Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 72
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 72
so I am to continue plan A with him not in the house? b/c so far I havent talked to him sice he CALLED to tell me he was leaving for a while (yesterday afternoon). My gut tells me not to call b/c he will just see this as chasing him, but how do I remain "his best friend" as plan A states if I am not talking to him?

I am so worried about seeing him tonite. He is "babysitting" while I teach a class. I just cant deal with coming home late and watching him walk out the door. I almost want to have someone else there for the "swap."

Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
cant - Do you have your copy of Surviving An Affair yet?

If yes, please re-read all the information about Plan A because I don't think you got it the first read through.

If no, get a copy, and in the meantime read everything you can find on this site about Plan A.

Quote
so I am to continue plan A with him not in the house?
The technical answer is yes - until you identify and fix all your contributions to the poor pre-affair marital state AND demonstrate your fixes to the extent he allows you.

Yes, talk to him! Just don't whine, beg, and plead. Be the woman he fell in love with. Don't "chase" him, attract him.

WAT

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 72
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 72
so, I should call him and make the first contact? Wont this cloud his alone time and make him resentful? I have read plan a in SAA several times, but I just can't fit it into his decision to leave the house.

Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Read it again, cant.

You can't fit it into his decision to leave the house maybe because there's no "fitting" to be done there.
Quote
I should call him and make the first contact? Wont this cloud his alone time and make him resentful?

Baloney.

Yes call him.

Think about this. How can you attract him if you don't interact with him?

Alone time, schmalone time.

Baloney. You bought that crapola? Don't.

Why do you think he's alone?

But, EXPECT him to be resentful. Assume he's being resentful because you're being loving. Pretty stupid, huh?

Let him be stupid. You be smart and loving and attracting.

WAT

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 589
L
LLG Offline
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 589
How are you? How's it going?


LLG=Living, Learning, Growing formerly reallyconcerned
Trying to stop fearing and start living
BS-35
WS-33
kids, yes
1 D-day 8/2003, 2nd D-day 1/2006
Current status:
Working in Plan A.
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 517 guests, and 92 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Limkao, Emily01, apefruityouth, litchming, scrushe
72,034 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0