Yes it was separate...here is the reply from my attorney:

This order from WW's lawyer dismisses the protection order. That is step one. It does not prejudice you because we can still file motion and get an order to allow you back into the home. The Court order does not require an agreement. If all goes well today, you may be back in your home tonight. No court would enter an order that requires both of you to co-habitate unless it is entered by agreement. Personally, I am not comfortable with the two of you cohabitating because she can allege anything, but it allows you one step closer to being in the home with your daughter and puts you more on equal footing again as if the protection order was never filed. Assuming she continues to be an absent parent, it give you a leg up for primary custody.

You're reading too much into it. The order just tells the court you two are working on things and a protection order is not necessary. The court is going to want to know why we are dismissing it. They are suspicious and wonder if the "victim" is being intimidated or forced into dismissing the order. You are not bound to reach any agreement through the counselor. If things don't work out then we go before the court, but now that she has an attorney, she cannot run down to the court house and get an order to throw you out. I have to receive notice of everything first.

Done GF-sorry bout that kiddo...you do realize that you've named her several times here, right? I didn't check to see if you edited it out or not, I just wanted to be sure that you knew...I know how crazy all this stuff gets... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

Yea, I think I've gotten them all! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Here's the most recent email from my attorney:

I just returned from the courthouse. I took the notice of termination directly to the DV office, it will be put into the file, and it will be terminated today. No one can appear to renew it. She would have to file a new petition for a protection order, but that does not happen when there are attorneys involved. Any restraining order would be entered in the dissolution case and it could not be entered without notice to me so that we have an opportunity to appear.

The two of you have to either agree to co-habitate or alternate time in the home or the Court will decide who resides in the home. It takes 2 weeks to have a hearing.

I can tell you that if WW's lawyer had not gotten involved, WW would have likely received a 1 year order for protection and at the hearing for temporary orders in the divorce she would likely have primary custody and be living in the home. Then she would not only have control, but she would have court ordered control. I know this does not make sense to you, but unfortunately it's the way the system works. This is why I am trying to work outside the system. You have a better chance of getting what you want outside the system or if we have to get into the system then at least you're in a such better position.

I don't agree with what she's done. I only HOPE she's right and not parroting what your WW's attorney told her. I mean where's her fight. WW likely would have won a 1 year temp order? Really?. Why didn't she tell you this before???? Complimenting WW's attorney??? The guy that helped WW race into court and file a obviously and completely BOGUS protective order request without getting all the facts and making ANY personal assesment of his client? Where are his ethics? I am betting he snowed your attorney and I am praying that your meeting goes smoothly today and you are back home tonight.

Your concerns were dead on. The part where it says:

"the parties agree, Respondant (GF) will not move into the family home absent a written agreement or Court Order"

basically sets you up for a huge fall if they are playing games with you. You've just consented to the protective order, indicated that you are OK with wife being in charge of daughter now, this is all just negotiations and no real emergency exists and I'm OK out of my own. I wasn't THROWN out of my butt for NO REASON whatsoever, at least the record doesn't indicate that...what's a mediator to presume. You've got NOTHING on record stating YOUR side of that story. Not even a written response, I presume.

Finally, WW's attorney hired and scheduled this facilitator. How would she get scheduled at the same moment you two are to be in court?

Sorry again. I am just really suspicious and concerned for you. Your attorney did not have to just accept that the PROPOSED stipulation/release agreement verbatum. I mean come on, the two of you essentially had an agreement last night on the phone, why could it just be written in (even in just a summary format) by your attorney. If you and your attorney do not get shafted this time she is sure gonna get shafted by some attorney someday. She is far to trusting.

Last thought. Assuming you get shafted today. Then your attorney will file a motion to get you back in the home which takes another 2 weeks, when she could have just got you in today. In 2 weeks you'll be 1 month out of the home and MORE likely to lose. If she thinks WW was going to win today, why is she any more confidant WW will lose in 2 weeks.

Some of this is venting. What's done is done. I am praying for the best and glad you at least spoke up and address legitimate concerns.

Mr. W

Thanks for your concerns Mr. W! I think they are valid, but I need to clarify some facts for you.

My WW filed the protection order before she hired her attorney. Her attorney later confided to my lawyer that he felt is was the wrong approach to take.

Also, WW's attorney suggested this facilitator. I ran it by my attorney to see if she knew her, and I scheduled the appointment for yesterday. WW and I scheduled the appt. for today, while we were still there in the mediator's office.

Assuming I do get shafted today (I really hope not), my lawyer is saying that it's going to be another mark against WW when it goes to trial. The fact that she is unwilling to keep her word and changes her mind on a whim doesn't show that she is capable of being a stable parent.

Man oh man am I nervous! I'm leaving in about 20 minutes, and I can barely finish half my lunch!

Wish me luck everyone!

GF, I know I'm not getting a comprehensive portrait of this attorney you've hired. That's unfortunate, because what IS seeping through is a picture of a young, inexperienced individual who may or may not be as qualified as one could desire. Is there no way you can hire a mean, cold-hearted, S0B of a lawyer who would like nothing better than to have an opposing attorney horsewhipped and boiled in oil rather than compliment them? They aren’t fun to be around, but they sure do make good pit bulls.

You shall be protected by the grace of God if you ask for it. Whatever happens, handle it with grace and dignity. He, God, will take care of you no matter the outcome. Have faith in Him, first and foremost. His will, will be done.

Mr. W

Good luck, GF. Hang tough and KEEP YOUR COOL!

GF,

Good Luck!

Good Luck!

Good Luck!

We're all pulling for you!

Good luck GF

Good luck! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

So, I went to the mediators...wait for about 10 minutes...look at my watch...now it's 1:30.

Ohh geez, did she screw me over again? I'm getting really anxious.

I decide to go outside, so I open the door, just in time to see a Grey BMW park, with my WW in the drivers seat...thank goodness!

We didn't discuss any real logistics, we focused on how to communicate with DD. Got WW to agree not to talk to/about OM infront of DD. Mediator said that it would be way to confusing to try and understand that relationship..."how come you are just friends with daddy, but you're friends with him too?" "you have to be friends before you get married, but you and daddy aren't going to be married anymore...are you still going to be friends? Since you are friends with OM are you going to get married?" It would go on and on. It wasn't the "right and wrong" victory that I wanted, but it was a victory all the same to me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. Plus I'm back at my friends place now packing up all my stuff.

I'll post later from my own home!

Okay, so sounds like GF is back in his home with his daughter. HooooRAY!

Now I'd like to know what the Plan is going forward. We need to map out a his strategy with contingencies.

Can anyone help?

Jo

Good for you, GF!

Yes please!!!! I need to know. I have the strategy that SH gave me, but implementing it is going to be really tricky.

I can tell you now that you'll be home, numero uno is do NOT let your wife find MB at all costs. Lock things down and stay diligent about protecting this safe place from her.

Also, store all evidence and journaling, etc. OFF SITE.

Agreed...already planning on changing passwords on all equipment, computers, routers, etc.

Very well.

I presume you have a "written" agreement or something indicating it's safe and OK to go home. I'm done with my conspiracy theory stuff cause at least this time all appears legit. But your agreement on the protection order required a "written" agreement. If so, what did it say specifically.

I'd still go home. An oral agreement in front of facilitator gives you a good faith argument that you felt OK going home; but what if she calls the police again tonight?. Thus, absolutely NO confrontations for now. Sit back, adjust, assess the battlefield, investigate and lets work on a plan. Further, presume WW may have the house bugged...doubt it, but maybe.

NOW, how do we turn this thing around and upside down. We need to right the affair world put WW and OM back properly on the lovebusting, consequence fearing, and insecure Defensive. Let's give it some time and get it right this time.

Are there any hearings coming up on your divorce petition?

Has WW's attorney responded to it?

Did the facilitator push a 50-50 agenda? Did wife? What did facilitator recommend? ETC.

Mr. W

See how using the facilitator (or any third party) can get your WW to agree to something so reasonable but that she was adamamently opposed to just 16 hours ago. Point being, it is absolutely unnecessary and unproductive for you to discuss anything with her regarding the legal affairs with her alone. Trying to "educate" her about affairs and the such is equally pointless.

So what to do? Stick to the Do's and Don't list I posted many days ago and we'll figure out a plan.

Mr. W