bumping up

Vet-

Shoot I've posted to you twice since you asked the questions about your meds, and I keep forgetting to answer the question.....sheesh.

Lexapro is used to treat depression and anxiety disorders so it doesn't surprise me that your Doc put you on that. But Antidepressants usually take about 4 weeks to fully kick in.

Ativan is to treat anxiety. It's along the same lines as Valium or Xanax and will help with immediate symptoms of anxiety. (It will probably make you a little sleepy though, so be careful).

Sorry I didn't answer your question before.

God Bless,

-Caren

Thanks for the info on the meds Caren, and the Busch Blvd I am talking about is by Busch Gardens in FL.
I have been sick all weekend with the Crohn's flaring up. Dr. put me on Vicodin until I can (hopefully) get in to see him today.

I have done plan A, Thought we were in plan B. Everyone knows of the affair, wrote a NC letter, told the OWH, wrote an agreement letter between us. etc. etc. etc...
Still he leaves work and lies about what time, then says he swings by different places, still doesn't bring in his cell phone, (which I'll know soon if there is anything on it because the bill should be here any day).
Lies, Lies, Lies!!

Call the OWH, vettech. The answer is more exposure. Tell your H's parents, his siblings, your close friends, your children. Set out to ruin the affair. Exposure ruins the affair.

Vet

how are you??

bb

Meloody,
EVERYONE already knows!!
Except DS-10, and I wouldn't do that to him!!
Next is a GPS tracking devise, I only need $50.00
and then will head to ebay (on my sisters computer)
to buy one.

Blossom
Sick as a dog because of a flare up with the Crohn's
Disease! Last Thurs- Dr.appt. to check for STD's, Fri-
Sonogram, Mon- Appt. with gastrologist, Tues- CAT scan,
Wed- Sigmoidoscopy, Thurs- back to reg. Dr. to find out
about STD's!!!! GEEZZZ!!!!

Vet, the OWH does NOT KNOW that the affair has resumed! No one else knows this. They think the affair is over. You must stay in contact with him and keep each other updated; that is how you fight the affair!

And I would reconsider your decision to not tell your son. Kids can deal with the truth, they can't deal with lies. He should be told what is going on in his own life.

Vet,

Sick as a dog because of a flare up with the Crohn's

What exactly is this??? (sorry this is a language problem for me, I don't understand the word)

I'm sorry that you are going through so much and I can really feel with you. This stress really does terrible things with us.

As Mel already wrote, please contact OWH!!!! See what he has to say!!!!! *IMPORTANT*

hugs
bb

To quote my DD & DS. 13 & 12, "It's our life, we need to know so we know what to do.".

BB - I don't know when VT will get back but I believe Crohn's desease is a non curable and it affects the large (?) intestines. It is very painful and affects your diet. You don't process food they way you should. Some people have to have large portions of their intestines taken out. It can make you very sick. I know some people who have it.

I would hold of on telling your 10 yr old. He is young, he doesn't need to be caring around such adult issues unless it is absolutely necessary. You can tell him you and daddy are having some issues if he starts to notice. I know it is a fine line, you don't want to keep them in the dark, but some things just shouldn't be placed on their shoulders. Also, it depends on how sensetive he is.

Best of luck to you VT.

family, Dr. Harley is a firm advocate of telling the children. Children know when something is wrong and they can much better deal with the truth than lies. Yesterday on his radio show he spoke about how he was told about a parents affair when he was a child and the impactful, positive, lesson he received from it. He was able to see up close the damage caused by affairs and because of that, has never been tempted to have an affair. He said it was a profound, impactful lesson. Children can deal with the TRUTH just fine.

On the other hand, i can attest to the enormous psychological problems suffered when children are lied to about affairs because I experienced it personally. Because my parents lied to me, I grew up doubting my instincts about right and wrong. I was very morally confused as a child because of all the secrecy.

I agree totally............I too experienced being lied to as a child concerning my fathers affair and it's "damaged" me for life!
I could of coped with the truth because I definately "knew" that something was NOT right!!!!!

I found out about it anyways on my own! (only this was VERY UGLY!!!!)

bb

BB, being lied to about my father's affairs caused me to DOUBT my instincts about right and wrong as a little girl. I thought that I must be a very stupid girl because apparently what seemed wrong to me, was not WRONG to adults because they never mentioned it. And because it was never mentioned, my father freely introduced me to me his girlfriends later on. Which is a COMMON WS trick designed to normalize a sleazy affair. But because no one would tell me the truth, I was very confused and filled with doubt because nothing made sense to me. Apparently, adultery must be morally acceptable since every one seemed to condone it by their silence.

And at age 48, I am STILL dealing with the lies. When I buried my father 3 weeks ago, his "recent" girlfriend showed up with a photo of she and my father from one of his horse race wins in 1977! Well, guess what? My dad was MARRIED to another woman then and I was living with him and going to college. I asked stepmother #3 [4 of his ex wives showed up at the funeral] to explain this picture and she told me, "dear, that was your father's mistress for 30 years!" She has been his mistress since I was a teenager and she worked at our bank. And I was never told this, which I deeply resent.

You guys could be right, I've just heard two schools of thought on this. If you want to tell a 10 yr old daddy's cheating on mom, be prepared to get them some counseling. I've heard many stories where children's grades begin to fall, they have nightmares, they become emotional wrecks. At what age is it considered appropriate to tell? And if you are telling out of spite, to cause the child to be angry right along with you that is not right. If the child is going to be told it would seem it would need to be either both parents or the cheating parent who should tell. I know honesty is the best policy, it just seems like it's unfair to place this on a childs shoulders.

My dad had an A that he would never admit too. I was 17 at the time, so I knew deep down he was lying. Maybe because I was older I viewed it differently.

Bottom line, you guys are probably right. I am probably letting my personal feelings on it cloud my judgement.

Oh yeah, I've also never understood wy parents can sometimes be such a mystery. I found out some things my mom never spoke of after she passed away. I still wonder why she couldn't have shared them. They were life altering facts about her after all!

family, it has been my experience that children become angry about lies and lies cause much more trauma than the truth. Children KNOW something is wrong and they need to know the truth and get some much needed moral guidance. When everyone lies about it, the child knows there is a problem but isn't helped in dealing with it. I can't tell you how much the lies and secrecy warped my sense of reality and morality.

I didn't need counseling, I needed a parent to help me navigate my feelings about right and wrong. But I DID need years of counseling to undo the damage caused by the lies and the utter lack of moral guidance. And children SHOULD be angry about adultery, that is a normal, healthy reaction. Decent people react with anger to injustice, especially when it is done to YOU.

It's a sad tragic situation no matter how you look at it and the children almost always suffer the most.

"It's a sad tragic situation no matter how you look at it and the children almost always suffer the most."

That is so true!

Good call on the GPS tracking device. Maybe put the recorder back in place so when he finds it, he'll think he got over on you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

familycomesfirst
You are mostly right about the Crohn's Disease. It affects from the intestines all the way to the mouth though. In 1999 I had 80% of my large intestines removed due to strictures. It is very painful and comes back where they resewed your intestines together. I am having what's called a flare up due to stress.
As you all know I went last Thursday to get tested for STD's and am suppose to get my results today. My gastrologist called me last night because he had been calling my primary Dr. to get the bloodwork results...... (I had a sigmoidoscopy yesterday and a CAT scan the day before to make sure my Crohn's was ok)
I now have Herpies!!! I didn't tell my WH last night, I want to let the Dr. call the OW and the OWH to let them know first!!!! They do that in case of STD's right???? If not, I will call the OWH then the OW and then my WH!!!
I can't tell you how angry I am!!!!!