Well, after three years, the OW has ended the affair with my WH and gone back to her husband and daughter. Wow.

I haven't posted in the last couple of days, because, frankly, I'm not interested in saving the marriage anymore.

Over the last week, I'd noticed that OW was visiting her husband and daughter more (they are neighbors). The OW's husband and I have become good friends, and I used to talk to him daily, but haven't talked to him in about a month.

It feels so strange, because I spent thousands of hours hoping that this would happen. Now I don't care.

WH dropped off another letter Friday, but I have been throwing them away without reading them. Saturday he came by and wanted to know if I would take him back. So I knew something was up, and talked to OW's husband. Seems they are patching things up. They were together for 16 years before the affair, and the Harley's predicted it right. She went back to the family.

As for me, I'm done with him. I would have forgiven the affair, and really feel no anger towards him, just a complete lack of respect.

Just wanted to give an update to encourage others. I really thought that they WERE soulmates - but it seems it was just an affair that lasted longer than usual.

WOW!!!

My goodness, believer!

I believe you're right, it does end. But I do know of so many now like you who've had it and don't want the WS back at this point.

Soulmates, though? I don't believe in such a thing, unless there are potentially hundreds of millions of them for each of us. The concept must be cheapened so, because it is such a cheap excuse.

Jack218 coined the term "@$$holemates" some years ago, which I think is more accurate.

best. You deserve it!
-ol' 2long

2long -

I still have a lot of hope for your situation because your wife has stayed around. I tossed WH out on D-day (didn't know about MB then) and he basically cut me out of his life. It's been 3 years, and I've spent about 8 hours with him. In that time, he has only given me about $50. He has fought any kind of D settlement.

I was forced to get my own life, and did that. When I look back, I think he did me a favor.

Believer, I can not believe it. you said this almost always happens. it is so funny how it almost always is textbook. I know it has to be frustrating in so many ways though. I am amazed. You have been such a blessing to me. I know you are so strong and this will just make you stronger. I hate to say this but I think I will feel like having an 'I told you so" attitude. I am really mean at times.

Post deleted by eav1967

Julieco -

It just goes to show you how right the MB program is. To tell you the truth, I didn't think it would happen in my case. I thought the infidels would ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

But thanks to the folks here, I didn't continue wallowing in the mud. I made a good life for myself, and am not willing to give that up. If my WH had made any effort at all, I think I would have taken him back. But the loss of respect for a husband is a killer for me.

Believer, This really blows my mind. How after all of this could he ask you to take him back? I guess it is just all about them.

Eav -

I completely gave up. The affair has been going on for 3 years and 2 months. They lived together for 3 years. The OW gave up her 12 year old daughter to live with my WH. Her husband said he would never take her back.

It just goes to show you that the MB program works - many others before us have been through this, and the Harley's have a good idea how things go.

Well, I guess we knew it was coming and I am not surprised at your reaction at all. Why would he even think you would take him back after the way he treated you and spent all that money? Did you give OWH the link to MB or His Needs/Her Needs?

Wow Believer,
What exactly did he say, and what did you say. We need details here....

FF/Julieco -

Well, after I found MB, I always told him I wanted to save the marriage, and would do whatever it took. We raised 8 children together. I thought we were best friends.

He thought he found his "soulmate" and was willing to give everything up for her. And he did.

He has been calling me constantly, crying, begging - you know the drill - doing the same things that I used to do.

Ladysheep - Since I'd given up, I didn't really think that there was anything going on with the OW. But she has been around her husband and daughter's home for several days which is unusual. Since she left, she has only spent about an hour a week with her daughter.

Then Friday, WH left another letter, which is normal for him. But I threw it in the trash. I stopped reading them, because they all said the same thing.

Saturday, he showed up at my door at 6:00 AM, crying and begging, saying he made the biggest mistake of his life.

You are "solid as a rock". He missed out on a real blessing with you and forgive me for saying that I hope for a while he feels the consequences for what he did. After he feels the pain I hope he moves on and allows you the happiness you so deserve.

You must have been shocked!!

believer, I am getting vicarious happiness at reading this post of yours.
gloat, gloat, smirk. You have a life. and Your WH has - 3 years down the drain.

Believer, I'm not surprised a bit.

I'm sure my ex's affair (now marriage) will survive.

See? Everyone thinks their situation is different, and not just the WS. I'm not just saying it. I honestly think my ex's M to her AP will last a long time.

Thanks for stickin' around here, believer. You're swell.

I have to admit I'm curious about what your WH might have said.

GC

3 yrs down the drain, a wife and 8 children gone. Wow....I wouldn't want to feel his feelings right now...no thankyou. Awe...so much loss...poor thing!

Sorry believer I'm not supposed to gloat when someone gets what they deserve or when we see the vengeance due someone.

It must have thrown you for a loop for a minute though, and I know you can't help but feel a little sad hoping you had the respect and love left for him. But it's gone and that's okay.
You are a strong lady, and you only deserve the best.

Lady

LS - The kids are 2 mine, 4 his, and his two step-kids. But this whole thing was devastating to our family. His kids were like my own.

In the fall-out from the affair, he has no relationship with my boys. I have no relationship with 2 of his daughters. I have a good relationship with his son and his 2 step-daughters.

I only have contact with 2 of my grandchildren. I haven't seen the other 6 in 2 years. His sister and I used to be best friends. That ended.