Have you heard they've coined a phrase for the current epidemic of people willing to sleep with someone else's spouse? It's called mate poaching. Here's the scientific breakdown:
http://www.rense.com/general11/mate.htm The Science Of Stealing
Another's Mate
>By Melissa Schorr
7-6-1
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Future Jezebels, take note: Those who attempt to steal another's mate are more likely to succeed if they cozy up emotionally to their desired object, flaunt easy sex or generous gifts, and target those who are close to a breakup anyway.
That's according to a team of researchers exploring the field of ``mate poaching''--the tactics involved in romancing a person who is already ``taken.''
``Poaching happens at such a high rate, there's no preventing it,'' Dr. David P. Schmitt of Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois, told Reuters Health. ``It can happen to anybody.''
In fact, more than half of men and women questioned said they'd attempted poaching another person's mate at some point.
The researchers interviewed more than 1,000 college students on a series of questionnaires asking them whether they had ever attempted to steal another person away from a partner, been stolen from a mate, or had a mate stolen from them.
The results are published in a recent issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
The researchers found that more than 50% of study participants reported attempting to steal a romantic partner away from another person. They also found that mate poachers tended to describe themselves as being mean, unreliable and highly interested in sex.
On the flip side, about 80% of men and women reported receiving romantic passes while they were already involved in an ongoing relationship.
The people most likely to be poached were outgoing and open to new experiences and described themselves as being loving and sexy. But those most likely to actually follow through and leave their old partner for a new one were more likely to describe themselves as mean, unreliable, neurotic, unloving and highly interested in sex.
Successful tactics for pulling off a poach by both sexes included using humor and making an emotional bond, Schmitt said.
``Among the most effective things to do is to develop an emotional connection,'' he said. ``Confide in them and become a good friend.'' However, even simply waiting around until the couple broke up seemed to be an effective strategy.
Less successful tactics included putting down the person's current partner.
The researchers also looked at whether the status of the relationship changed the odds of a poacher successfully causing a dissolution. Poaches were more likely to be successful if the relationship was weaker, such as being long distance or close to breaking up. People were less likely to be poached if they were married or currently living with their partner.
The researchers also found that poaching is not without costs, such as divorce, unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and social stigma. Another drawback involved in poaching another partner was fear of being harmed by the encroached-upon and enraged mate. New partners also had fears about whether the person stolen would ultimately be faithful in their new partnership.
``So why poach? Why take that risk?'' Schmitt asked. ``One possibility is the excitement of it. Some felt their self-esteem would go up. Another is that with people getting married later, at a certain age the most valued partners are already mated.''
``People's situation in life and their general personality traits,'' he said, ``are what predict attempts for making and receiving mate poaching.''
However, the researchers found there was no personality type most likely to have their partner poached from them.
``Your best bet to lower the possibility of their being enticed away,'' Schmitt noted, ``is to satisfy your partner's desires.''
SOURCE: Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2001;80:894-917.
