Very tired and very stressed today-

Got home from my music group rehearsal last night and WH
had put the copies of his notarized financial disclosure
and the settlement statement paperwork in the house.
He was at least "true to his word" about waiting a week
past the "deadline" in order to give me a little more time
on his health insurance, but knowing that he is going to
file them today and the D would be final in 2-3 weeks has
me feeling utterly hopeless and devastated.

I know I was never perfect in either our marriage or during
the affair, but I tried so hard, and just can't fathom that
H I knew has chosen to stick with the OW and an affair that
began under totally false pretenses on the internet over our
12 years together, a truly happy marriage and good life.

I believed that we had everything going for us, and could
certainly have turned things around to recover and have a
fresh new start but he's apparently decided he's "happy"
living alone with his fancy house, having all his fancy
possessions and seeing the OW as he pleases.

I guess making the choice to lose everything of value that
he ever had for OW is his option, but it's so unfair that it's cost me everything too. I'm the one who has lost my best friend, partner, and lover, my ILs and SD whom I really
cared about, my lifestyle and financial security, and now
my home too. I've prayed over and over, every day for over
a year that the affair would come to a permanent, complete
end and that WH would come out of the fog, back to reality,
and back to our life, but to no avail and I'm having a hard
time understanding that...

What's laughable is that last week when I saw WH he told me
he "wasn't with OW anymore", and that "she had never had
anything to do with this, it was just that he was unhappy,
didn't want to be married, and wanted to be on his own".
(same old speel he's used since the A began).

I can't imagine that WH would push forward with the D if
they really were "broken up", unless it's just another of
the temporary "break ups" they seem to have every 3-4 mths
where OW plays "hard to get", puts out conditions and/or an
ultimatum and WH plays right into it, being "Mr. Charming",
making promises, calling, and "wooing" OW until they get
back together again in a few weeks-
I'd have to think he must be awfully sure he is still going
to be with OW or that he'd be holding off on D , OR, that
they aren't broken up at all and he's just saying that, but
what would be the point in doing that ?

If they truly did actually break up for good and he still
is pursuing D and not interested in me or us again, then
I guess I'd feel worse than I already do ! (if that's even
possible).

Guess I should feel a tiny bit of satisfaction in that WH
was fair, didn't try to "reneg" on things we'd agreed upon,
and was actually even generous in the settlement as far as
division of assets. Whether this was because he has some
tiny bit of feelings left, or was simply to alleviate his
guilt or make him feel "not the bad guy", no way to know !

I will receive the entire proceeds from the sale of this
house, keep the car (which is paid off), keep all items
remaining in the house (other than the personal items of
his that are still here), receive half the amount in the
joint bank accounts and all the money in my own accounts,
keep all of my 401K accounts, and keep the dog <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

WH will keep and be 100pct responsible for "his" house and
all it's related expenses, his vehicle, his boat, all his
credit card debt, and will receive half the money in the
joint bank accounts. He will also continue to pay toward
the house and utilities until the house is sold..
Saw from his financials that his income is really high with
his commission averaged in, but so were his debts and bills!

Other than the tremendous hurt and stress of dealing with
this, I'm very frustrated with my job right now as after
getting the computer and phone equipment all set up and
running fine, there is now a problem with the phone setup
and I've been off the phones for several days, just doing
some misc. things. Makes the days really slow, and hard to
believe they can't get it figured out so I can be back up
and able to work-

Another added stress is the upcoming surgery in just two weeks. I got the paperwork from the Dr. office and surgical center this week with all the pre-op /post-op instructions
and appointments, and it also included a slip to take to a
lab to get bloodwork done. As I've said before, I'm very
needle-phobic ! I've never had my blood drawn, so just the
thought of it makes me cold and clammy ! Didn't expect it
since I had out-patient surgery last year but was never
asked to do labwork. Now besides the dentist next week,
I'll also have to do that, and have the OB/GYN the next
week, since I am trying to get all the medical stuff done
while still on Wh's insurance.

Finally, having the house for sale is stressful too. Have
not yet had any showings, but the realtor did bring over
the fliers to put in the box outside and a nice book with
photos and details to have in the house when someone comes.
I decorated lightly for Christmas and think it looks very
nice, but am quickly finding it's a lot of effort to keep
it all neat and "ready" to show on short notice. Haven't
looked at new options very intensely yet since I've had so
much else to deal with and figure it'll take some time to
sell, but am having a friend who does mortgage figure out
what I can qualify for and afford so I know what price to
look at. So far, the smaller houses and townhouses I've
seen in what I'd guess is my price range are pretty poor-

Will be getting a haircut after work, then go straight to
a dress rehearsal tonight for two concerts I'll sing in
tomorrow- so it'll be a busy day and weekend. I also need
to get my cards and Christmas shopping going, as I'd like
to have that all done before the surgery.

Can't believe there is so much to do and deal with, now all
left to me, alone. Just another reminder that WH left me and
is gone when I needed him most. Prayers please...

Slammed

ME- BS, 43 WH- 39, Bipolar, has OCD
No kids (WH has D14, 11)
8/05- WH says "unhappy" and wants D, moves out
10/18/05- DDay when OW calls telling me all about affair
which began on internet. Found out WH moved in with her
the day she moved here from another state. WH is furious
I talked to her and files for D next day. They have first
of many "breakups" and WH moves to rented room at club, but
they are back together within 2 wks. I'm in Plan A.
12/25/05- WH calls in middle of night after DUI arrest on
way home from gambling w/OW. Depression and anxiety worse
I've ever seen in following days- WH asks for help, gets Dr
and is diagnosed bipolar, put on meds. WH aplogizes for A,
says its over, moves home, commits to recovery. OW keeps
calling, harasses me, sends WH's notes/cards and photos to
me. NC never happens, A resumes within 2 months.
3/06- WH moves out to "be on his own"
5/06- I go to Plan B
8/06- WH files for D again (original filing expired)

{{{Slammed}}}

I will be praying for you. I know how you feel. Mine was always gone when I needed him the most. Your and my WHs are not capable of 'giving', whether it's temporary or permanently, but we can't really rely on people like that. You have your family and friends who will be there for you no matter what.

I am praying that your surgery will go well too. I know it will. Try to relax.

Milk

Thanks, Milk.
Glad you enjoyed your trip (I love London !) and hope your
vacation will be warm and fun too.

I know you are in the same boat too and really understand.
You seen to be doing very well. I felt like I was for awhile
but now that time has run out and there's nothing I can do
to prevent WH from filing the final papers I just feel so
drained, exhausted, hopeless and destroyed, like the whole
world is going on without me and there's nothing to ever
look forward to or enjoy again.

I guess I really was still holding out hope that something
would change or happen to prevent things from ever coming
to this, but life just seems to continue giving me every
bad thing and circumstance while WH goes on his "merry" way.

Having this happen right at Christmas doesn't help either-
It used to be my favorite holiday and I loved all the fun
things and traditions that H and I had, and really enjoyed
the years we went to his parent's house since it was fun
to have a big family and kids around. (we alternated going
there with being here with my parents). This year it'll be
just me and my parents. My sister and family will arrive
a couple days after and it'll be nice to see them and do
a few things together although I'll have to work and will
also be in a cast at the time. They are jewish, so will
have already celebrated their holiday-

It will be a hard weekend with having the dress rehearsal
and concerts, but at least being busy keeps me from thinking
about it all as much and tired enough to sleep.
Slammed

And Hugs to you Slammed...

(((((SLAMMED)))))

I want to get my hands on your WH, too..along with Eav's WH..they would be in MUCH TROUBLE if I was magical and could find them...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I'd love that too, Mimi- thanks

Do you think WH and OW could have really broken up ?
If so, and he is still going forward with D, does he just
truly not love me or care about us at all anymore ?
If not, why would he have lied and said that ?

it seems lying is all they do slammed....and there doesn't have to be a reason that we can understand....it's just because they CAN

hey slammed

as i see all of the christmas decorations going up and see of of the shown advertised on tv, i'm feeling sad and missing my H.

all i want for christmas is.....

i'm sure you want the same thing

i wonder why it is that we've done the right things but had none of the right outcomes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Hi Slammed,
I haven't been around much but try to catch up on your thread from time to time. I have been busy with work, family and taking care of FIL. Miracles happen. FIL health crisis seems to have shaken FWH right out of his fog. He was suddenly my H again. I didn't expect it. Even though he had been showing signs and doing some of the right things. I didn't expect his thinking to come around. I wasn't sure I wanted him ...the way he had become. I have changed...he has changed and we are finally on the same page. He is turning to me for help and support and he is there for me.

I don't say this to "rub it in". You know I have been on this journey a long time...I still not quite sure where it will lead...but I am willing to take the journey.



You are not alone. I pray for you everday...not that your WH will return. I pray for you to find strength, happiness, a clear mind and a calm heart, that you love and know you are loved, that you follow a path that will help you find these treasures. I pray the same thing for your WH. I'll leave up to God to figure out if you will find these things on the same path w/ WH.

My son has his first concert tonight (he is in the high school chorus). How long have you been singing? His voice is so deep the chorus director went nuts recruiting him.

How is your foot?
When is your surgery?
How is the new job going?

Please take care of yourself and know I am thinking of you.

Hi Slammed,

I haven't heard from you in a while..., are you still there? I'm thinking of you...

Milk

Thanks ChaCha and Milk~
Sorry, wasn't able to post for a few days as the Windows
program in my computer "died" last week and this is the first I've had access since then-

The last week has been really busy- I'm learning some new
accounts for work, had to go get "pre-op" bloodwork done
for my surgery (first time I've had blood drawn and was very nervous about it but did okay !) and have been trying
to get all my holiday preparations done before my surgery
as well as keeping the house nice in case of "showings".

My weekend went well- ran lots of errands, did most of my
Christmas shopping, had a fresh manicure and was able to go
to two movies with friends. Finished my shopping in Mon.
night, and sent out the last card today, so just have gift
wrapping to do and can do that this weekend, in a cast !
Had a jury duty notice for Mon. but was fortunate in that
I did not have to go in.

I'm working today and supposed to go to an Ob/Gyn appt then
pick up my new glasses at lunchtime, and later to my parents
house to stay the night, but we are having quite a blizzard
right now and I'm getting nervous about the plans for the
day and my surgery tomorrow-
I was going to take the dog and stay overnight at their
house as I have to be at the surgery center really early,
tomorrow and they live close to it, plus I will be staying there the rest of the day and night tomorrow since I am to be with someone for the first 24 hrs.
I hope I'll feel well enough to come back home on Friday
and don't have to work that day. Figure I'll just take it
easy rest of the weekend, although I hope to feel up to
going to Christmas eve church, then plan to go down to my
parent's house later on Christmas (sister arrives midday)
for dinner and to seen them-

Got one message from WH at end of last week, asking where, what time, and how long my surgery was to last, which was
rather curious- can't imagine he'd be thinking to be there
so don't know what that was about. I also have not ever received back a copy of the paperwork from the court, which either means WH has not filed his financials (after he was in such a RUSH) or the court is much slower than they said it would be...

Well, off to get to my Dr appt- it's snowing and blowing so I hope roads won't be too bad. Won't have a chance to post again until the weekend, but thank you for the support and prayers about my surgery and Merry Christmas to everyone.
Slammed

Good to hear from you Slammed. Merry Christmas!

Milk

I hope your surgery goes well and you make a quick recovery.You'll be in my prayers.

It's been quite a week, but wanted to let you know I had my surgery and am doing okay !

When I posted last Wed. I was heading off to an Ob/Gyn appt and we were having heavy snow and wind. I made it there but on the way back got stuck in a drift, on my own street !
Walked home to get my shovel and went back to try to dig myself out, but the wind was filling snow back quicker than I could clear it and I couldn't get out. Finally a neighbor came out to help, but we realized I'd never get through the thick drifts in my low-to-ground car, so we at least got it over to the curb so it'd be out of the way and not get hit.
Felt upset to have to leave it and was exhausted by time I got back home- hadn't even realized my clothes were totally
"frozen" on me, and had to take a long, hot shower to get warmed back up !
Later had a call from the "Pre-op" department at the Surgery
Center, needing some medical background. I also talked to them about my being very needle-phobic, as I had hoped they would be able to give me some liquid meds before the IV, as was done at my surgery last year, which really helped with my anxiety. Was upset when they said "they didn't think they did that" at their center ! I asked if they ever had to cancel surgeries due to weather, but was told it was very rare and that I should plan to be there as scheduled.

I'd planned to drive down to my parents that evening, in order to spend the night and be closer to the Surgery Ctr.,
but with my car stuck and roads bad I wasn't sure what I'd
do, until my Dad called and said he was putting the chains on his truck and coming to get me ! Had to rush to get my things packed, things for the dog, and try to leave the house neat, but we got safely down to their house for the night, despite lots of snow, drifts, and poor visibility.
The drive that usually takes about 20 minutes took about an
hour !

Didn't sleep very well with being in a different bed, the dog barking alot, and worrying about the weather and my surgery, but was up and at the Surgery Ctr early on Thurs.
Had a sinking feeling as we drove up and not many lights were on and talked to a night nurse at the door who said they were not opening until at least noon and I'd have to call to reschedule my surgery. Went back to my parent's house feeling really down and frustated after all the effort
to get there and being "psyched up" to just get it over !
Called a little later and had the good fortune to reach a person who ended up being very helpful and nice- she was very understanding about my needing to get it done quickly due to my insurance situation, and my not wanting to have to take off more work without pay. She stayed in touch with me all morning as they tried to get organized, and called my Dr., who was available and willing to come do it, it was just an issue of the Surgery Ctr. not having enough staff.
She even called the hospital to see if I could get on their
schedule, but they had same issue with not enough staff.
Finally, by 1pm she called to say she was really sorry, but they were not going to be able to open and I could go ahead and eat/drink (had been holding off in case they could do it that day !) She started working to try to get me on next day's schedule and called later to say she had me set for
Friday at 7am, and had even gotten the medical director to okay the liquid meds for me, so I felt much better and slept pretty good that night !
Got there early Fri and after registering and paperwork I was taken back as first "customer" of the day. Had a nice
pre-op nurse who said she saw I was to have the liquid meds and would be happy to give them to me, but couldn't do it because my Dr nor I had yet signed consent forms and if I had meds that made me "out of it" I wouldn't be able to do "informed" consent. Got very scared, but she said she'd
use the tiniest needle made to numb the IV area, then "talk
me through it all", and definitely did know what she was doing, so it ended up not being too bad.
A little later the anaesthesiologist (sp ?) came to see me and looked like he was about 15 years old ! Asked me some general medical and history questions, then asked if I was to have a "nerve block", which I knew nothing about-
He explained they often use it for surgery on "limbs" in order to reduce pain later, which sounded good, although the
procedure itself didn't sound very pleasant ! (they use an electric needle to send some shocks through the nerves to make sure they have the right spot, then inject numbing meds into the sciatic nerve, in a spot right down from the knee on side of the leg). He said they wouldn't be doing it until I'd had some "la la land" medicine and wouldn't be much aware of it, so that sounded much better, however they too had to wait until my Dr came in order to have the forms signed before they gave me the drugs...
Finally- my Dr arrived. He talked to me briefly, signed all the forms, and did something with my leg, which I later found out was him "signing" it, which was his ritual done to make sure he operated on the right one ! With that done,
oxygen tubing was put on me and the Dr came up to add the meds to my IV. I remember seeing him inject it, feeling a light-headed, tingly sensation, and before he was back down near my feet, I was a "goner" !
Next thing I knew I was waking up and had another nice nurse with me telling me I was in recovery, all done, doing
fine, and just to let myself wake up. I remember asking the time wondering how long it'd been and think it had been only about 45 minutes. Felt very sleepy but not sick or
in pain, and asked the nurse if I had a cast on. She said
"yes", and that to show they had a sense of humor and show
Christmas "spirit", they had given me one striped like a
candy cane ! My Dr came by and talked to me for a moment,
and said I'd done great and my ankle had "really needed it"
then went to take a "souvenir" photo (xray) of my ankle that
they took during the surgery showing the bone chips that he
took out to my parents, and told them I was okay.
Stayed in recovery about 30 minutes and felt okay as I became more awake. Didn't think the nerve block was working
until the nurse said she'd take the ice bag out from under
my knee and I realized Id not know it was even there- could
not feel it ! Got unhooked from all the machines, helped
with dressing and given "post op" directions, then was on
my way home awhile later. Stopped to fill the RX for pain
meds, and spent the rest of the day on the couch, resting
and reading. Was not to put any weight on that leg the first
24 hrs due to the nerve block, so had to use the crutches,
but was able to eat later, and felt okay. Felt some pain
by late in the day, but not bad, and slept pretty well too.
My parents brought me home Sat. and by then it only took a
little shoveling and they were able to get my car out and
safely back home. I rested, watched some movies, and was able to wrap a few packages that evening, and did mostly the same Sun. Didn't know when to expect the nerve block
would wear off or to take meds, and definitely could tell
when it was time Sat. afternoon ! Since then have just
been taking one pill every 4 hrs so I don't have the "gap"
with no meds and have a lot of pain. Was able to go to
Christmas Eve chuch Sun. although I felt rather sleepy
during the service and getting around on the crutches was
tiring.
My sister and family were to arrive Mon. and we were going
to then "have Christmas" at my parents that evening, but
their flights were cancelled, and they didn't get in until
last night. Realizing we had no plans, I called and asked
my parents if they'd just like to come over and, so they
did and we had an "impromptu" Christmas dinner and watched
a movie, so it ended up being an okay day, despite being a
very odd Christmas (no H, surgery, my sister not here).

The realtor had called me Fri to say they had someone wanting to come see our house, so had our first showing
that day. Wh had also left me a message saying he hoped my surgery went well and I was okay, and that he had stopped by our house to get some gloves. Was surprised when I got
home Sat to see that he'd taken one pair of his gloves, but
left more gloves, hat, goggles, snow boots, coats, and all
his ski stuff in the same closet- you'd think he'd take it
all at once ! Also was surprised that he left a present and
card under our tree - for me. (and one for the dog too).
I opened it Mon and it was a generous gift card from one of
my favorite stores- nice, but weird !!! ??

Worked yesterday and am today, although it is very slow.
I'm glad, as I'm still feeling kinda sleepy and not as
sharp as usual, which I assume is the meds. I've just been
taking one, every 4 hrs, and usually with food to avoid a
stomach upset (it's Vicodin). Had an upset stomach the other night, don't know if it was from that or not-
I'm actually surprised I don't have more pain, but guess
that's okay- !? I'm also taking one aspirin per day, which
was for blood thinning and prevention of blood clots, I think.
Today I notice that my whole body feels really tired and
somewhat sore- I'm wondering if that is from nerves, the
surgery itself, having to lay/sit different due to my foot,
lugging the cast around, and/or using the crutches too ?
I also notice that my cast seems tight today, although my
toes are not blue or cold and I can move them. Wondered if
I need to try to get my leg propped up higher and/or add the ice bag under my knee (nurse said that still helps as
it cools the blood in the veins to your foot) ? If any of you have surgery/cast experience or medical expertise and
have thoughts, suggestions, or tips, please let me know.
I don't know what to expect, what's "normal", or if theres
anything else I should do to help with healing, etc...

I go to the Dr for a "post op" appt in two weeks, and am
assuming they will take the cast off to see how the incision
is healing (don't know if I have stitches, staples, etc)
and how the swelling looks or possibly a new X-ray. Don't
know if they'll put another cast on then, or if I'll go
back in the walking "boot" I had before-

Am going to my parent's tonight to see my sister and her
family and to all go out to dinner, which should be fun,
although it will be very tiring, I'm sure. My helpful
neighbors got me groceries today, and have offered to help
anytime, which is very nice, so I'm pretty set in case we
do get another big snow, which is a possibility in the next
couple days !

Slammed

Glad your surgery went well!

Milk

Slammed

Glad your surgery was successful and good people are looking out for you.

As far as surgery experience-being tired is very much a part of recovering. I was surprised at how much rest my body needed after surgery because I didn't feel "sick".

Your body needs lots of rest to repair itself so listen to it. I watched a lot of Law and Order (don't care for Soaps) after my surgery. It's on about four channels during the day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Also, the Vicadin can make you groggy and upset your stomach. Take it with milk or food to help with that.

I hope you are up and about soon.

a present from your H????

Slammed,

I'm so sorry for all of your misfortune...really..but I need to tell you that I continue to think that you are making a mistake in allowing your H to think that you will remain friends upon being divorced...I wish you would have done a dark PLAN B... He evidently continues to think that you are his friend...that you would WELCOME his gift. I would send it back to him. He's offering you a crumb. I told my H that I did want to have any type of relationship with him whatsoever if I could not be his wife. I meant it...

(Belated) Happy New Year to all ! I spent several days on the repair and upgrade of my computer last week so am just
having a chance to post again.

Although our bad weather and flight cancellations changed many of our plans over the holidays, I did enjoy getting to
see and spend some time with my sister and her family while they were here. We just "hung out" some at both my parents and my house and all went out to eat several times during their visit- they returned home last Thurs.

Had my "post op" appointment last Wed. which went well.
My cast was removed, and although it looked pretty "yucky"
to me, they thought my incision was healing well, and that
the swelling was as it should be from the surgery. I was
surprised to find there were no stiches or staples- it had
been closed with "steri strips", and the incision was only
about 1-1/2 inches, smaller than I'd expected. Since the
repairs were pretty intensive, the Dr wanted me to continue
to have stability, support and protection, so put me in a
new cast for another 3 weeks (purple this time <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
At that point, if all is still going well, I'll be out of
the cast and into the walking "boot", and will start on some
rehab.

With having company, dealing with my ankle, work, and yet
another round of snow, I stayed busy enough that I didn't
dwell on WH or let myself get too down over Christmas, but
for some reason New Year's Eve was really hard. I had gone
out with my sister, BIL, neice and nephew for a fun chinese
dinner, then hung out at my parent's house for awhile before
spending the rest of the evening at home, trying to stay
awake long enough to see the midnight fireworks shot from
the Peak, and just felt really down, alone, and sad, as I
thought of all the fun holidays H and I had over the years.
Felt said knowing I was home alone while he was undoubtedly
with OW, perhaps out at a party or at least together.
Maybe part of the sadness was also remembering that WH had
been home with me on N.Y.E. last year- it was a week after
his DUI and his anxiety and depression were really bad, so
it wasn't a very fun night but we had been together, seen
the fireworks, and I'd been so thankful that he as home,
safe, and saying he had ended it with OW, loved me, and was
wanting to recover our marriage- (not knowing the A would resume again a couple of months later and he'd move out and
bring us to this point a year later).

As far as WH, he's made no attempts at contact, and I don't
know where things stand as far as if he filed the final D
paperwork or not. His Mom sent a little gift package for
our dog which included a note to WH, saying she was still
really bothered about his not having been home for such a
long time, that she'd tried to call him twice on Christmas
and once the day after and was frustrated she could never
reach him, and that she should not have to beg him to call
home one in awhile, so I guess he's still so self-involved
with himself and his OW that he's blowing off his family !

Johnstwin- Thanks for the post-op tips. I was very surprised
too at how tired I've felt, and it's not helped that I now
also have a cold. I bought new "mega" vitamins yesterday and
hope to get my immunity and strength back up- just seems like I've been "under the weather" for ages now !

Eav- Glad you had nice holidays. I understand your feelings
of sadness and missing H, as I felt the same way too. I was
very surprised that WH left a gift for the dog or I either
one since he basically "replaced" us both-

Mimi- Maybe I'm missing something here, but I sure don't see that I am doing anything to allow or make WH think that we would be "friends", or anything else while he's still
involved with OW, or if D !!
I know I wasn't able to do as dark a Plan B as I'd have liked, but both my original and the revised PBL (that SH helped with) were very clear on that point, as well as my saying straight out during his IC and to his face later
that I would certainly never even consider being anything
less than his wife, and wanted absolutely nothing to do with
him at all untilt he A was completely, permanently over and
he was ready and willing to do the work to recover.

Impossible to know what he was thinking (if anything), but
my only assumption about his leaving me a gift was that it
made him feel less guilty about my being left alone to deal
with losing my house, the blizzard, surgery, and being alone
for the holidays...???
Not that it matters, but I wondered if he was surprised or even noticed that the house was left in spotless condition with just a few holidays decorations and that there were no gifts under my little tree (hadn't wrapped anything yet)?

I've wondered if any part of him thought of how scary all
the medical stuff was to me, especially without him there ?
My H would have known that.

I have wondered lately if the frequent, temporary "break ups" he and OW have had all along are always about me/ or his not being divorced or if they have other issues ?
If they really did "break up" again, as WH said, and this
was the reason, then seems like his filing his paperwork should make OW very happy, get him back in her good graces,
"fix" all their problems, and things should all be "rosy".
However, if that's not the only issue or problem, could it
finally be a chance for then to see that, and not having me or his being married to blame, things finally come to an end ?
That should be a little encouraging, but I can't honestly
think that if WH went all the way to D he'd ever consider
"going back" to try to rebuild or have a relationship with
me again, and I'm not sure if I could do that either- I
don't really believe in remarriage, maybe not even to him.

Slammed

Hi Slammed, happy new year!

Good to hear from you again - and I'm glad to hear that your ankle is healing nicely.

Don't put too much thoughts as to WHY your WH left the gift for you and your dog, but it IS nice of him to at least spend the time to go get something, wrap them, and place them under the tree. But don't let him get away from the sense of guilt for having an A. No matter how many presents he might give you, he 'abandoned' you and broke the wedding vow.

I'm glad you had good time with your family over the holidays. I totally understand, I was a little sad too myself over the holidays, but was NOT as nearly as sad as last year.

Milk

Thanks, Milk- happy New Year to you too !

Didn't post much last week as while already recovering from my ankle surgery I also had a bad cold/sore throat that made me feel totally worn out just trying to keep up with
work and the basic necessities around the house. Glad to
say I am finally feeling much better !

Was glad to have a long weekend and enjoyed getting out of the house some to run errands, do a little shoppiing, and get a fresh manicure- although the weather was so cold and
miserable that it was tiring just to get all bundled up !
I also have to be very careful on ice due to my ankle-
Rehearsals for the group I sing with resumed last week, so
have that to look forward to as well now- and am glad to
have a great group of supportive and fun friends there as
well as enjoying the music aspect.

Nothing new with WH, but I have to think that he has not
filed the remaining D paperwork or D would have been final
and I'd have received the paperwork and decree by now-
Don't have any way to find out without asking him, which is
OUT, so I'm just trying to not worry or think about it much,
but have to admit it's curious after he was in such a huge
rush to have it "done" by end of the year and I had such a
hassle just getting him to delay long enough for me to stay
on his insurance for the surgery. Don't want to get big hope
up but have wondered if he and OW really did break up as he
said some time back, or if they are at least shaky enough
that he's not so sure that D is what he wants now.... ???
SO hard to ever have any idea what's going on in WH's head !

I have IC tonight - it's been awhile due to holidays, the
weather, and illness of both myself and IC, so will be good
to go again. Have had a few tough days lately which I think
has been due at least in part to being less mobile than I
usually have been due to my ankle, then being sick, and our
weather being so bad and keeping me in the house.
I've also realized that the longer the A drags on, it is
starting to feel like our life and good memories are getting
more distant and starting to fade out, even for me (and
likely for WH, who probably cared less about them than I did
to start with and may be glad to have them "disappear".)
I know that our upcoming anniversary (7 Feb) and Valentines
are both going to be sad and tough too...

Otherwise, I'm just trying to keep the house in good shape for "showing", and have enjoyed watching some movies as I got a free month of "Netflix". I'll be glad when I get the
cast off in two more weeks and begin some "rehab", as that
will get me out to do therapy and out to the gym to use the
exercise bikes and I should feel less "house bound".

Slammed