<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Today is my DD 11th birthday. WH took off from work and kept her out of school the the 2 of them could have a special day together. Aaaah...isn't he so nice? My son is also home from school sick with mono and strepp. I took DS for blood work this morning then I had to go to work. I feel bad leaving him home sick...but knowing WH was off today I felt a little better.

I called WH on my way to work to let him know DS was home from lab work (he had taken DD out to breakfast) his cell is turned off. You have a sick kid at home and turn your phone off? I called DS around 2:30 to see how he was feeling. He was fine but had not seen or heard for WH all day. WTF?!

Soon after I get a call from my DD on WH's cell. They are in a pet store in PA (we live in NJ). She had asked for a hamster I had told her before NO...we already have 1 dog, 2 cats and 2 birds. We don't need another pet to take care of. She then asked for a turtle I said yes thinking of the little turtle I had when I was a kid and its a low maintaince pet. Well you can't but them in NJ so thats why they were in PA the one she wanted was $199.99. I said that was too much for a turtle. I asked to speak to WH I asked "what are you thinking?" Well you said she could have a turtle...hamsters are on $10 but YOU won't let her have one. So this was all about making me the bad guy being the one to set limits and say no.

Then I get a message at work "Mommy we are on our way back to the pet store its between a turtle and hamster. See you later."

I get home from work wrap her presents its 6 PM. I don't hear anything we call his cell no answer. We call BIL house he is there picking up my 2 nieces to bring them down. AND they already ate. HELLO...special birthday dinner...how about a phone call?

He is following the script so well...pushing all the buttons..I am so angry at his inconsiderate behavior to me, my son and for not being a parent and reinforcing limits w/ my daughter. WHO IS THIS GUY? Buying love from DD? Selfish, inconsiderate *&^%@ alien!!!

He is making it easier to fill out the divorce papers.

I can't wait til he goes to Puerto Rico Monday! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the vent...It helped so much. It helped me see his fogged WH behavior continues and I will not allow him to push my buttons.

They came home with a lizzard! and about $200 in aquarium equipment.

I am back on track...I know what I need to do. I thank God I have a place to vent.

Confused -

I just have to say ARGH!!! You hang tough!!!!

Kim

Hopefully the lizard won't get sick. My son had a $200. chameleon who lost the spring in his tongue. The vet bill was $150. to wind up the tongue and stick it back in his mouth. He ended up swallowing his tongue and dying - the lizard, not the vet.

He sounds like a game player. He should know that the two of you need to be on the same page in order to co-parent your children.

I'm sorry is so insensitive to you, and making you out to be the bad guy, when really, it sounds like you're the more practicle and responsible one of the two of you.

Believe it or not, Confused, deep down, your children KNOW who they can depend on, and who they're most secure with. You can't buy love.

Fun burns out...Love is FOREVER!!

Take Care...Jennifer

Thanks Jen, I believe that. I learned that lesson from my Mom. I remember when I was a young teenager I wanted my mom to treat me like a friend. I had a friend who's mom shared her clothes and hung out with us like one of the gang...at the time I thought it was cool! My Mom was so not cool. She even said to me one time "You'll have lots of friends during your life but only ONE mom...I"m your Mom." At the time I was hurt she didn't want to be my friend...but she is a great mom...I might not like what she has to say all the time but she still is ALWAYS there for me.

When I worked in child pysch I used the same philosophy. Some of the staff would try and be friend the kids and in turn be manipulated by them. I would set limits and give praise when appropriate and provide opportunities for them to problem solve on their own, earn respect and be a kid. In turn if they had a bad session or arguement w/ parent it was me they sought out to talk to. And if they had a good session or a good grade it was me they sought out.

I parent my kids the same way...we do have fun together...but I am definitely the Mom. They know how much joy they give me but they have no idea how much strength they give me.

Gotta go finish baking DD birthday cake...we're having a sleepover tonight...6 10-11 year old girls. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Believer,

I am sorry for your family and the lizard but I must say this story made laugh when you wrote: "He ended up swallowing his tongue and dying - the lizard, not the vet." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Ok C42,
So you can see the WS is still displaying Ws traits. Your son is sick but he has to concentrate on making you look bad? Hm.... play that one in his ear. He probably won't be able to handle it.

So I'm with U..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Arrrgh <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

L.

My son had a $200. chameleon who lost the spring in his tongue. The vet bill was $150. to wind up the tongue and stick it back in his mouth. He ended up swallowing his tongue and dying - the lizard, not the vet.

~*~*~*~ Cherry 7up Spew~*~*~~*~*

ROFLMAO...

This is cracking me up...I am going to have to back away from the computer... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

committed

Committedandlovi-

If you think that is funny, you should check out CarenMc's thread, titled, "Hey Orchid, tell me a story"! Now that won't only make you back away from your computer, you'll have to keep from wetting your pants and swallowing YOUR tongue!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Confused, it sounds like you know your stuff, when it comes to the kids! When I tell my kids something they don't want to hear, I just tell them, "I'm not here to be popular! Just to be a Mom!" And that's what they actually expect from me now, (whether they know it or not!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

believer <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />!

Thanks for the laugh! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I so needed it......LMAO!!!

You just keep them coming <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />...

Daisy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

LOL ! Hysterical. This kinda [censored] you just can't make up!

hahahaha

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I think it is the WS who lost the spring in his tongue and you ought to send the WS the vet bill. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

C42,

How are you doing?

L.

LOL! Maybe my WH will swollow his tongue! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
DD had a blast with her friends last night, playing "American Idol" They took turns being the judges...great impressions of Simon, Paula and Randy...that was the favorite part. Everyone progressed to Hollywood!!

My parents came down for ice cream and cake. (the cake turned out very well BTW <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />) They have a hard time being in the same room with WH. He was once the favorite SIL. My parents feel hurt and betrayed as well, he can't even look them in the eye! They stayed long enough to watch her open presents and eat cake and then left.

BIL & SIL came down to collect their kids. WH wouldn't leave me and SIL alone for 2 minutes...guess he doesn't want us talking...oops too late!

After the girls settled down. WH asked if I wanted to watch a video w/him we watched "Legend of Zorro" the movie seemed very long. After the movie was over I said good night and went up to take a shower. When I get out of shower he is in bed reading. Then the lights go out he wants SF. This guy is too much! I thought he had enough cake at the party! Guess he still felt like cake eating. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

((((((c42)))))))

I hope you're not too sleep deprived. I always have a hard time recovering from my kids' sleepovers. I'm supposing that CH wasn't too much help with the whole thing.

I'm doing pretty well this AM. The girls were conked out by 12 midnight.

CH/WH actually was helpful...not with the cleaning before hand...but with getting the pizza, scooping the icecream and playing with the girls. He got up this morning and made BIG birthday breakfast...homemade hashbrowns, bacon, pancakes, fried egg sandwichs...of course since he cooked, I clean.

He loves being a "family man" thats why this whole thing is just NUTS!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Now might be a good time to find out what he thought about his family after the events this weekend. Then let him know, this is what he w/b choosing to miss out on and more.

Then walk away. Let that loss of family line sink through the fog and into his REAL brain. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

RB @ it's finest!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />


L.

WH left for Puerto Rico today. He was home when the kids got home from school so they got to say goodbye. His flight was delayed and called to let us know but I had to stop by the food store on my way home from work and wasn't home for his call. 10 minutes later he called my cell, to let me know about the delay. We talked for 20 minutes...which is 19 minutes longer than our usual conversation.

More crumbs...I am still proceeding.

WH has been in Puerto Rico since Monday night. Last night he called and talked to the kids but not to me. Tonight he called talked to the kids and then me. It was like pulling teeth...back to the 1-2 word answers...a lot of dead air. DD was standing next to me so I just made up an excuse to get off the phone.

He is due to return Friday night which he is usually really tired and falls asleep as soon as he gets home. Saturday night he told me has plans to go out with friends. (The friends he intends to go out with are single and he usually gets totally drunk with them. Like he's in college.) Sunday he plans to work on the attic. So I can tell all ready he is figuring ways to avoid me. There are things we need to settle. WH would go on like this forever I think.
The proposed email:


I'm torn about sending it ...if I send it he could be defensive and even more guarded. (hard to believe thats possible!)...if I don't I feel he will throw crumbs and keep me at arms length and this will drag out forever.