Hurting,

I think Jean gave you some excellent advice on how to communcate through that with your DS.

Hurting... he's not going anywhere because WH is not available to care for him all week. But he does need to sort through his feelings. He's being pulled. It's sad.
You are now seeing how it's effecting him.

And yes I believe WH may be intentionally trying to make you feel "threatened" by it. But don't be.

Lady

Jean,

Thank you for the advice. I will take heed to it. I didn't have much time to talk to DS last night because WH dropped him off late right before i had to go to work. I came home on my 30 min break but he was already in bed so I didn't get to say much. I did tell him I would not allow him to move with WH because of OW. But we agreed to talk about this today after school.

Cherished,

All of the finanacial and asset stuff is taken care of.

Lady,

I hear hat your saying about DS being pulld and sad. I wish I knew what to do about it. I am going to talk to him and hopefuly get all of thi out in the open.

I think WH is starting to see just what he is going to loose and is getting scared. When he dropped DS off last night I heard them and met DS at the door. WH saw me standing there and just sat there without leaving, it was like he was waiting to see if I was going to say or do something. He didn't pull away until I had closed the door. He also had OW'S, DD with him. It has gotten to the point he is never without OW or her DD when he has to come by here for the kids. Its like someone else has to be with him to keep an eye on things.

Hurting

bumping for some more input

I have an appointment wih my attorney at 11 am tomorrow.....

Need to get things set up for incase...... Will let you all know what he says ...


Hurting

Hurting, I wish you the best tomorrow. I know this is frightening for you, but realisically, you know that this wouldn't even be possible, under the circumstances, even if you WANTED this to happen. You just can't take a kid on the road. And I very seriously doubt, your DS will want to spend all his time with the OW!! Wasn't it your DS who was there, when she had a fit about money being spent on something other than a ring on her finger? If I remember correctly, your DS wasn't too impressed by that!

Anyway, I truly believe this is ALL in your favor. And it's pretty sad, when a parent will use their own child as a tool or a weapon, to get even with someone, or to hurt someone.

I'll pray about this, and just know, that God is with you, the whole step of the way! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Take Care...Jennifer

jennifer,

I know it will never happen as o judge in his right mind woould allow it.
I just can't believe that WH would expect his child to live with his mistress like its no big deal.

I did find out that WH made the weekend fun.

He allowed my 15 year old son drive his car with the OW'S 14 year old daughter riding shotgun by themselves while he and OW stayed home.... Now my son does know how to drive but he is 15 and has no licsense or anything. DS said but mom its a small town it was ok.... I told him no it was not ok its against the law and if you had been stopped your dad would be in big trouble right now....

So see WH was maing the weekend fun and games and who knows what kinda subtle messages were sent to DS.

So tomorrow my attorney will be advised of all of this stuff. Talk about being a irresposible parent. I am busting my butt with two jobs trying to do the right thing and WH is being stupid.....



Hurting

Hurting - My secretary at work was off today. She and her 15 year old went to a funeral. Over the weekend her daughter's classmate (15) took the family car on a drive with his best friend, his 10 year old brother, and his friend's little brother. He ran into a tree. His friend, his brother and friend's brother all were killed. He didn't make the funeral - he is locked up in juvenile hall.

Dang,

I posted to you but lost it somehow. LOL.

Anyway, I think you did great in court. You are awesome.

As far as DS living with WS. NOT.

Your WS is still so far in the fog that he is using the path of least resistance to get to you, and that is child support.

I can understand how your DS feels about your DD. I would have shown that girl the door awhile ago. I say this because I have been there, Oklahoma.

As I have said before, your DD is immature and doing whatever she can to play both sides against the middle so she can have her own way. Time for her to grow up. I had to literally pry my DS fingers off the door jam to get him out. Drugs, and putting the rest of family in danger with his habits. It was the best thing I ever did, and it was very hard because I loved him so much and he had suffered so much, but ya know, he took advantage of that. Tough love worked out. He had to go to prison after he was booted, but he is on a good path now.

It is hard Oklahoma, but sometimes you gotta not spare the rod.

As for DS, WS is trying to get him so he won't have to pay child support. Selfish, yes. Foggy, yes.

You do what is healthiest for your family. Step back, think about it, and do what is best.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

MissM and Believer,

Things have come to a head with DD, I told her tonight she has to leave. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. She has been allowing the kids I found living in my shed to come in the house while I am at work. They have been eating my food and everything.

I know this is about WH not wanting to pay. I mean when he filed for divorce he did not even go for shared custody now he is doing all he can to get DS to move in with him.... I will not allow that to happen, it will be over my dead body that my son will live with that WH*RE and a fogged out WS who has about as much sense as a piss ant right now....

I am so angry and hurt by all of this crap I can't see straight anymore. Its like they have devised a plan to drive me crazy. I am trying to stay one step ahead and they just keep coming...... It has to come to and end soon it just has to .


Hurting

I am sorry to hear this but 'tough love' is not easy. What it really sad is how the WS is manipulating his own children against you for his benefit.

You do what you must. We respect it and in time so will your children. Have you let your Ods know what is going on so he can talk with his siblings?

L.

Orchid,

I have not spoken to ODS in a few days. I have not told him amything that has gone on in the last few days.

Him talking to YDS might be something good but talking to DD w on't do any good she won't listen to him.

DD came to me in tears apologizing and all last night but it is going to do her no good as well. I just can;t keep allowing this stuff to happen. She is going to have to live with the consequences of her actions.

This is all going to be like a bad dream someday, and I for one can't wait for it to be like that.


Hurting

((((( Hurting )))))

I feel for you. My family had to do the same thing to my niece. For a lot of the same reasons. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

The good news is that after bouncing around living arrangements for a few months she finally "got it" and started pulling herself together.

She now has a full time job (McD's) and her own place. Struggling, but now moving forward.

BTW: Great job at court! You are one strong lady! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Stay Strong!

Walking ,

Thank you for the kind words. I was surprised at myself for keeping it together during the mediation. There were a few times my anger came to the surface and I almost exploded but I stopped myself before I blew it. Man it was hard to stay calm and collect.

He would have deserved the anger but I knew it would hurt me more than help for sure.

As for DD I know what I have to do and it hurts but she had to be responsible for her actions, because if not this crap will continue until it really gets so far out of control who knows what would happen.

Hurting

I am sorry to hear about the situation with your DD. I can't imagine how exhausted you must be. I just want to shake your whole family and say "Does this woman have DOORMAT written across her forehead !"

Focus on you and DS now, your DD will come around, but you do not have to keep putting up with her manipulations.

((Hurting))

Jean,

I am with you on that one I want to shake the crap out of them all from the biggest to the littlest. It is getting tiring , I just feel like packing myself and DS up and leaving with no forwarding address.

Thats one reason I am planning this weekend trip for DS and I in a few weeks. I just need to get away from here and have fun and not think about this stuff anymore.

I did ask DS if he wanted to take a friend with us since I don't really do rollercoasters or any ride like that but he said no. He just wants it to be him and I. It made me feel good that he wants to spend this time alone with me. So for him I will try and hold my fear inside and ride a rollercoaster with him. They scare the crap outta me but I guess it can't be no worse than the one i have been riding now for the last 8 months or so.


Hurting

it can't be no worse than the one i have been riding now for the last 8 months or so


Man, ain't that the truth!!!!

You have gone through 7 stages of heck, and you are surviving...better than surviving, you are THRIVING!!!

Still,

Thanks so much and your right I am thriving.... I am making it all by myself and doing great.....

Hurting

I talked to my attorney today and I feel so much better. I am not so sure about posting some of what was said due to the chance OW might be reading this. As i still have that feeling.

But sufice it to say I am not as concerned as I was about DS and all of this.

Once a few things have been taken care of I will post the info. But for now its better kept to myself and not a public forum with risk of being seen by prying eyes.

Hurting

So glad you are feeling better about things, Hurting.

Let us know when you can!

Alph.

Glad the attorney gave you one less thing to worry about!