This is her MO for when she spends week-ends with OM. She has always extended those week-ends another day, which I know you're fully aware.

I hope your neighbor has something of substance to share.

Yea, me too. I don't have his number, so I'm just going to have to wait to talk to him until I drop DD off.

Your spirits sound like they're up. That's good. You can read through my threads to see how truly goofy a WW can get. What's really useful is that I copied her E-Mails into the texts so you can understand what kind of things may be coming out of her mouth.

It was a great weekend to spend with your daughter! Hang in there GF. This will take some time to work through.

Sleepless

Yes, my spirits aren't too bad. I had DD all weekend; I took her to the fair on Saturday, and down to the waterfront yesterday.

To be honest, I noticed yesterday that I'm not really missing WW much anymore. We'll have to see how I feel once I'm back in the house, but I'm ALMOST looking forward to plan B, and if things coninue on this way...divorce.

It's probably a phase I'm going through....just have to wait and see!

Okay, we're all waiting to see what happened with the neighbor. Make sure your WW doesn't know why you're talking to the guy!

"To be honest, I noticed yesterday that I'm not really missing WW much anymore. We'll have to see how I feel once I'm back in the house, but I'm ALMOST looking forward to plan B, and if things coninue on this way...divorce.

It's probably a phase I'm going through....just have to wait and see! "

I think this is healthy detachment.

The MB plans are designed 2 protect you from the hurt while preserving what love you have for the WS for as long as possible - in case they wake up and want 2 save the M, you'll need 2 give a ****, I mean *want* the M as well.

-ol' 2long

I agree - and no doubt it's also a certain amount of relief at taking back control of your life, instead letting WW run hog-wild with it and trample it through the mud.
Mulan

Bummer on the job front...the job I interviewed for twice last week went to someone else.

But the good news is I still like the job I have!

Well, look on the bright side, at least you're marketable!

Ohh, forgot to tell you guys about an interesting little fact this weekend! WW didn't call Saturday at all until 11 at night! Then asked if DD was still up?!? She's 5! She's not up at 11!

Didn't bother to call in the morning, didn't bother to call at lunch, didn't bother to call at dinner time....nothing. Must have been really hard "work", to make her forget to call.

Her excuse "I didn't want to bother you guys at the fair".

BullS***.

"Ohh, forgot to tell you guys about an interesting little fact this weekend! WW didn't call Saturday at all until 11 at night! Then asked if DD was still up?!? She's 5! She's not up at 11!"

Yeah, but I'll bet that when she's 11, she'll be up past 5!

See, you've got 2 THINK like a WW, GF!... NOT! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

write it down..DOCUMENT HER INABILITY TO CALL WITH THE MONTHLY PHONE BILL...show that she is so caught up in her affair that dd is a mere afterthought.

that is great stuff for court.

and also...GET THAT NEIGHBOR'S INFO!

Well, got confirmation that OM has been in my home this weekend. I suspected it, but now I know it. The ex-gf emailed me his flight itinerary, and purchase confirmation.

I'm so freakin pissed right now...I knew that they were having sex before, but not in my HOME..WHERE OUR DAUGHTER LIVES...WHERE WE SLEEP.

What a freakin sl*t. What really pisses me off is that she couldn't even be bothered to talk to DD, and just pawned her off on me so she could go f*** around.

I told her that she needs to just sign the LS paperwork uncontested. She said "we'll talk about it on Wednesday, when we meet with the mediator."

I told her that now that I have further proof of her continued lying I can't trust any thing that comes out of her mouth. The lawyer's or mediator is going to have to be present for anything.

The really crappy part of it is, I can't keep DD until the trial. Legally I have to give her back to the wh*re, if she wants DD.

AAARRRGGGG....freakin liar! There is one thing that I hate more than cheaters and that's liars!!!

GF,

I'm sorry for the recent discovery. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

You shouldn't have told her you knew about OM being there. First, it was an LB to confront her about it, but more importantly you've given her your INTEL again where now she can prepare lies/half truths with her attorney's assistance in prep for the legal battle coming (UNDERSCORE Battle).

I know its hard to contain your emotions, but you need to get better at it. VENT here before, not after, you're in contact with her. That should release some of the steam.

Jo

You shouldn't no matter how much you want to. She is addicted and will bold face lie to you while looking straight in your eyes. This person is not your wife right now.

Ohh wait, you are going to use a "Mediator"?

Who's idea was that?

Will you be including your attorney in the mediation meetings?

While I agree that GF should have kept this information to himself because of his upcoming legal battle, I do not agree that confronting her with the information was a lovebuster...

Right now GF is in "survival mode" for reasons of the PO and custody(GF, it's great if your WW gets caught in lies in front of the court-you don't want to give she and her atty the opportunity to sugarcoat anything)...IF, however, he was in Plan A mode, then he should most certainly have told his WW that he knew exactly what went on...

Either way, sources of INTEL should NEVER be divulged...a statement of WHAT he knows and not HOW he knows is the way it should be handled...

In Plan A, not stating what he knows only enables the infidels to continue believing that their "dirty little secret" is still a secret...Affairs THRIVE in SECRECY...To tell the WS that you know of their actions sheds the light of day on the affair and is, therefore, NOT a lovebuster...

Mrs. W

Mediators are cheaper and the Mediators will actually listen to ALL the facts and evidence of the case unlike Judges (like the judge that signed the restraining order). The Mediators are attorneys and you are still represented by counsel in front of the panel (usually 3 mediators).

Men, on average, get a far better shake on the custody issues in mediation than in court. Especially in circumstances such as these where ALOT of facts need to be presented to PROVE GF getting primary custody IS in the best interests of their daughter.

Further, GF has limited resources to battle a long contested divorce and custody dispute in court.

Mediation also allows, in most states, for appeals to the court if the outcome is not favorable.

In fact, the "How to Win Custody" document we got GF recommends seeking mediation for the reasons stated above. I know for "Marriage Building" we usually recommend dragging it out, however, in this case, the "marriage saving" is our second concern. Protecting GF and DD from this WW is the first concern. IMO, reconciliation attempts can wait.

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - to reiterate what my wife said above...YOU WANT to catch her in lies. Let her THINK she's got you snowed. Trap her into testifying under oath, either at a deposition, to a court pyschologist and/or on the stand. Do not give away ANY secrets you obtain. Give the secrets to your attorney to use to YOUR benefit. The odds against you winning custody (no matter how obvious it is to US here) are stacked against you as a father. Pass EVERYTHING by your attorney. She is your General. We are your Field Officers. Do not go off on your own missions until seeking counsel of her and/or us. Please

When you get back in your home ... without any discussion about this matter with WW ... when your WW is away ... throw that mattress

O U T

and relpace it with a new one

just say "It was soiled beyond repair."

Pep

Mr. and Mrs. Wondering,

You two should change your names to Mr. and Mrs. WONDERFUL. You've been so kind and supportive of GF. God Bless you both.

I have a question, should GF have his attorney present in the mediations for legal help? Please remember his wife is highly intelligent and aggressive, not to mention the effect she can have on GF.

Jo