Hello Good Father,

Just checking in on you to see how your first week-end back home is going.

Jo

Not bad. WW was too busy talking to OM, to bother coming with DD and I to ballet. She said to come pick her up afterwords to go run some errands.

She was on the phone the whole time we were gone, so wasn't ready when we got home. So I took DD and we left, got some lunch took her to best buy, and hung out for a couple hours until WW finally caught up.

Since then we've had a pretty decent day. We bought a bunch of new clothes for DD, and even laughed a bit.

It's all an act on WW's part, and as soon as DD is in bed she's going to be talking to OM for the rest of the night, but that's ok. At least she got the chance to see that she can have fun with DD and me if she wants.

Well I'm happy to say that I was wrong.

We actually sat and talked for about 45 minutes or so after DD went to bed.

It's kinda bitter sweet, because sure enough OM called, so I excused myself. And now after spending over 8 hours with WW, I'm finding out that I sure am still attached to her, and it was like nails on a chalk board when that damn cell phone rang.

But ohh well. I'm going to mark this day down as a good one in my book, and wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Goodnight all.

Try to keep that up.

I'll bet that when you are on your best Plan A behavior, she's being slowly eaten from the inside.

It may take a while for her to feel the effect, but every good moment with Good Father is a silent deposit on your side of the scale. A tipping point exists.

JMHO

WAT

MrsW - 4 years ago I used it and it does work. Depending upon how much money you want to spend, the information you get back on the "subject" is interesting and fairly detailed. At the very least you learn where "the shining example of humanity" lives, and has lived, and you can learn a lot more.

Kudos to you.

You are transformed over the last few horrible weeks ...

you are a man to be admired!!!!

Pep

GF,

Have you mapped out a plan yet? Whats your strategy going forward? Can you please share?

Jo

Thanks for the info FH! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> GF, I think that you should most definitely have a background search done on this OM...Please go check what this site has to offer...FH is a very credible reference...

Hope today finds you well...update us when you can...

Mrs. W

Well we had a major regression after my post last night.

The night she called the police because I asked her to take her affair conversation outside, I stashed my voice recorder.

The bad thing is I was kicked out of the house before I could grab it again!

She found it last night. The problem is that I stashed it in our closet, and I agreed to let her have our bedroom for the next couple of weeks.

I should have grabbed the damn thing Friday night when WW was working late, but I completely spaced it!

The good thing is that there was no recording on it. I never used it after my lawyer told me it would be illegal. Secondly, it was turned off and stuffed inside an old comforter, which would have blocked any sound had the recorder actually been turned on anyway.

But the damage is done. She's back to being really guarded and cold. It's going to take some work to get her to open up again.

I did get her to admit that the ideal situation for our DD is for her to have parents that are happy and love each other. Of course she swears thats never going to happen, and the best we can do is "second best" which is for DD to be with her mother. But she acknowledged the "ideal situation" anyway.

I'll keep chipping away at that armor. I think tomorrow in our next meeting with the mediator is going to be a good opportunity.

I'll post more later!

Too bad, but you don't have to go out of your way to guarnatee her you have not recorded anything. She can't prosecute you for owning a recorder only using it. Nice thing is you don't have to lie in court if she pulls the recorder out (which she may). You just indicate you got that earlier and attorney advised you not to use it. Which is the truth.

However, in depositions or before the mediators you can bluff her to tell the truth herself by simply asking the question, when she's under oath, "Mrs. GF do you stand by that answer that you and OM are just friends, you know, if we have recordings of you and OM which differ from these statements we could admit tape recordings to impeach you or turn them over to the prosecutors so you can be prosecuted for perjury...are you certain you don't want to alter your answer????"

Never know when your attorney may wish to utilize that bluff. Let WW go nuts wondering whether there is a recorder everywhere. It will drive her nuts, especially when she never finds one.

If you get another one. DON'T GET CAUGHT. Get a microphone extension. Hide it in the duct work or in the attic and extend the microphone down a lightbox. Be very careful.

Mr. Wondering

She might just be a little concerned your recorder picked up something from the week her partner in adultery spent with her. She has no way of telling whether you've just replaced the previous tape or downloaded the flash memory already onto your computer or something. I'd encourage her in small ways to keep on wondering. Keeping aliens off guard can’t be a bad thing.

BTW, I'm skeptical about that information the attorney gave you about it being illegal to tape events that occur in your own house. I can find information on the Internet that telephone intercepts are not legal where you live without both parties being aware of it, but I can’t find a thing that says you can’t leave tape recorders laying around to pick up what they may. On the other hand, I can find dozens of ads for private investigators in the SEATAC area who proudly boast of their expertise in surveillance, electronic surveillance, and how effective their offices are in child custody and infidelity cases. If it’s against the law for such things, how could they advertise their ability to do it?

Agreed Longhorn,

I likely misspoke when I indicated "she CAN'T prosecute for owning a recorder only using it". I doubt even had it contained recordings she could have prosecuted you. I had tried to look it up previosly before and found little.

I think your attorney is only concerned about the appearance of you looking paranoid and vindictive. WW's attorney may be able to spin the "survellance" as you being controlling and manipulative.

Key is DON'T GET CAUGHT. The trade off of not having survellance is being susceptible to false charges of abuse. I think the risk is worth it. Please realize that eventually if you ever get back a fully repentent wife, she will not end up having any problem with you recording her. Mrs. W now sees and is proud of me for doing whatever it took to save our family. She has absolutely NO remaining concerns about the survellance issue. Thus, in the end, you are merely fearing your WW's response at your own risk.

Mr. Wondering

From what I have read. The legality comes into play when recording telephone conversation. NOT picking up noise in the house.

If that where the case. No one would be allowed to use a Nanny Cam.

Most states have a one person, or two person rule when recording phone con.

Link to your state's rule

So I don't believe even if your WW could prove you recorded audio over the mic only, she has anything to use against you.

ADDED: Much like state, and federal agencies require permission to tap a phone line, to the best of my knowledge that is not required to recorded a face to face meeting or sting operation.

What about wearing the voice recorder around your neck in plain sight, with a flashing light thingy even, 2 indicate it's on? (even if it isn't)

Might keep the Mrs on her toes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

I am interested in the flashing light thingy. Where do I get one?

In His arms.

BWHAAAAAAAAAAA

MM:

"I am interested in the flashing light thingy. Where do I get one?"

At the STORE, of course!

Is a recorder illegal if it's jewelry? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

I guess not if it is out in the open. Of course, you will need a concealed carry permit to carry it inside your clothing...

OOOppppsss...I was confusing that with a weapon. My bad.

In His arms.

The only thing I can find on the subject is that if you videotape event in public AND you intend to use the recording for commercial purposes, you must obtain a release to use their image from everyone you can locate who appears in that recording. (I ran across that following a thread about the TV show "Cops.") I can't find a THING that says you cannot videotape or make an audio recording of things that go on in your own home or on your property. If one of the attorneys out here can think of a search string that could be run on an Internet search engine...perhaps that special word or phrase...that would get me to the right page in the (Washington State) statutes, I'd sure appreciate it. I'm becoming obsessed. Help! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Or the blinking light thingy...do you need a permit for that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Anyway so here's the update all. WW and I went to the mediator again. I made my point very clear.

"I am not attached to WW, but I think that it is important that we try every avenue available to us to try and fix our problems, for DD's sake. It is in DD's best interest to live in a home with parents that love each other and are happy."

WW: I'm not going to live on pretending to be happy.

Me: I'm not proposing that. People can learn to be happy and to love, and I feel that we should try to learn before we just give up; again...for DD's sake."

WW: I agree that people can learn to love and be happy. But only when both parties want it.

Then the mediator moved on to or "plan of attack". We are seeing her to negotiate the parenting plan. She asked how we want to procede.

WW: I want us to continue to live in the house together for the next six months to get our finances in order. But I want to get the legal parenting plan figured out as soon as possible, because that is going to set the tone for the next six months.

me: If we're going to all live together for six months, then I think those six months will determine how the parenting plan works out.

mediator: Well, you guys have completely different views, so lets start with baby steps. We'll work out how things are going to work for the time being, the next six months or so, then move on to the formal parenting plan.



YES!!! I actually won one!

I'm sure that WW has a completely different view, and is going to tell OM how well things went for her today, but I don't know. She seemed kinda pissed when she left, engine revving, and no goodbye.

<Shrug> ohh well. One day at a time, and so far this day seems to be going ok <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.