Right...but the point is that he might not know that I intend for our marriage to be more than just a piece of paper.

My WW may have convinced him that our M is long over and that is ok...hence not a real test on his conscience.

I can only reiterate,
the OM HAS NO CONSCIENCE. iF HE DID, HE WOULDN'T BE PESUING YOUR W.
All blessings,
Jerry

What do you care whether he knows or not? You trying 2 help him out in some way?

The point is, that it's your W you have 2 deal with, and if she really has convinced him that your M is over, it might mean that she believes that herself. And it's HER belief you hope will change (though SHE has 2 do it, not you).

best,
-ol' 2long

But the impression I got from his emails was that it wouldn't take that much for him to dump her and move on...that he is just playing with her for the fun of it, but she may have more baggage than he wants to tackle...especially with it being a long distance 'relationship'. GF may be able to convey the message to him that she is more trouble than she is worth.

Yes, he could just thumb his nose at GF. I doubt it would harm GF's position to send him that short note or make a short call to the OM.

GF...

Stick with WAT's letter and send it when your atty. gives you the go ahead...While what 2long and shinethrough are saying is very true, OM doesn't care about you or your marriage, based on his correspondence with your WW, it's pretty clear that he does not care about her either...

You send this letter with the clear understanding that it may do absolutely NOTHING...At the very least it makes your presence and intent known, and best case scenario, it *might* show SINGLE OM that your WW is really too much trouble after all...the tone of his communication with her has sounded like he may already have that inkling, *maybe* your letter will push him over the edge...

GF, that is one big *MIGHT* and one big *MAYBE*, OK? A short and to the point note passed to OM, won't do any harm as long as you understand not to hang your hopes on it accomplishing anything...

Mrs. Wondering

I agree. Its worth a shot, but only after your wife has been served, and only after you have your attorney's blessing.

Jo

Ok, plus we need to remember that the email we are talking about was written before he got to spend four days in Vegas with her.

He may feel much stronger about her now...and vice versa...I still haven't heard anything from her and it's almost 8pm.

They had spent nights together before this. The diff this time is now you KNOW what is really going on.

Do you know what time her flight arrived?

Have you taken the "make-up" card off the kitchen table so she won't ever see it?

Jo

Yup, cards gone! No idea when her flight gets in...plus I don't know if she is coming in from Vegas or Virginia.

Right, but thier relationship is just getting stronger as each day together passes...if things weren't going great on fantasy island, she would have come home when she was supposed to.

Hey! I resemble that remark!!

Re: worth of the letter

IMHO, the points raised that the letter should NOT be sent are extremely valid. Good arguments. I believe the reality is that none of us can know how any such letter will be received by an OP - it's just like any other form of "exposure", the only twist being it's exposing a different truth. Overall, I believe the odds are better that letters of this sort will do more good than harm.

GF - your attorney may wince at the "legal actions" threat, in which case take it out. I believe the message you should be trying to send is that messing with your family will not be a walk in the park. It would be much easier to seek an unmarried woman. Remember, affairees don't like hardships and they overlook long range consequences. This OM likely could take her or leave her and not bat an eye if he realizes this won't be a cakewalk.

JMHO

WAT

Not by much! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You know what I mean when I'm referring 2 gooves, after all! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

In the end, I don't disagree with what's been advised about sending the WATness letter. Just so hats aren't being hung on it, 'zall.


Heck, I'd still like 2 put RM in the ground, but I know that some of my desires are a little unreasonable...

-ol' 2long <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

hey you goof - what are YOU doing up so early???

Ac2ally, I'm gee-whizzin' Jupiter through the 9 1/4"!

Woke up and it was clear! Almost didn't know what 2 do with myself! (no suggestions, please).

-ol' 2long

Just be careful of those rest stops - you know what happens at those!

WAT
---------------
Greenspanish: Cryptic yet extremely influential language.

Yeah, right. Have you SEEN the dating world lately? It's been 11 years since I last "dated", but I know one thing....if it's easy, they'll make the trip....once it gets difficult, people's (read: guys - not MEN - guys) jets cool A LOT!

Now, for a female (notice I didn't say lady?), all kinds of emotions get tangled. She's gonna smart bad once her knight in shiny armor shows how tarnished and shabby he REALLY is. And he is. Her desperation (cruise a year out, thinly veiled innuendos regarding honeymoons) proves it.

- Kimmy

Morning GF.

So whats the status. Did she make it home. How are things?

Jo

p.s. Regarding Fantasy Isle not crashing and burning, its not going to crumble overnight, GF. I know you're anxious for that, but you need to stop concentrating on THEM and keep the focus on you and DD.

Well I had the scare of my life last night! WW called at 8:30 from OMs cell phone. It sounded like she was at a club, and she asked to talk to DD. She told DD that she will be home soon.

On Monday she had said that she had switched her late flight on Monday for an earlier flight on Tuesday, so at 8:30 when she called and said she would be home soon, I thought she was back in the state. I convinced myself that he was coming home with her.

But it was just another one of her lies...she was still in Vegas, and her flight didn't actually leave until 11:45 last night. She got home at 4am this morning, almost nothing was said, and she called OM after I went back to bed.

She woke up DD at 5:45 to give her some presents that she had bought for her in Vegas, then left for work by 6:15.

She was just cold and distant to me...I think she would be much happier if I were to choke and die.

So you have OM's cell number??

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Does he need a call from the Nevada State Health Department concerning his activities in their fun state? - you know, just a public service from a US state well versed in tracking sexually transmitted diseases?

WAT

...and your attorney will be filing your LS when?

Regards,

BB