I keep hearing similar (or almost identical) stories right and left.... each day. And they ALL claim that no one would understand them, and their stories are unique!!!

Is the world too peaceful or something that those WS's get "bored" with the routine life and start wondering about the wonderful fantasy world??? This is like a black plague... will someone PLEASE stop them??

One of my main REGRETS or my MAJOR MISTAKE was to ENABLE this for years....

Saying to myself, "NOT MY HUSBAND" rather than saying "WHY NOT MY HUSBAND"..


I should have admitted to myself..of course he is having a MLC and is at high risk for having an A and then I ignored that he was actually having one and then he got more deeply involved..looking back he made it clear as day...


YUK!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I have printed this out to show a few people.

If I thought it would go through the fog I would give it to WH friday. But of course he would say thats not me ....lol Even though he told his mom he thought he might be having a MLC...... Gezzz ya think ????? lol


Hurting

Mimi.....


It is interesting. I remember when my BF's husband revealed to her he had an A (6 months into their marriage ~ happily recovered now!). I knew the guy as long as she did (not as well obviously). But I knew him and I could not believe he had an A. I thought to myself, NO! Not him! I did not ask her for all the info right away (I really did not know if I should ask, she was in so much pain), but I said something at one point about it being just a ONS, and she looked at me and told me to stop being so naive, that it was a full blows A (he was in some fog for a long time!).

I did not want to believe that it was possible. My H (we just got engaged at the time) said he could not believe she still wanted him back, that she should just dump his sorry [censored]. And till today, he says she is crazy to work on the M! He said he would never do anything like that. I was convinced that my H would never do the same.

Boy, do I have a slow learning curve! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Daisy

My WW has defenitely been reading this and has mastered Chapter 11...


I always wondered how she could manage this throughout the night <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Daisy,

I would have never thought my H would have done it either as he always sadi he could never do that and he never had any use for others who did.

All our friends and family were as blown away as i was. No one could believe it. At first everyone said no way not WH. I guess it shows it can happen to anyone who does not protect themselves or their marriages.

Hard lesson to learn thats for sure....

Hurting

HTW,

#11 was the first thing I noticed, my W has it mastered as well. Shortly after all the others came into crystaline focus and here I am!

LOL..I just read #11..I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS STUFF IS WRITTEN DOWN...

It used to seem like my H drew a line down the middle of the bed..if I went over the line, he would almost wince...

CUT TO TODAY..well, I won't even go there..but being that I am middle-aged myself..too much closeness at nignt can be a problem...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

#11 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

My WH used to sleep nude, after D-Day and he had check out, he would come to bed in socks, PJ pants, T-shirt tucked in. He would have worn a coat of armor if possible.

OMG...THIS IS TOOO FUNNY!!!


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

#11 never happened in my house even during our 2 false recoveries.

He still slept in the nude and cuddled with me at night. and the SF was awesome... My WH was a little different than most it seems. In fact the one night he stayed here back in sept, before he went back out on the road after lying to OW, he still cuddled and slept in the natural state.

Kinda weird ..... I would almost be willing to bet if he had the chance now with no strings attached he would do it again....

Hurting

I'm really lovin' this thread!!


I always wondered how she could manage this throughout the night <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> [/quote]

Hope! I was just going to quote that one too! Don't you know????????? We have cooties!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Finally, my CH had to fall asleep on the couch and never come up to bed. I guess even the clinging to the edge of the mattress was too close to someone as awful as me. I mean really, how did he even manage to stay with me all these years? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Although, I guess as a confusion tactic he used to say, "Why do leave me on the couch when I fall asleep?" Then it changed to "Leave me alone I'm not ready for bed yet." And he'd spend the night on the couch.

I'm also lovin the "bagged salad" comment. CH's favorite question seems to be "Is this homemade?" as he awaits judgement. You see, his ho made all his favorite foods from scratch! Isn't she somethin'? Now let's see her keep it up for 25 years as she takes care of the kids, works full time, and sits home alone waiting for him to grace her with his presence.

#11 was different for my STBXH as well. From the moment he dropped the bomb, he had slept in the guest bedroom. That's also because his therapist (for sex addiction) told him not to "use" me just sexually... Then when he got a pink slip from work, he asked if he could come back to our bed. But that did not last more than 3 hours....

See, one of my STBX's problems was he could not complete any tasks.., so I am quite amazed that this thing (to get D) is the ONLY thing he has ever been able to stick to... go figure...

And Daisy, I felt the same way though.... I never ever thought STBX would do anything like this, as he always criticized those men who left their families...

This is another one my WW perfected. She was really in the fog the day before D-Day #2 and I asked her if something was wrong. Well she laid into me with all the babble bashing stuff and then I hear her doing the nasty with OM in our car the next day.

I've always wondered how the WS can go so long without talking to the BS and when they do talk it always seems to be negative stuff.

Funny, the past 2 nights I have started doing the cling to the edge of the bed thing myself and was even thinking of sleeping with DS. I have pretty much slowed down my Plan A to a crawl in preperation for Plan B. I've already told her that "I don't want to be hurt anymore" after finding out she saw OM last week and I'm slowing shutting down for hibernation. She is sensing that I'm no longer accepting the crumbs and changed my attitude.

My WS also changes in the bathroom now and shuts the door tight. She holds her robe tight like she is going out into the cold night with it on or something. Heaven forbid I see her exposed leg or back.

LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> #11
WH was a pro at this. I couldn't believe he didn't fall out of bed at night he was so close to the edge. While he was away on one of his trips to Puerto Rico, I got rid of our KINGsize bed and got a double bed. After all he had been threatening to leave...I didn't need the kingsize for just me. Now he tends to fall asleep in his recliner than comes up to bed...when its safe...after I have fallen asleep. I think he is afraid to touch me. Not because of cooties but if any part of me touches any part of him it ends up SF.

Hey I have a question! What about kissing? He just will not kiss me that was the first thing I noticed....cause I use to get a kiss every night and every morning.

Yes, my WW stopped kissing me during SF back in May and I just had a gut feeling something wasn't right but I was in denial.

And when I went to hug my WW she would close up like a clam shell and turn ot the side like I was going to crush her or something <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

About 1 month after d-day we had great SF with kissing and everything (my last SF with her) and she couldn't remember it 2 months later. Maybe because she was so busy with OM?
She did remember the awful SF we had just after d-day#1 though...she won't forget the bad stuff...sheessh <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Ok my WH must be one of the strange ones here then, because up until planb and me cutting of contact he still kissed me with passion and cuddled after SF.

Even during our court apperance in Dec. he kissed me goodbye with passion. But then two weeks later well we all know what happened.

So how come he was so different than most WS'S? He never said anything like he didn't want to cheat on the OW .... He was still affectionate up until planb... I don't get it... I know it was cake eating but he never pulled away in that respect....


Hurting

hurting....

He was cake eating. My H did the same thing. But that does not mean that he was there emotionally. He was not.

In your case, if you had not gone to Plan B, he would have probabaly gotten to that stage where he would not come to you for SF. It is not easy to live with yourself sleeping with OW and your spouse. He was still in cake eating stage when you went into Plan B. Lets hope he wakes up soon.

Daisy

Well,

Right now, all I get is a quick hand squeeze. And that is only if I initiate it. No hugs, no kisses (not even goodbye ones), no cuddling....this is very hard as these are all something that I need. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

C-

Daisy,

I know your right..... But it just puzzles me how some WS'S just cut of all affection and everything before they ever even leave the home.

I to hope he wakes up soon....

Hurting