Play along. Be his friend but dont show him your cards.

Make sure he breaks off with gf before you even show him a hint of cards.

Flirt is good but stop if you start to feel too much emotions. If you feel vunerable then move away...spend time away from him until you feel strong again.

I too flirt with exh but when i start to "feel" then i walk away and spend time alone until i feel strong again.

You are in control of this game and dont let your guard down. As women our weakest point is our emotions. Guard that very very well.

You need to date at the same time to build your armour so you wont be vunerable to those feelings. When you are strong emotionally then you can entertain the "what ifs" without feeling confuse.

Instead of asking is there a way to protect yourself without completley turning your back on a possibility...try and THINK this = You will lose your possibility if you dont protect yourself!!! So focus on that.

Well I'm officially the OW and I am feeling no guilt. Yes, I had SF with my XH and he still has the GF. I am by no means a slut, but it didn't feel wrong and I feel very emotionally sound. It's ok I know I shall be yelled at and rightfully so, but I did it. So much for keeping my cards to myself and playing it right.

Anyway it went like this. He shows up at my house on the anniversary of the day we met 15 years ago. He apologized for everything that he put me thru. The way he talked he finally gets it. He said things that I never thought he would say. He sees everything - All the things I tried to point out when we were living it and all he wanted was out. He is living with all the regrets and is looking back. He said that he never quit having feelings for me and it scares him. He feels himself pulling away from GF and she knows that I'm the reason. So at the end of the discussion, I am feeling good. I see him interested and I haven't given away where I'm at and then he hugs me. It felt so right and then comes the kiss. WOW! Talk about opening a flood gate. Nice make-out session, but in the end I sent him home. But it was enough to make me feel things that I had hoped were dead. Over the next two days I found us "flirting" more than usual. And then it just happened. I tried to fight it, but in the end I was weak.

I let time pass and then we talked again. This time it was just talk. He feels regret over what happened between us. He doesn't like the kind of person that it makes him. He doesn't want to hurt me, but can't say for sure that he wants me or her. I know he is scared of us. so much has happened in the past and there are a lot of unknowns.

What suprises me is that I am really calm. I for once in my life realize that life will go on with him or without him. I will be ok. I somehow see this as a win-win situation for me. If he decides to say with GF, I will have been overlooked for the last time and never he will have the opportunity again. It will show me the man he is and I will have closure. I would love to have the opportunity to explore things with him and if I get he chance then one of two things will happen
-It will work out and we will be happy
-It won't work, but for once I will feel that he really looked at me and gave me a chance and it just isn't meant to be. Then I will get closure to knowing that we are just better friends and there is just too much to overcome. Then I really can let go and find Mr. Right.

It brings me great pleasure to know that I was right about GF. I know with all my heart that it will never happen there. He may end up chosing her, but he has admitted that he treats her the way he treats me and when she is complaining about it he realizes that it is him - not me. I know that he will never love her and she is not a better woman than I. They may band-aid this, but it will fail in the end. Somehow that brings me joy, even though I do want him to be happy, but i feel she had a part in breaking up our M. I guess it is just nice to know that he may of been the one that moved on and life appeared so great, but things arn't as rosy as I thought.

At this point, I am praying that the right thing happens and I can try to remain focus. In my heart, I want nothing more than the chance that I never had. There will be no more SF and in his defense I see him avoiding it to. I really don't think that he is trying to cake eat and keep me as the OW. I see him searching. So I am opening the doors for him to look. I did tell him that I was looking, but I would continue to live my life.

ok......well he's really good...he's back to eating his cake while balancing on that darn fence.....all i can say girl is tell him you need to break contact and you won't continue an affair with him. Maybe (and thats a really small maybe) if he was willing to commit to being with only you and trying at your relationship....meaning GF has to go and he has to be on his best behavior. But don't let him use you this way again. your so much better than that.

I was tempted too...many times but i always tell myself NO. So i understand. However you must stand firm...no more next time ok?

You can still be the nice OW without the intimacy. Remember men like to pursue...if you make it too easy then you aint going to win this battle.

You can drop hints that if he WANTS sex and the whole works...he must end it with OW...that is your bait so dont let it go so easily.

If oneday its all so rosy again on the other side and your ex stops contacting you then how would you feel?

I am not saying be mean to him...just show care and concern..that is enough now.

Sleeping with another while knowing that person is having a relationship is wrong...its cheating...remember YOU ARE NOT OTHER WOMAN...dont become like her...she plays dirty but you are better than her...take the higher road...put boundaries and guard your heart.