I just read this, written my Dr. Harley, and it, of course better than I, explains why I was concerned about how you interacted with your WH regarding the tax money...

Steve, recommended that you PLAN A him when you see him, right? According to this that means, NO DISRESPECT AND NO DEMANDS...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hi Hurting,

((((((((((((((((HURTING)))))))))))))))))

Mimi,

so far I have heard nothing from him regarding the tax refund. Not a time or anything to meet at the bank.

I just want to cash the check and go on my merry way. I will be pleasant and get my half of it and be on my way. The only thing I will remind him of is the paying half for DS'S drivers ed. as he did say he would pay half.

Just gonna geter done and move on....

No DJ'S or LB'S from me ...... Just a happy go lucky wife will be at the bank saturday. Then back to my life for me and him to his with OW for however long that may be.....

Hurting

Hi Healing. You really sound great these days. I am thinking that having DS with your CH may make him miss being a part of the family. Sometimes something like that jars them into reality... sometimes... hoping and crossing my fingers but you know what.....

You are going to be fine

either way !!!

Your friend, carnation

Carnation,
Hello to you. Long time no speak.

As far as amking WH miss the fmily thing I am not so sure about. In my conversation with DS yesterday he mentioned again something about living with his dad. So I believe WH is working on him this week to move in with him and the bimbo.

Of course that will never happen, I will make sure of that. It will be over my dead body that will ever happen. So who knows what is going on in his fogged brain. Guess he figures he c an get DS in their pig=sty that will make everything right and normal... Nope not happening thats for sure..... I will fight with everything i have to prevent it...This is my child I gave birth to and have raised pretty much alone since he was on the road all those years of DS'S young life. S he better be prepared to fight hard if he wants him cause I got my Momma Tiger cloak on and he has seen nothing yet.....


Hurting

Wow! Hurting you go on! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I hope this does not get down to some big fight, and that you are able to protect DS from the WH!

Affais are not normal, just because they happen <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />! People who actively participate in them should not be allowed to foget that what they are engaged in is destructive! WE may not be able to convince the affairies to stop their destructive bahaivor but we certainly do not have to accept it and pretend it is ok, just because some time has passed!

Best,
Daisy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hey Hurtin',

Howa' doing? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

Orchid,

I am doing ok.... Very quiet here......

DS is home from his week on the road wth his dad..

WH dropped him off tonight on his way through towen to pick up the bimbo to make his last run of the week.... At least he had enough sense to drop DS off and not allow him ot be around her..

But all in all things are good ... For now anyway


Hurting

Thanks for checking on me

((( Healing )))

Is today $$$ day ??? Good luck with seeing WH at the bank and

have fun spending all that $$$ !!!!

Your friend, Carnation

Carnation,

Nope its not $$$ day. He had to make a run ot texas somewhere and won't be here in time before the bank closes. So it looks like its gonna be monday.

He dropped DS at my job last night and picked up OW and went on to texas. So thats were i am now.

Hurting

Hi Hurting,

I've been gone for a while. I went in for emergency surgery Mon. (The previous 2 surgery dates had been canceled due to my chest pain and then Feb 22 was canceled due to a problem with Dr's. schedule). So now I ended up in really bad shape by Sun, I hemoraged, and by Mon I could barely walk. I had to have 6 units of blood (blood transfusion) before surgery was done Tues night. It was terrible. But I'm glad it's over. He did hysterectomy, and had to remove 1 ovary and 1 tube. Thankfully I got 1 good ovary left. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hope all is well with you. You are a good person, and the Lord is going to bless you beyond what you could ever comprehend, with or without WH. The Lord has brought you so far already. You are a walking miracle in the hand of God. I see it, and I'm sure many others here do to.
Continue to trust Him for all you need and all you are. He will never disappoint you.

The Lord bless you and keep you in His loving care.

Lady

Sheesh Ladysheep, so glad to hear that you are OK now. That sounds like quite an ordeal! I'll be praying for your speedy recovery.

Hi Hurting!!

lady,

I am so sorry things went the way it did but I am so glad you are fine. God was watching over you for sure.

I don't know so much about being a walking miracle but God has pulled me through some very rough days and nights and I thank him with all that I am. I know I am going to be ok in my life, I will be happy again and I am already walikng down that path.

Again Thank you for all the prayers and support...


Hiya Jean ......


Hurting

Hi everyone,

I am just checking in to let everyone know I am doing ok. Nothing happening here, all is quiet on the western front. lol


Hurting

Good.

Hug your kids 4 us ok? I'm starting to feel like their Hawaiian Auntie. LOL!!! That's what the kids call all their parents friends out here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Aloha,
L.

orchid,

Will do ..... and I am sure they would love to have a Hawaiian Auntie..... lol

Hurting

Hurting-
Glad you are doing well and staying so strong.
I am trying my best, but it's tough- especially the
weekend. Also feeling kind of alone, as one of my
good friends is out of town for a few days, and the
other getting ready to go out of town for two months !

Am doing some things around the house today- like
laundry and getting the tax paperwork together.
Later, I plan on a manicure and watching a movie.
WH hasn't moved out yet, but has been gone most of the
weekend- either working on the new house, or with OW.

Thinking of you-
Slammed

Slammed,

I know the weekends are hard and even harder knowing that WH is spending time with the OW.

In time things will get easier for you. I know they have for me. I don't obesess over it near as much anymore. Its just anoher part of the journey we are on.

Keep working on you and getting stronger. Your in my prayers.


Hurting

Well we met at the bank and here is what happend...

We had a big blow out in the parking lot.

This is gonna be long so be patient.....

We get to the bank and go in and everything was ok. So I told the the teller we needed to cash this check and split it equal. Patrick says no I don't want it split equal. I said what do you mean by that? He said we will talk about it outside. So since we don't have a joint account we both had to put our fingerprint and ID information on the check. He then says bab how come we got less than expected I told him bcause they too 571.00 and paid the state of Ok. the back taxes. He said oh ok.

So anyhow they cashed the check and I had the whole thing in my hand. We walked outsdie and I said what to you want ot talk about? He said I want 3000.00 of this money. I said nope you are not getting it. We are splitting it down th middle. He said w ell I think I deserve 3000.00 of it since I have to pay both lawyers. I said to bad you agreed to that. He got very angry and started screaming at me and i stayed calm, I finally got al ittle bit angry and told him you know what I don't care wha you think anymore but you are not getting 3000.00 so f orget it. I said if I had not agreed to file with you you would not be getting what you are. He said well you would not either, I said I know that but it would not have bothered me.

So he said well then I am not gonna pay your attorney I told him whatever WH. He said here we go again me getting F'ed over. I said excuse me who got F'ed over here. I am the one who got left and had no money to live on while you went your merry way with your bimbo. He said she isn't a bimbo I said think what you want.

He said you know BS I have not seen any changes in you at all. I said well thats your perception of things but of course your not around to see anything. He then said you know every since your father died its been this way. I told him I was tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. I said I have changed whether you see it or not. I have two jobs and am working my butt off. He said you should have gotten a job ;long time ago. I said maybe so but you should have talked to me. He said I did tell you how I was feeling. I said your a liar you never said anything. I said it really does not matter anymore because i am to the point I don't care what you think.

He said the house was a wreck last time I was there. I said I know that but I had just gotten the new furniture and things were not put back yet. He said what about the mess from the fire. I said I have cleaned it the best I can. I can't help smoke damage is still there. I said not only that I work all the tie so I don't have much time to do much. He said thats not my problem, I said I didn't say it was and I am not complaining I an just telling you how it is. So here again justifying his affair was his biggest concern.

So anyhow he started again about wanting 3000.00 so I said nothing and counted out his half of the money and gave it to him. He got so pissed that he threw the money into my c ar and walked off. He said fine I will c all the law and tell them you cashed the check and stole my money. I laughed and said go ahead, seeing how the bank teller saw us both and you signed and put our finger print on the check I don't think you'll get far. He turned around looked at me and said nothing. So I calmly took the money from the car and handed it to him.

he then started again about how he is moving on with his life and how he wants nothing from me ever again. I said thats funny Patrick you sure wanted something a couple sundays ago. I said I wonder how your bimbo would feel about it. He said I would just deny it. I said I know so that why it isn't worth me saying anything but I know the truth so thats good enough for me. Anyhow he kept on and on and I kinda lost my temper and said you know what I have done nothing but be gracious threw this hole ordeal and all you have d one is screw me over, well that is done now, I am not backing down from you. He gets this funny little smile on his face and turns away.

I said and by the way this crap of your bimbo not wanting us to speak is laughable. As we have kids and grandkids so it ain't gonna happen. He says she knows this and yes she does not want me to talk to you. I just laughed. So as he walked to his car he said well I am going to see my attorney right now. I said go ahead I really don't care.

He said you know BS I tried to make this work and you just would not listen. I told him think what you want but you never said anything to me in a way I knew what you were talking about. You always used hints I am not a mind reader.
I said these things that are happening and you percieved being screwed over are all consquences of your actions not mine. You chose to have an affair, you chose to leave your family and leave us with nothing. So now its time for you to accept whatever consequeces that come along. With that I got in my car and left.

I know maybe I handleed some things wrong but I did not give in or back down from him. So needless to say he is very pissed and wants nothing to do with me ...... Well so be it......

He just called and we talked he apologized for getting angry and said he was sorry.

He said I wanted the extra money to buy DS some clothes and stuff. I said why didn't you say that. He said I didn't know how you would take it. I said WH he is our son thats crazy of course Iwould have understood but I had already planned on getting him some clothes so it will all work out.

So we talked about my job and i was saying how much I loved my job and was happy here. He said thats good BS I am happy you like it.

I said yeah I have to start packing stuff as we have to move in the next rwo months , he said I know I am looking for me a place to. I said really he said yeah I don't know if OW and i are going to work out. I said well nothing in life is guarenteed as we well know. He said well I have to move on with my life I said yup me to.

I said I have to find a place that will allow th dogs. He said well you know i am getting two of them. I said nope I don't think so. He said why not I said because your not. He laughed and said we will see, I said yup we sure will. He said w can talk about this later.

Anyway just a little more chit chat and he said oh yeah I have a bone to pick with you. I said what now, he says this letter from your attorney about DS spending the night and driving the car. I said what about it, he said you agreed to let DS stay, I said I know I did but I told DS then it was the only time. He said BS I don't understand why, I said because Patrick no matter what DS does not need to see you weith another woman as we are still married whether you like it or not.

He says well DS says he is ok with it. I said WH what do you think he is gonna say your his father and he loves you. He said has he told you something different. I said he had before but not recently. I said you know Patrick even if th kids won't tell you how they feel I know how they feel. I remember when my parents divorced and how hard it was to see them with other people but as a kid you stay quiet so you don't loose the love of your parent. It w as not until I was an adult I finally said how I felt to my parents. They had no idea how i truly felt because of fear of loosing them. He got very quiet and said nothing more.

He said well about DS driving the car he only went to the store down the street, I said DS it does not matter what if something would have happened. He said but it didn't I said well thats good but I will tell you this I did what I had to do to protect DS and I guess in my own way you as well. He said how is that, I said if something had happened were would you be right now? He said I see your point.

So anyhow things ended on a good note... He said well I will talk to you later i have to go pay some bills.....

So an apology for being an [censored] , how galant of him.......


Hurting

Wow, what a day !!! Glad you stood your ground. It still sounds like he is coming out of the fog, does it to you ? His mentioning about him and OW might not work out....

Enjoy spending your $$$ you deserve it !!!

How do you feel ???

Your friend, carnation