Hi Nash

You are definately dealing with Sexual Addiction. Your councellor will help you with that.

I know you don't want to lose your wife but you have to come clean with her 100% - it will be the HARDEST thing you ever do. But it's the only way you stand a chance at fixing your marriage.

I know your mind says - I need to protect her, I will tell her half the truth - she doesn't need to know the whole truth - it will hurt her, I will lose her...but if you AREN"T 100% honest with her now - you will never truly recover...and you could lose her down the road.

Also by being truthful with her, if she stays - she can hold you accountable. She can be in control as you heal from this.

The lying part is the hardest thing to overcome...Lying has become part of who you are - you open your mouth to tell the truth and a lie comes out. Having her to hold you accountable will help you over come this as well as you overcome the SA.

You need to tell her the truth, and tell her you want to make this work and that you love her and are willing to do anything...and let her go. But during this time, do not visit strip clubs - still be 100% transparent with her - give her copies of itneraries, etc. Show her you MEAN what you say...if you screw up once on this - she may never come back.

welcome to MB and the advice you have gotten from many other people is great! Start there!

Thanks Dorry. I have a close friend who is going to hold me accountable every night. Believe me, I want to tell her everything. My counselor just said that I need to wait for her to contact me to initiate conversation. I suppose I just have to give her the time she needs to come to grips with everything. I am afraid of something though. Suppose it is another week or longer before she even contacts me. She still does not know that I had sex with the stripper. I am afraid that she is just going to get enough courage to finally talk to me, and then I am going to unload this on her, and we will be right back where we are now. I just need to pray that God will give her the strength to endure all of the things that I need to tell her. Dorry, all I hope to get is another chance to prove to her that I can be the husband I should have been all along. I love her so much and we have such a wonderful history. I have always wanted to grow old with her, and even though we don't have kids now, we knew that we did want them some day. First things first. I am working on my problems, and hopefully she will know that I am dedicated to making this work. I don't know if you are a spiritual person, but if you are, please pray for me. Thank you.

Ok. I recieved a phone call from a mutual friend and next door neighbor last night. She is a real estate agent. She said that my wife and her parents came by her house yesterday afternoon to ask about putting our house on the market. Our friend said that my wife just can't bear to stay in the house, even though we had temporarilty agreed last Sunday that I would stay in the house and take care of all the payments. Of course, this can't be done unless we both cooperate, because both of our names are on the house note. Only 30 minutes after talking with her, my cell phone rings and it is my father-in-law. He tells me that my wife has decided she wants to stay in the house. He wants me to sign the deed over to her name. Also, he says that they will be moving furniture out tomorrow and Saturday. This statement contradicts itself, because why would she be moving all of the furniture out is she was going to stay there. I have a feeling that she wants the house in her name, so she can sell the house on her own, and keep all of the equity that has been built. I just cannot sign this over to her. I have not even spoken to my wife since Sunday morning, and to me, doing this would be giving up on our marriage. I want to tell my father-in-law that I can't do anything until my wife and I talk. Dealing with these issues, is something you normally do when sitting down in front of an attorney after D papers have been filed. Keep in mind, it has only been 5 days since this all began. I am going to try and call me counselor to ask what I should do, but he may not be able to talk because I am sure he has a full schedule. What am I going to do?

I have been advised by my friend who is an attorney and my counselor to not deed this house to my wife. My father-in-law keeps calling me to get me to do this. He has even threatened to call my employer to let them know what is going on. Nothing that I have done has affected my job, nor have I spent any company money on my addiction. I told my father-in-law that I was not going to do anything until I talk with my wife, and that I understand she doesn't want to talk to me now. I told him that I didn't want to do anything on a whim, and end up doing the wrong thing. I also told him that I would put it in writing that I would take care of everything to do with the house (mortgage, bills, etc.) I suppose the only thing I can do is wait for my wife to contact me, or I suspect the next contact I hear from her will be through an attorney. Anyone want to chime in?