Silly Girl

For your own sake in recovery i recommend deleting that letter and deleting it from here.

Re-reading these things makes letting go of Om alot harder. been there done that.

The best thing you can do for yourself is get rid of anything and everything you ever wrote to him, and you wrote to yourself.

Everytime you have a bad day with your husband, you will be tempted to re-read that letter...and you will re-read it - feel better for a moment, and start doubting your decisions.

delete it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I was just ready to disconnect and saw your reply, Dorry.
I will delete it now.

I have already written him a quick reply and closed the
account we shared so NO MORE EMAILS and that note went along with it.

Dorry, I admire you SO MUCH and all the help you give here on the Marriage Builder's Message Board.

Sometimes I am sure you have to make your mind go WAY BACK and remember how it was for you in the beginning, after parting from OM, to understand the fogginess of us new to being FORMER WW in the early stages of recovery.

(I sure like the looks of FORMER in front of the WW.)

I will miss OM's emails for sure A LOT yet it feels absolutely WONDERFUL to be doing the RIGHT THING.

I do have peace of mind again; I haven't felt that for a long time.

I am glad you have some piece of mind <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

at times you will look back too though...and think about him...this is when you may feel the worst about yourself.

You do yourself a great favor by making sure you are surrounded by the love of your husband...notes from him, emails from him, cards he gave you in the past.

plaster them all around you where you are the most <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and make sure there is no memory of the Om where you spent most of your time. Delete emails, delete gifts, delete songs...take extraordinary precautions....and replace it all with stuff your husband has done for you.

it really helps!

Sadly I dont have to go way back and remember...it's been 14 months...and sadly sometimes the memories of early recovery are still fresh and painful.

It's not a fast road...but I am happier than I have been in a very long long time....even with the painful guilt and memories i have...

Silly Girl....one of the first things I did this past week was delete, erase and delete again. No more re reading txts, etc. Why did I even save them, to hang myself sooner?
Ok, what happened today. I didn't go into work. I have anti anxiety meds right now and maybe tomorrow I'll be able to face the monster I created. Disappointing, yes...but I feel safe here. It's easier to hide then to go out and cope.

Smfry, I wanted to apologise to you as well.

I should never have sworn at you. You'd think if anyone knew what all this was like, it would be me.

I probably get hot under the collar because I've been there, done that, got the scars and am SO OVER IT.

Gosh, Silly Girl is so like the name StupidGirl who I talked to for hours and hours.