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"It is not unusual that one might feel 'midlifey' throughout midlife". This is Toooo Funny! "Honey, I'm feeling a bit MIDLIFEY today"... Sometimes we have to laugh to keep from crying... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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……
Then, two years after my diagnosis and a year after my reconstructive surgery, I felt ready to rejoin the living. I was really feeling great and seduced H in the hot tub. I thought everything was now perfect in my life. The very next day, WH went stark raving crazy, screaming at me, dumping what he said was years of pent-up anger on me. He continued like this for 4 months Was it a steady barrage or was he cycling in and out of this? - we tried counselling, but he said the counselor was on my side Yup, I said that too. and got furious when I expressed my concern to the counselor about H's suicide threats. At the end of 4 months, he suddenly left and turned up living in a motel room with the MOW, who he said he was "helping" through some difficulties with her H. The rest, as they say, is history. Ouch! I’m really sorry that happened to you. I do feel for you. I watched my wife go through this pain too… re – the suicide attempts. I watch the statistics closely concerning male suicides. The 2002 Stats are the most recent to be released. I see a startling trend - The “Midlife” group 45-54 has just been displaced by the age group 35 – 44. In the 45-54 group it is the forth leading cause of death however in the 35-44 group it has moved to third. I see more and more men dealing with very real midlife issues today in their mid 30’s. It is an alarming trend that at first I reacted to by saying “yeah, yeah – come back in a decade”. I can’t do that any longer. We need to take men in their 30’s much more seriously when they are facing male depression typical of those in their forties to fifties.
Gawd I hope there is such a thing as midlife crisis; if not, what was that!
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"It is not unusual that one might feel 'midlifey' throughout midlife". This is Toooo Funny! "Honey, I'm feeling a bit MIDLIFEY today"... Sometimes we have to laugh to keep from crying... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Gawd mimi... have you been hangin with my wife! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Gawd I hope there is such a thing as midlife crisis; if not, what was that!
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Everything sounds good so far, but the "cave" analogy has one SERIOUS flaw...
It assumes that the MLC is somewhere a person goes and that they eventually come out the same way...
I'd think it's more like a railroad roundhouse...your going in one way, but you can come out many.
You never get the same person OUT fot he MLC as went in. Spouses NEED to get this.
For me...MLC WAS about redefining who I was in this world...and I did exactly that. I came to detest the person I was before and had ZERO desire to be that man again. I was going to be someone new...I just didn't know who.
I changed fundamentally. I was a hardnosed Republican Christian fundamentalist INTJ going in...today, I am a Democrat religious moderate ENFP...
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I'm curious....
Is the consensus that MLC is something that someone "comes out of"? Using the roundhouse example, it tends to define MLC as having an entrance and an exit.
Is it possible that this is just a curve (a really, really tight hairpin type) in the road in which we "change directions"?
Is MLC a phase, or is it an epiphany?
Georgia
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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Is MLC a phase, or is it an epiphany? Mmmm...I would think it should be transitory. It is a defined process...deconstructing following by reconstructing. During, a person is very stressed and unsettled because they lack foundation. I can't imagine that anyone could live that way long term without self-destructing (as evidence by some here). No, I think a new set of values is eventually adopted and the MLC'r restarts their life. Of course, the hairpin curve analogy works...if you stay in the "curve", you eventually spiral into destruction. Gotta hit the straight at some point... Low
Last edited by LowOrbit; 04/04/06 12:18 PM.
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Low: You continue to speak to my H's pattern: and the MLC'r restarts their life. My H sees himself as restarting his life..new R with me..with our children...new career..new friends...changed religious beliefs...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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^^^^great thread>>>>>>bump
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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ChaCha,
Is this the thread you're looking for?
Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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Yes I love this thread gave me lots to think about! I wanted to bump it up for some of the newer MBer's. I will book mark it.
Excellent info!!!
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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