Yea that e-mail was received about 2 months after d/d. The OW decided to list what she thought were all my faults. For someone who had never met me (I didn't meet her until 3 years later in court - never had to talk to her face to face).

She listed several things that were 'apparently wrong with me'. She accused me of 'abandoning my child', abusing my H, being he cause of his business failing, having an A w/FIL, being a lesbian, stealing from work, turning H's family and friends against him.....etc. The list was long. After the shock wore off, I forwarded that letter to the WS and told him what of these things did he tell her? She had heard some stuff from him and decided to embellish it with her accusations. Seems that my long working hours, devoted faith, spending time with relatives and friends, made me be all those horrible things and then some..... well I told the WS if 'his friend' could tell I was that bad...SOMEBODY had better turn me in and quick. LOL!!! Needless to say, that ended the subject and now I turned the tables on Ms. babblemouth. She now had put her foot in her mouth and given herself a reputation of being an OW and a liar. I had it in writing. LOL!!!!

The funny part was the more she tried to make me look bad and make herself look good (yea, she tried to say how she was going to make the WS happier, healthier and wealthier than he had ever been with his family)....the more it backfired. I decided I wanted to recover the lost $$ for time and effort spent plus lost funds due to this A. Came up with a nice figure close to 100K. That was dropped down from the inital figure of his family being valued by the WS as 'priceless', then $1 million......then down to $87K....etc. Yea.....the OW just couldn't pay up. I asked. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

Wow, Orchid. She definately sounds disturbed, to say the least! Where ever did he find this woman?

Well, I have to say, your stories make me laugh! It's nice to see that the humor can be kept thru times like these! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thankyou for sharing, and feel free to share anytime! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Well at least you're reading. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Yea, my humor has been a life saver and a good teacher.

Where did he find her? Hm.... try places like: Adultfriendfinders.com or some place like that.

As for disturbed, that OW 'earned' the nickname: PBR - psycho babble rabbit. LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

Tooo funny, Orchid!

I do love your gift of reverse babble! I'm sure the OW has been caught several times with the ol' "deer in the headlights" look on her face! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I bet she didn't know what she was getting into, when she came up against you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well, keep up the good work! Sounds like you've got this down to a science, as far as reversing the spotlight of ignorance onto where it belongs! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> (On the PBR!!) LOL!

big giant deep sigh! Ok so being on the very big roller coster daily up and downs we come to today. The kids are at my mom's overnight so we can have some time together....my mom has no clue as to what has been going on. WL against his will <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> finally gave me the password and together we went thru them. It was not as bad as i had imagined, but not as innocent as he did either. So here we are...what bugs me is that what makes me feel good and a step forward makes him feel bad and sick. So a couple of questions now.

I found her phone # and I think i should contact her boyfriend....
WL thinks that this is her duty and that nothing should be said by us...because it was "just" an online friendship and not a PA

so all you experts what should we do?

my other question is this...now that i am enlightend about their relationship what do i do now...i think that i will have some things come back to bother me but I really dont want to use them as a weapon which i admit i have done....how can i address my hurts and worries and concerns to WL without him feeling guilty sick and defensive...i am not sure there is a way for me to do that...

another question...WL is not overtly religious...so what can he do about forgiving himself...i think that it is really important for us to recover for him to forgive himself too. Is there another way other than GOD?

So tonight that is all thanks for the love and support and for not giving up even when i am being a whiny butt.

WL is feeling pretty beat up and does not want to post tonight...

Well, I think that by WL finally allowing the password and going over the e-mails together, shows that he wants this to work, and is willing to do what it takes, to help you to feel better. Try to remember this, whenever you start to feel the need to use it as a weapon. You said it made him feel bad and sick, but yet, he did it. And he did it for you.

You sound better. I'm glad for this. Maybe this was a break thru for you both. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

As far as contacting her BF, I will let the others answer this one. They have the wisdom concerning this issue.

You said that WL isn't overly religious. Does he believe in God, at all? Just curious. It only takes a mustardseed of faith, ya' know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Just consider this latest move as a blessing, LT. With many more to come. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Take Care...Jennifer

PS...ENJOY your time alone together!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

LT,

Here's where u 2 have it backwards..... the right way is for him to help you over this hump and meet your needs. I'll bet reassurance is at the top of your priorities and not just 1 time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> It's a biggie 4 me 2!

The Xws w/b tired. He s/b. That was a blow to the WS side of his character to give you the password the watch you blow by blow blast his A out of the water and onto dry land to be shriveled up.

Your mystery window of wondering 'what if.....' has also come to a close. For now you realize that A wasn't as big and bad as your imagination had led you. You are quite fortunate since for many it is worse than imagined.

What t/d?

Well u 2 need some recuperative time. Tomrrow....no A talk. You will have to suck it up a bit. The Xws needs some healing time. U C, the WS is still trying to hang onto what is left of it's (yea, the WS is an IT) life..... your H is gaining more strength but patience is required to survive 'it'.

Spend tomorrow doing something you both used to like t/d. Something simple, fun or crazy.....just don't make the evening news, ok? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Hugz 2 u both,
L.

Hey, you 2...let us know how things are going. Hope you are enjoying your "alone" time together! We'll be waiting to hear from you both!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Orchid, I could use your help on Nkay's thread. I'm not sure I'm the right one to advise her on the next steps concerning her latest development! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Could ya' take a peek? Thanks...Jennifer