Well I just talked to my lawyer, and she said that these reasons are not enough to have me removed from the house. She would have to make something up.

Especially as Mr. W said, she knew I was using that computer that night. I was using it to make the CDs for the wedding she was going on. She gave me permission to use the computer...she put no stipulations on that. Nothing like "Don't open my email", just burn the CDs. Also, the IT guy I talked too...I concider him a friend, so in all actuallity, I was just talking to a friend about my problems. Sure I was talking about exposing her relationship, but not "crying and threatening to tell the whole world" (her words exactly).

I'm sure that my WW is calling her lawyer up right now, but there is no way she has all of the documentation she needs to file...it took me days to get it all together and it will take her a while too.

I am concerned though because I thought the documents would be ready today, but now she doesn't think they will be ready until late tomorrow or Friday....if my WW does go to her lawyer...I hope he is is busy too!

[color:"blue"]She would have to make something up.
[/color]

We guarantee this is coming....

don't panic

stay strong
stay calm
and don't be pushed into a corner

keep recording things she says in your journal

Unless you live in some bizarre legal jurisdiction of which I am not aware, I don't believe this would be grounds to have you removed from the home. Call your attorney, though, and make sure she is aware of all of this and MAKE SURE SHE FILES THAT LS THIS AFTERNOON!!! You MUST beat WW to the courthouse.

Also, if she is this worked up about you talking to IT guy at work, it most likely means she is being called on the carpet for it...in my company, we call it protection of physical and intellectual assets - we don't use company assets for personal interests. If they check her computer history, it will most likely lead them to her phone history which could include a number of calls it VA. I just spent 2 hours this afternoon, investigating someone who's doing the exact same thing. In my company it can get ya' fired!

Regards,

BB

Good point. I wonder if she recognizes the fact that she's been using "company trips" for vacations with her lover?

Anyway, doesn't matter. I'm following my lawyer's advice and staying away from her work for now.

WHY??? These are form documents that most practitioners have in their computer database - all she has to do is fill in your pertinent information. SHE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS COULD BE A RACE TO THE COURTHOUSE STEPS AND YOU WANT THAT ADVANTAGE.

I hope you are not using the same lady attorney that Sleepless in Seattle's XW used...does your attorney breed dogs by any chance? If so, run as fast as you can to someone else.

Regards,

BB

Yo Brit - please see my posts above regarding naming OM in the documents.

WAT

Ohh, and she didn't deny the affair either. The last conversation started to get pretty heated:

WW: (good father) you need to stop f**ing listening to your f**ing idiot mom. You're being f**ing retarded.
me: I don't think it's appropriate for you to be insulting me and my mother.
WW: I don't care what you think is f**ing appropriate. By making the choice not to do the re-fi you are negatively impacting your ability to be apart of DDs life. You will not be able to afford to live when you have to pay half of all of the debt and pay for an appt. Your credit is going to be aweful, and you're going to be in finacial ruin for years. This is proving that you are mentally unstable!!!

me: Our credit already stinks WW. We re-fied less than a year ago, and look where we are. Your credit is in the upper 500s, and mine is in the low 600s. There's really nowhere for it to go from here.

WW: the court is going to order us to sell the house.
me: yup...and then we get the equity out of it and pay of the CCs...not now with me tied into a new loan with you for the next 30 years.

WW: (good father) there is a right way and a wrong way to handle this. Your decision here is influencing our ability in the future to care for DD. This will not bode well for you.

me: (WW) there is a right way and a wrong way to handle a marriage, and having an affair is the wrong way. This will not bode well for you.

WW: well we both know that having an affair isn't grounds for anything in this state.


so there you have it she didn't deny the affair, she practically admitted to it. Finally!

I know my comment at the end was not a good idea, but I was really starting to get heated up too. I didn't raise my voice or anything, but I started getting snotty and sarcastic. So I told her that we need to stop our conversation now because I'm starting to get heated and upset, and I don't want to talk like that. I want to take a break and talk when we can be adults.

her response? CLICK

I think it may be time for a "Plan A letter" to be drawn up and ready for his WW once the legal stuff hits her.

Like the Plan B letter, it would explain that he still wants the marriage, still believes they can work things out. It would say that the affair must end. it would also say that he will do whatever it takes to protect DD, protect the family and work for a better and fulfilling marriage for both of them.

In this way, in her foggy mind, she will have soem semblance of truth...that being that he isnt filing to end things...put to protect the marriage. She wont see it as that at first. But the letter will give her a reminder.

We have used it before on here and it worked well. It just repeated the mantra that GF is now going to repeat over and over when talkign with his WW (the alien).

If others agree, I think you need to draft one up and post it here for us to vet. Then, as soon as she has been served, you email or give her the letter.

In His arms.

WAT

I agree that OM's NAME should appear BOLDED WITH *****'S all around it. He'll be involved in the matter anyway and it EXPOSES him and her to the world for eternity.

WW has this illusion that she can achieve all she wants in the divorce and OM is irrelevant. OM's name there forever puts the world on notice of WHY the marriage disintergrated when it did, who is to blame AND THE NAME OF THE PARTNER INFIDEL.

Someday, your daughter may even look this up as WW may give her a conflicting story to the TRUTH.

I say...OM's NAME, Job Title & address along with former known addresses should appear on your filing somewhere. Maybe even write it as like an obituary, Mr. Ima Tool, son of Mr. and Mrs. Rays A. Tool, of 222 Main Street, Central Park, Okalahoma and brother of Getta Tool, of 436 Jimmy Carter Blvd, Ada, Ohio....etc., etc.


Mr. Wondering

Document, document, document!!

In His arms.

Defending boundaries...very good.


HhHhhhhmmmmmm. Go back to what I posted earlier. Man, are WSs EVER original?!?!?!


You are starting to argue with the alien here. This will get you nowhere. A better answer?? "You are entitled to your beliefs."


Wrong. Now you are discussing divorce stuff. She has you discussing her agenda on her turf. Dont do this!! Better response: "You are entitled to your beliefs."


Bravo. Great response!!


Funny, silly WSs!! As I have always said, it would be darn funny if this werent so serious!!

Overall, good job. Please be careful of being led into those types of convos though. You cant win them. Stay on message.

Mantra, mantra, mantra!!

In His arms.

Additionally,

NOT A HINT OF MB. Don't let her see you running off to the computer at all hours of the day and night. Somebody above gave a link for encryption software. Install it. End all sessions, clear all cookies, history and temp files. She only suspects you've been talking to your mom but if she finds this thread she'll KNOW way to much. You need her in the dark for quite some time as you accumulate your evidence and documentation.

BE VERY CAREFUL AND COVERT

Mr. W

GF,

I don’t care what you do, have your lawyer file TODAY. Let me repeat,

I don’t care what you do, have your lawyer file TODAY!!!

Don’t worry if the filing is not perfect, you can amend the little defects later. But be sure to be the first one to file. It is a race to the court house now. If you don’t file first, don’t be surprised if you are kicked out of your house and OM gets to come over and play “Daddy” to your DD in your own home. So get your lawyer off her butt and make her do what she needs to do for you to file TODAY. It is crucial that you do not throw away this most advantageous position of yours.

Best.

Can't answer the question about naming OM in the pleadings - varies by jurisdiction. I did not name OW in mine.

Regards,

BB

Ok, lawyer says we simply can't file today, but I might be able to sign tonight, or first thing in the morning, and the papers will be filed in the morning.

YIKES!!!

I'm going to assume (I know I know) that WW won't be able to file tonight either.

She didn't start threatening me until 11, and likely didn't call her lawyer before then. Plus she doesn't have any of the financial documentation she's going to need, such as W-2s, pay stubs, tax returns...I have them all!!!

Soo...I guess we just wait and see. ARRG!

I know you think "YIKES" now, but you'd be thinking "YIKES x a bazillion" if WW was to take legal action first, GF.

You did good, but I still think your attorney should be able to get it in by TODAY. She needs to get on board with your strategy.

Jo

Please remember this (Mortarman or UVA paraphrasing):

[color:"blue"]"Your attorney owns the legal matters (LS, Divorce, Child Custody Issues)

And YOU own the marriage issues"
[/color]

Ok...trying to remember that!

Courthouse closes at 4:30. I'm thinking we are ok for filing first...just can't stand the anticipation of knowing for sure.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

good man !

GF:

In case you haven't thought of this already, if your WW calls you AGAIN 2 argue about refying or some nonsense...

DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE.

I did that a lot when my W and I were just arguing. VERY effective, and she got the message.

-ol' 2long