I think you hit it dead on Tired. It is all about his feelings right now. How he is going to feel. What is so amazing about that is that is NEVER how he used to be. He always put everyone else first, was never selfish in anyway at all, almost all his life.

We are in a very tough spot right now. I'd give anything to be able to say we can make it thru this, but I just don't know. It is not only up to me.

Thanks for chatting w/me today. It means alot. I mean that. Thank you.

You're very welcome. You know Soon and I, we have to be protective of our friends.

It's odd how much they change when the mothership comes. My STBX totally morphed into someone I didn't know. I've known her since 1996, and she totally changed in 2005. They become so self-centered, hurting not only us, but the children, families, and even themselves, but there in nothing we can do to help. Anything we suggest, they feel is in our own selfishness, and they resist so hard.

The wife I was married to for about 6 years wouldn't have done a single thing to hurt anyone, much less her family. This new person (alien) don't give a dam* who she hurts, as long as she can have what she "thinks" that she wants.

Sorry to get into my stuff, it just comes out sometimes. You are in a tough spot right now. IMHO, you need to prepare emotionally and financially to move on without him. Let him continue to see that you are independant and can be happy without him. I hate lying, despise it in fact, but you may have to stretch the truth to show him that you are fine without him. It will make him think.