I thought I posted last night, but it shut down and I guess it did not go through....<P>Quickly, I think I'm liking shark lady.<P>Dry your eyes, square your shoulders, you deserve respect.<P>Who knows what H was sorry for? Interesting to find out. Could it be that he has been behaving like a big fat jerk to our friend, Sheba?<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Sheba,<P>Does your husband work for a company? Are you ready to play hardball?<P>Image. Image is all that matters. Truth is irrelevant sometimes. Just an image gets the job done.<P>Get the word out: First Name Middle Name Last Name is a deadbeat Dad. Show up unannounced where he works. Go to the payroll department with your incompetent lawyer. Demand to see how they calculate child support out of his paycheck. Raise a stink. Make sure the people in the other cubicles get hear everything and get his name and department down pat. Don't solve anything just get the gossip train rolling. It'll be all over the company. Maybe even approach the media about yet another deadbeat Dad. It's always a good story because everybody hates them.<P>That company will want this problem squashed pronto. Your husband won't wait for a court date, he will settle or his boss will settle his a** right out the d*** door.<P>So when you're ready to play hardball to get your children the care they deserve, smear that image.<P>Love and kisses,<BR>Cuckold

Oh Sheba, I wish I had the magical words to make you smile! I can't imagine how hard this must be, but you seem to be dealing with things alright. (the best that can be expected)<P>I'm glad you are getting the other lawyer. Not that you want to crush H with her, but you need to protect yourself. I'm so glad you have family that is helping you out right now. That is so important. (even mother's good intentions!)<P>The I'm sorry? I think he is realizing what he is doing to you. Maybe he is sorry his lawyer was so hard on you, but I think he maybe he is just plain sorry for being something I can't say here! I don't know, but in any case it indicates that he knows he's doing something wrong.<P>I will be thinking about you. Take care of yourself. You are always there when I need someone, and I think you are a GREAT person!<P>------------------<BR>Shoni<P><BR>

Sheba<BR>I'm glad your brother is helping you. That will take some of the load off. Hope you're feeling a bit better today.<BR>I've been thinking about the convent thing myself. I have an aunt who is a nun and have considered checking with her. I know there is a nun out here that is a grandmother. Probably a widow but I figure that's always a possibility too. Just kidding!!!!!

Isn't it soooo wild... The circumstance hasn't changed. But the support you receive from family and friends here at MB - can change your attitude immensely - and after a rough day like yesterday - you can still demonstrate the love you have for him by not requiring justice on an emotional level.<P>Your attitude and your support system are very key to how you impact your husband. Every communication with him or his family is an opportunity. Keep your vision. Keep strong. Be determined. Use all the luck you can muster (I will now view luck as no panties - CL look for hidden message when I wish someone good luck......)<P>Sheba, you are terrific. You never lose your sense of humor. And your Never's are only for a moment. You will triumph over this circumstance with flying colors. <P>New haircut, luck, great attitude, sense of humor, super wonderful family, and a cheering section at MB - GO SET THE WORLD A BLAZE!!!!!!

Sheba, God Bless you, I do not have any words of wisdom for you. However, you gave me help and support a few days ago when I needed it so badly. <P>Though you might like to know, that I stopped the e-mails and cards to him and I actually received one from him this morning. It was short, just a good morning and hope I had a good day, but it ended with "I Love You". I did not ask for it, it came on it's own, so I feel better and replied back to him, with a simple thank you, you too and ditto.<P>God is carrying us through this time of need, I know he is carrying me, I went to the Dr's last week with a lump, when we got through that day, the ultrasound showed over a dozen lumps in my breasts that even the Dr had not located. We are currently waiting on the final results of all the tests but I think God has his own plan and I am trying to leave it in his hands.<P>thank you, sheba, I am saying prayers for both of us and our families. One day we will know why all of this has taken place in our lives because I truly believe there is a purpose to all things. We just don't always find out immediately.

Sheba, <P>I've been out for a while and have been catching up on a few posts. I was very disappointed to see how things have turned sour for you. I have no advice in regards to the court thing - I can only imagine how awful that must be. Two months ago, I was at the lowest point in my life. W's affair was at its zenith and I felt everything slipping away. I felt God had abandonned me. Now, I am certain that He was the only One that was holding me at that time. What I didn't know or see at that time was that He was shaping me into the person He wanted me to be. Through adversity we are made stronger. <P>Sheba, while I know you are in severe pain right now, please be comforted by the fact that God has a wonderful plan for you and He is shaping you into the person He wants you to be. You may not know it, but I have seen a lot of growth in your words. You are growing stronger each day. I wish I could see the future for you and tell you everything will work out the way you want it to, but I can only say that it will work out the way God want's it to. He will watch over and care for you. <P>Your H has no idea what he is missing. He's missing a stronger Sheba, a more loving Sheba, and a more caring Sheba. He is sacrificing so much for forsaking you. Unless he wakes up soon, he will miss out on a very special lady. <P>My prayers are with you.<P>SHA

I'm sorry you are feeling so hurt. Try to think positively. At least your H is willing to give you financial support. There are many men who walk out and dismiss their responsibilities. Always try to keep in mind that the lord will provide and he also never gives you what you want but what you need.<P>Gather your strength and make it work for yourself. Good luck.<P>Q<P>------------------<BR>

Sheba and cl,<BR> well ladies, you managed to totally freak Bozo out with this one, he didn't read the other thread, so when he read this one this morning he spent 10 minutes trying to understand WHY cl was telling Sheba to take off her undies. It was just too tooo funny.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hi Everybody -<P>I have been busy during the day and at night - I've tried to come and thank everyone and have fallen asleep with the keyboard in my lap!!!<P>Guess all this and sleep deprivation have caught up with me.<P>Well, I got a good night's sleep and am bright-eyed and bushy tailed. So, sorry for the delay and here goes......<P>First, I want to THANK YOU all for your support, concern, laughter and tears. You are my saving grace - each and every one of you!!!!<P>Individual Notes:<P>Deb - Well, it seems that the replies start and end with you!! Thank you for the sad smiley faces - they conveyed your feelings very well!! And your last reply about Bozo made me laugh so hard!!!! You really made my day and everytime I read it I laugh just as hard, so you've provided me with something to boost me when I am down. Poor Bozo - did he read the other thread yet or did you explain it to him? I'm laughing again - see, you're amazing!!<P>Chris - As I said before - welcome back and I missed you!!! Need that humor, you know!!! Yeah, it sucks, BIGTIME!! But, we are all going to get through it and no matter the outcome - we will have learned more about ourselves and will be able to have a happier future with a lot more self-awareness.<P>WS - Thanks for talking with me through this, I really appreciate it and it helps so much. How are things with you? My family is wonderful, none of us have very much financially but we more than make up for it in support and love. My brother already has my life planned - sell the house, he'll get me a condo that takes dogs, a new car, etc. He's a riot!!!! When I was on the phone with him and he said he was going to get me what ever I need - the emotions from his love and concern were so overwhelming that I started crying... He got all twittapated and wanted to know if I wanted to talk with his GF!!! The poor guy couldn't deal with his little sister crying!!!!! It was funny!!!<P>CrazyorWhat? - Thanks for your thoughts and offer of an ear. You're so kind.<BR>I definitely need a change of attorneys and have made some progress there. As far as where their head's are --- Well, I think they've put them somewhere where the sun don't shine.....!!! LOL<P>FHL - hi there!! About the "Getting over Husband Express" - I think it ran me over!!! LOL.... I don't think you can ever realize just how much you calm me!! My eyes are dry, shoulders squared and I will get respect if I have to hit him with his own PR Stick (billyclub - he's a cop!!)...LOL Made me laugh with the big, fat, jerk!!! Thank you for calling me your friend....Thank you for being here and for being YOU!!! All set for the trip?<P>ceecee - Thanks for the reminder of God's plan and for the verse. Where did you get that verse from? I like it and it is truly fitting for what happens when I cry.....let me know, OK?<P>TNT - Hello, and welcome back! I'm sorry for all your recent family sadness and have said prayers for all. You're right in that Nothing is permanent - I think I need something to be though!!!<BR>I could not be doing as well with my sanity if it weren't for my family and all of you folks, so again - I give thanks!! Isn't CL great with her no panties luck thing!!! It worked - just not in the way I expected. The luck wasn't in court - it was with my family and you guys after!!!! Thanks for your confidence boosting - I'm not too sure about setting the world A BLAZE - left my curling iron plugged in yesterday when I went to work so about the only thing that I might set ablaze is my house!!!! LOL !!<P>EmptyShell, Enlightened and Lostva -<BR>Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Court certainly stunk and I think the worse part was that nothing of the current situation and the truth of this whole mess could be said. I guess that comes later - it better!!!<P>Shoni - Hi Honey!!! How are you doing?<BR>Thanks for being here for me and I'll have to get the Garth Brooks song - what's the name of the CD it's on? My hair came out great!!! I'm glad I cut it cuz it feels lighter and cooler!! My H's "I'm Sorry" - I think you're right that it could be for anything, but shows that he knows he's doing something wrong!!! Maybe when he figures it out he'll let me know!!!<P>Lor - Thanks for the scripture and I'm trying veeeeerrrry hard not to be discouraged... I'll get through this, I know!!! God will lead me to the outcome he has decided for me and for H.<P>T2W - Hi there!! Isn't it terrible that so many here have to go through all of this!! Some have it worse than others but none of us deserve any of it. Life would be a lot simpler and less painful if we all kept honesty in the forefront!!! Thanks for the money wish - you're powerful cuz it came through pretty quick!!!<P>Alleyoop - Hello Karen.....How are things going for you and H? Thanks for your love and concern and you are right that God will send us what we need. He sent me here to find all of you!!<P>CL - Thanks for the luck!!! Have you been busy like me lately cuz I haven't seen to much from you? As SO glad you popped up with your thoughts for me. Thank you and the money thing - it's a family hangup on his side. Very sad really!! Definitely, an escape from any real feelings and a useful bad actions cover-up!!!!<P>Hopeful - Thank you for your thoughts and offer of an ear. Isn't it wonderful to be able to have a place like this? <P>LWB - Thanks, Julie - I got the "white lights". Feel stronger and calmer already!! I've gotten a good night's sleep. Didn't use Wine though, took NyQuil the first night - does that count? LOL<P>Cuckold - Wow, now I know where to go for some Assertiveness!!!! LOL Thanks for the strategy. H is a cop and most of what he's doing is very typical in the Dept. so no-one blinks and eye!!! He is not aware of his real image only of the image he has with the other jerks who are involved with this kind of crap. I don't have to smear his image because he's doing that all by himself!!! Someday he will be confronted by it and I will not be tainted with being the cause of it. It could work out to be a very good thing!!<P>Lila - I was thinking about you and am glad to see that some things have gone well as far as H. I'm sorry to hear about these lumps and you are right that it is all in God's hands. My prayers go out that you will be fine and that God keeps you safe. There are definitely reasons for all of this. Hang in there and keep posting - we are all each other's shoulders through all of the pain and fear.<P>SHA - Thank you for your concern and kind words. You brought tears to my eyes and hope to my heart. If I recall correctly, in one of my very first posts to you , I said that your wife was a very lucky woman....I meant it then and can only reiterate it now!!! God bless you both and may He keep lighting your path with His love!!<P>Querida - Thanks and I know that there are people a lot worse off than I am. The Lord does provide in His own time and in His own way......