of "real life" into the affair-fantasyland when
OW's dogs might tear up the new carpet or scratch the floor,
OW might be messy when WH is very neat, and either might
even have morning breath one day. So, my consolation at her
being there is that I hope they are really LBing each other.

Also, forgot to add that WH told me he had talked to his
boss about the time off he has to have to do his "community
service" sentence for the DUI. (Has to work Mon- Fri from
8a-5pm doing whatever community service they have for him
for 45 days). Apparently his boss was okay with it, will let him have the time off and continue to pay him, as long as he keeps the customers happy and money coming in. This
will mean he will have to do a lot of work at night and on
the weekends- which, combined with the extra two hours a day
of driving to get there, is sure to not be very "fun" for
OW. (That was what she wanted from WH, remember) So, another
LB ! Said to WH that I was sure he felt a lot of relief in
getting this legal stuff taken care of and he said "yes",
but that he also got a notice from the DMV that they are
suspending his license for a YEAR, so now has to figure out
how he's going to get around, including how to get up to
the location where he has to do the community service.....

Slammed

Well, you know what they say about that Brooklyn Bridge right?

Slammed, all of your posts always seem to be about your WH and what he is doing and of the other woman being some woman who somehow is able to make your WH do all of these things against his will (even the thread is entitled after this).

What about YOU? What about your life?, your dreams, your goals....Are all of these things based on whether your WH comes back and/or your OW lets him go?

LM

Slammed, I don't know if you came across this thread from Star*Fish, but I loved it and wanted you to see it:

Thanks, LM-
I do feel like WH has allowed himself to be controlled by
a OW who, in my dealings with and knowledge of, is a very
dominating and manipulative person, which is SO unlike my
H.
This has really surprised me and, to be truthful, caused
me to lose some respect for him because I used to really
think of him as my "rock", and a person who was courageous,
disciplined and strong,and now he seems like such a "wimp" !

I realize, however, that WH took the actions and made the
decision to get involved with OW and has to live with the
consequences now. If he didn't want her at his house, he
should have said "NO", and if he wants to break it off, he
is going to have to find the courage and do it, and deal
with the repercussions and that's HIS problem.

For myself, my life is going on pretty much just like it was
before we were married, and will continue on the same way
if the marriage ends. I waited a long time to get married
so have been on my own and know that I can handle being
alone- it was just so nice to be with someone I really
loved for the "journey", and that's what I guess I really
miss. The only dream I had that is now past is hoping that
we would have had one child, but with some health issues
involved and my age, this is a dream I've given up on and
am working on accepting-

Beauty- I did see this post, but it's a great thing to read
periodically, just for encouragement and a "boost"- thanks.

I've not felt so down the rest of the week, partly because
I've been so busy at work and exhausted at night so haven't
really had time to dwell on things.
I do feel that we still have so much potential and could really make changes that would bring about a wonderful, satisfying marriage for us both, especially if WH's bipolar is more "under control" now that's he's on the right meds and treatment (hopfully !), but realize there's nothing I
can do to get there unless WH ends the A and is willing to
do the work.
It's seemed like we have needed a real change of "dynamics"
for a long time, and although I have understood the concept
and basis of that, it's much harder to figure out how to
actually do it- that's something I was working on with IC
before WH moved out (the first time) and the A was on-

Haven't heard anything further about FIL's condition.

Slammed

Just a quick minute to "check in"-
I haven't heard anything from WH since early last week, when
he called to say he was going home due to FIL's illness, and
then left a message a day later to say his Dad was slightly
improved but still in serious condition, so don't know if he
is still there, or has come back home.
I assume his Dad is either improving or still the same, as
I'm sure WH would have contacted me if he had died.
Since I've not heard anything, I haven't rescheduled our
land closing, and don't know if WH has called his IC to
make any arrangements- should I try to call him, or just
leave it be ?

My week was very busy, and my moods mixed.
In the tough moments, I feel very sad and frustrated over
the continuing A and feeling so powerless to do anything to
change it.
Feel like WH has "replaced" each component of our life with all "new" and doesn't seem remember or care about the things
we enjoyed, valued, or planned.
Feel like WH has withdrawn more the longer he's been out of
our house - he doesn't come to see the dog anymore and has
not been trying to call or get together with me since OW
moved into his house. I also wonder, at times, what the
true situation is with her being there and what WH meant
by saying when she moved out it would be "over".?
I believe she is still at WH's house- I've gotten several
"Private caller" calls on my ID at home in the past week,
which I think may be her-

I've not been able to talk to one of my good friends who
gives me great support, as her Father is very ill and she's
super busy with that situation.

At good moments, I feel a little stronger and more confident
because of organizing some things at home and some other
tasks I've completed. I've done a little better on trying
to get more sleep, eat better, taking the dog for a walk.
Felt like I was really doing a good job at work, even though
so busy, and that at least I'd have my sales up-
Then was very disappointed Friday to get a visit from our Director of Sales and to be put on a "warning", meaning I will likely lose my job if I don't get my sales up in the next 2-3 mos. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

To give a little background, I have worked in the travel
industry for over 20 years, and for 18 of it worked at the
same company and location, where I had worked up from a PT
"Jr Agent", to being the Manager of five locations on a
Govt. contract. Two years ago, our contract ran out, so I
had to look for something new- and found another job, in
the same career field, but as most travel jobs now are,
it's commission-based. Never had worked commission sales
before, so had no idea if it would be difficult or how
much money I'd make, but thought I'd give it a "shot" and
have tried very hard to build business, get repeat clients,
and provide great service. I've known my sales were below
the expected level, but thought the past couple of months
had pulled me up enough- but, from the figures I got Friday
I am in quite a "defecit" and will have to have some really
big months to get up high enough to survive. It's very
frustrating as I work very hard, long hours, and feel like
I often go "above and beyond" for customers, plus have
received high ratings on phone monitoring and client
surveys, but all it comes down to for the company is the
money.

Now, besides worrying about the situation with WH, I have
to worry about losing my job. I was already trying to think
of something I could do to make more money, but with a
limited "skill set", it's hard to think of a "cross-over"
I could make without lots of school or training.
Also have to worry about how I will afford things if we do
D because with a new job, or low income it'd be hard to
qualify for a loan, and won't be able to count on WH's
support, insurance, etc..
Seems like when it rains, it pours..
Slammed-

Slammed!
I have been working in travel for 20 years too!

A couple of thoughts come to my mind.
First - if you are working on commission, this company should not be hassling you over your sales. That’s crazy. If your sales are low, then your income is low, and you all ready have enough to worry about without the company pointing it out to you. Have you talked to any other agencies in your area? Perhaps you could find a better fit.

Also - I recently changed jobs, and work for a company that specializes in meetings and incentives. You may want to look into becoming a certified meeting planner. We do regular travel here as well, but it is the meetings and incentive side that is booming. Some agencies like to "dabble" in groups, but we specialize, and most of our staff have their certified meeting planner status. I also know of several people who work for large companies as an on-site meeting planner. Companies like Nike, Addidas, and software companies. Basically large companies that do lots of meetings, conventions, that sort of thing. This might be a way for you to use your travel skills, and yet branch out into a corporation with better benefits, and more stability.

Slammed,

I've been so busy with my job situation, and haven't had much chance to check in. I will catch up with your updates later.

Hope you are doing well. Be strong,

{{{Slammed}}}

Milk

Womanoffaith5,
Great to hear from someone else working in travel- I know
we are a "dying breed" !
Thanks for the ideas- I have put out some "feelers" and am trying to see what I can find out.
Unfortunately, the 9-11 situation and internet travel have
really hurt our town as far as agencies, and many of the
smaller ones went out of business. I am with a large, well-
known company and thought that would be better because they
at least had longevity, a big clientele and some benefits,
but like all the others I checked, they are commission based
and have a minimum production requirement I have to meet.

After college I started out working for an airline, then
worked for 18 years doing travel for the Govt. (basically
like corporate) so never had worked commission before, and had no idea if it would be difficult to meet this level, or how much I could make, and it's ended up being low pay, and very tough to hit this production level. Business has been seasonal, with some great months last summer, slow winter, and good months lately, but my "average" was not high enough to "tide me over" which is why I'm now below the required amount despite a huge month in April and good month so far in May.
There used to be some "on sites" here, but most of those
companies have closed or down-sized considerably and no
longer have agents in-house. Most of the govt contracts
are now being awarded to "small business" which has resulted
in out of state companies handling the operations, and they
have had no benefits, and only short term job security, which is what I wanted to get out of (do miss the salary,
federal holidays off, and no weekend though !)

Milk- Thanks for your note and encouragement. Will post on
your thread as well. I'm having a job situation as well.

General update-
WH finally called Tues. night to let me know he was back
in town. Said his Dad was slightly better and at least is
"stable", but will be in the hospital for awhile.

Our conversation was fairly short- WH said he had tried
to get back as soon as he could since he has a lot to do to
get things in order at his office before he starts his 45
day "community service" project (sentence for his DUI), and
that he was feeling relief at having the court hearing over
with and making arrangements with his boss to be gone.
However, he still has the dilemna of what to do as far as
transportation, since his license is being suspended for a
year. (guess OW will just have to be your driver, huh ?)
I told him I had called to cancel his last IC appt. and
the land sale closing since I didn't know when he'd be back
and he said he'd take care of rescheduling both-
Also told him his D13 has left a message a couple of times,
asking he call her so they can make plans for her to visit.
To that he said "he didn't have any way to do that, since
he can't drive up there" (she's about 4 hrs away in another
state), but felt bad he hadn't seen her for a long time.

WH said he was just about out of his AD medication so would
need to stop by the house to get more, asked about our dog
(as usual), and asked me about work, so I told him about my
job situation (which made me get upset)and he was nice about
it. Asked if he still had his "houseguest" (OW) and he said
"Yes, but not for much longer", and again said once she was
out of the house it was "over". He's said this a couple of
times now and I don't know that it means anything, but
wonder why this new "thing" ??
I don't know enough of what's going on his life anymore to
have any idea of the situation with OW, but have no reason
to believe they are on the verge of breakup, and her moving
out certainly wouldn't mean the A was over- they could just
go back to "dating" as they have been for many months now.
Also don't know what the point would be of telling me it's
going to be "over", since we are not talking reconciliation
or even close- unless it's just another ploy to try to act
like he just wants to be "alone" and me knowing she was at
his house "blew" that "story" ????

Since then, no attempted calls from WH, and I'm still just
"leaving him alone" (what he said he wanted). I still get
some calls on the Caller ID that say "Private Caller"
(which I think means the caller is blocking their number)
and I have suspected these are OW, but don't really know.

With work still very busy, likely loss of my job looming,
keeping up with the house, dog, and life in general, I've
been too busy to think about it alot, but am feeling like
there's little hope of anything changing and am getting
very discouraged-
Slammed