Hey H2,
You know you really haven't lost your dad. I was 18 when my dad left my mom for the OW. Yeah, I really felt like I had lost him. It was a really, really rough time.

I think your mom has my email. Why don't you get it from her and maybe we can chat a little? I know this feels like your world is out of conntrol, but you can get through this.

take care

Things are alright I guess. My dad really dont talk to me and my little brother doesnt talk to me as much anymore. What did I do to deserve all this neglect from them.. Everytime I try to talk to my little brothere he tells me he is to busy to talk to me. Are they trying to push him to where he doesnt want to talk to me anymore. If anyone can give me advise to where I can help fix this situation please help me.

Hi,

Have you talked to them and told them of your feelings? I have a daughter about your age, and often she will have hurt feelings when she hasn't told me what I am doing to make her feel the way she is feeling.

When she is open with me about it, I am able to take action, and often it is just about communication.

Do they know how you feel?

hurting, sadly, most wayward spouses are so distracted by their affair that they forget their children. It is sad, but true. You are lucky that you have your mother who can talk to you and help you through this until your father returns from the alien ship. This is not your fault, just a typical result of an affair.

hey there,
I'm really sorry you are hurting. I think your brother is confused right now. He is trying to be 'like dad' in his emotions and actions. You know that is not an attractive way to be, but he is blinded by wanting by wanting to be like him.

It really has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with your dad being selfish. I know that may sound harsh, but it is true.

What are you doig for you?

Are you working on that GED?

Are you looking for a job? I know I had to ride a bike to my job for a couple of years- not a lot of fun, but doable.

I know you miss your dad and your brother, but spend some time working on you right now and you will feel better about yourself.

take care

((((((((((((H2))))))))))))

Your brother is being the typical teenager going through a rough time - let me rephrase that - typical MALE teenager. Like most men - especially ones who are taught by their fathers, to not talk about their feelings. So he is going where life is easiest right now...where he doesn't need to deal with anything - where he can escape. It has nothing to do with you...but while you see what is happening and point it out - to him it's a headache he doesn't want to deal with...right now I bet living with his dad, dad is catering to him to keep him there.

Reality will hit him, and he will need his big sister, so when you do have moments to talk to him - be a friend and be there for him...he will need you when he breaks...and he will.

Your Dad wont talk to you mainly because he doesn't want to talk to anyone who will make him feel guilt for what he is doing. You make him feel guilty - you remind him what he is doing is wrong - not with words...but just who you are and your love and commitment to your mom.

I know this sucks - but hang in there. Be strong. Dont ever doubt your Dad loves you - but right now - he loves himself the most. It wont always be this way.

I am not just talking as a former adultress, but from a mom and dad who went through the same thing, and sadly never got back together, from a brother who also went through similars as your brother...and now, at 28 - my dad and I have a great relationship, and my brother and I are close...he is 24. Just stay true to you - set your boundaries with your dad and you will have a good relationship one day.

You are a strong woman...and know that your brother and dad aren't doing this because they dont love you - they are doing it because they dont know how to deal with the reality you set in front of them...

Hey A,

It doesn't sound like your issue but their's. There is not much you can do to make someone address their issues and it's not your responsibility. You can't fix them, just continue to love them and see what God can do for you.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's likely the fallout from your father's poor choices. They love you and will very likely come around when they get their heads screwed on straighter. I'm not indicating your father has to reconcile with your mom for everything to be OK. It can and will be better regardless, eventually.

I still think you need a break from this turmoil. Any news on Mackinac Island. A recharging of your batteries and a shift of focus...to being just young and alive is definetly in order.

My wife had a good quote the other day. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you perceive it. This is your life, the good and bad are all gonna be a part of that life. How would you ever know the difference between the two without experiencing them both? Brighter days are ahead, I promise.

Prayers,

Mr. Wondering

Froz and the others are right, Hurtin2. Ask your brother and Dad what the heck they're doing. Make them answer and don’t be afraid to demand answers.

As to what is causing this…personally, I think your brother is about being a young teenage boy, which is to say selfish and irresponsible (I remember being that age so I have some insight), and I think he has some problems he's hiding from. He should grow out of this, but little brothers are a pain in normal times. I remember that too.

Your father is what we refer to as an alien out here. We’ve all been hoping he comes to his senses but there’s darn little sign of it as of right now. Aliens, as you know, don’t think like human beings and there’s no explaining them. Regretfully, they usually act in their own self-interests and don’t see other people as actually being real. They act like they don’t even have children or spouses. The good news is this stage passes, Hurtin2. Your father will be back when the alien releases him. It will happen.