I understand 2, Kimmy, particularly since I often feel that's the message *I* am given about my own sitch.

It was perhaps unfair of me 2 "rank" GF's sitch greater in severity than my own.

My apologies.

-ol' 2long

If she wanted to us to be a family, and was commited to no contact with OM ever again, I think I would be able/willing to adopt the child and treat it as my own.

In her current state though, I would insist that she go start her new family and leave me and DD out of it. I still don't want DD growing up with the value and moral set that my WW is currently displaying.

Hard to say until it happens. Hard to know what the true situation would be. So, I'm trying not to dwell on it until something concrete happens.

Here is a way to test her to see if she is PG. Go out and buy her some extremely strong narcotic medicine, that no PG woman would ever take. If she refuses to take it, without a good explination, it is another indication she is PG.

well

in the USA

one needs an RX for a narcotic

WHAT are you talking about???

Pep

Yea...not going to try and drug my WW. Thanks for the advice though.

Pregnancy is kinda hard to hide after a while...I'm planning on Plan A'ing for several more months...plus she wants to stay living in the house for the next 6 months, so I'm sure I'll see something more concrete within that time frame. Right now she could just be bloated and throwing up from a cold or something. She's throwing up a lot, so she's always hungry...just a theory, can't know for sure right now without her actually telling me.

BTW...looking at your sig Kloe72, I'm very happy that you and your H are in recovery and that he moved back in time to be with your DD.

Congrats.

If you want to know if she is pregnant you might as well ask her if she is pregnant.

However though there could be other reasons for why she is throwing up, such as guilt is finnally starting to catch up to her, throwing up a lot is a sign of guilt and her gaining weight to, but those can also be signs of her being pregnant.

Really if you want to know just ask her if she is and if you don't trust her answer then ask her to please take a pregnancy test.

See the thing is, we haven't been intimate since the first week of January; so I know if she is, it certainly isn't mine (even if my vascectomy was not successful...which it was).

She would not openly admit that she's pregnant yet, or take a test, as that would validate the fact that she's been having sex with OM, which she still says she's not.

I'll find out one of a few ways...either she'll start showing, she'll tell me, or I'll find out covertly.

Like I said earlier, there's no point for me to dwell on it until it's a certainty. Like noliving pointed out, there could be several reasons for her "symptoms" right now.

In any case, you'll sure know in plenty of time for the August court date.

So we talked about this possibly happening GF, remember?

I think your WW is capable of anything at this point, even trying to trap OM with a pregnancy.

I remember she told you she was unhappy because she had gained 6 pounds. And that was before she left for this last shag-a-thong.

Lord help her if she intentionally brings an innocent child into this mess. BTDT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Why don't you simply hand her a pregnancy test kit and request she take it?

Just another thing to keep in mind, if she is indeed pregnant she may have an abortion without you knowing so you will never know unless she tells you.

Do what resilient says.

I know I'm jumping the gun here, but for arguments sake lets say she is and its OM's.

In the State of WA as her legal husband, you will be deemed the legal father in every way incl. monetarily until proven otherwise (aka DNA testing); even if your wife says its not yours and its OM's. Your last name will appear on the birth certificate, and if she was to leave you for OM you may be paying child support for a term for this hypothetical-OC (other child) that may not even be living with you.

Based on the above, I think its very important you find out as soon as you can if she is pregnant. Do not assume you can't be impacted just because you happen to know its not yours, and don't assume the legal system will protect you. Its focus will be on the wellbeing of the child. There are regs in place until paternity is proven where you are legally considered the default father until that happens, which can be several months if not a year or two after its born.

Be warned, and not blindsided again. Know your legal rights BEFORE, even if its only a possibility.

Jo

Bumping for Good Father.

Sorry...up at MIL's for the weekend. I'll give a full update tomorrow; including what my wonderful WW did for my birthday yesterday!

Ok, so this is what happened over the weekend.

Saturday morning started off with a bang. DD had a ballet recital, and I could only find one of her slippers, so I went to check WWs car to see if the missing one was in there; the slipper wasn't in there, but there was a bag with contraceptives and libricant behind the passenger seat. Two applications were gone and the bottle of lubricant was obviously used.

DD needed to be there at 10 for dress rehearsal. Of course WW wasn't ready, so I took DD myself. WW was finally ready three hours later. The recital went until 5, and then we drove up to MIL's house because they wanted to do a nice dinner for me for my birthday and to celebrate Mother's Day.

On the drive up (it's a 3-4 hour drive based on the boarder crossing) I got some interesting info. WW doesn't love me anymore because there is no "spark", she doesn't feel challenged by me, and she doesn't find me physically attractive. To top it off..."I'm in love with OM". But she also maintains that they've never had sex, and that she had used the contraceptives "just in case things led to sex".

Another little interesting fact about Saturday...it was the 7 year anniversary of the first time we met face to face.

Happy Birthday Good Father...here's your present...a knife stabbed a little bit further into your heart!!!

So we finally made it to MIL's house and we had dinner, then DD and I performed the ballet show...it was a lot of fun, but afterwords I just got so depressed, I went out onto the balcony and broke down. I was tired, a little tipsy, and in a lot of pain, and couldn't hold it in anymore. MIL's "partner" (they are gay) came out and found me like that, so she tried to just keep me company and talk to me...her son is breaking up with his high school sweetheart that he's been married to for something like 17 years.

Sunday was much better. WW and I went out shopping for MIL, and just had a nice walk and casual talk (none of the tough stuff). We all went out to brunch together, then we hit the road. The drive home was a lot less brutal, and we stopped in Seattle and I bought her a couple shirts from her favorite store. When we got home, I made everyone dinner, bathed DD and got her into bed, and then WW and I watched Gray's Anatomoy together. Halfway through the show WW went to call OM, but cut the call short to come back inside and finish watching with me. I set up the "foot spy" thing that MIL got WW for Christmas, and WW got to enjoy watching her favorite show, and getting her feet pampered, with me.

Saturday night WW had told me that she had gotten a lecture from MIL while I was out on the balcony...so I'm guessing that MIL told her to ease up on me a bit and try to be nice. So Sunday was probably all an act, but ohh well, she still got the chance to see that things can be good with me if she'll let them.

Ohh, and apparently thier current plan is for him to move out here, since I'm not going to give up DD so she can take DD and live in VA.

I did ask her "So a couple months ago you told me that I had nothing to worry about, there is no way you could have a relationship with him because he's so damaged. Also, you said that he wants to have a family of his own, with his own children...so how are you handling the fact that you never want to be pregnant again? Does he know that?"

Her reply: "He's not damaged now that ex-gf is out of his life. And we've not gotten to the kids talk yet."

There is no way that WW is going to find true long-lasting happiness with this guy...how long until she's able to figure that out?


Even though I didn't react when she told me she loves him, I did tell her exactly what I thought of him...probably a mistake.

She said: why are you so against him being a part of DD's life?

me: because the guy's a slimeball

ww: why?

me: because he's not man enough to go out and court a woman, he has to find a woman in a rocky marriage that isn't happy.

ww: he didn't persue me.

me: doesn't matter...he's still a slimeball for f***ing a married woman.

ww: we haven't had sex.

me: Ok, so if he's so wonderful...would he love you even if you were 270lbs again? Or is he too shallow and will only love you the way you are now?

ww: I don't think he would...but it doesn't matter because I'm not 270lbs, and I won't be again.

me: right, so it's ok for him to be shallow since you'll never be heavy again.


Then she picked up her phone and called him. I was driving and DD was asleep in the back seat. I just opened up all the windows and the sunroof so WW couldn't hear anything and just had to hang up.


Ohh you are all probably dying to know about the whole pregnancy thing. More than likely shes not. First her doctor gave her prescriptions for really strong antibiotics that any sane doctor would never prescribe to a pregnant patient, and secondly she's still smoking and drinking, which are things she refused to do when she was pregnant with DD.

According to her story, the reason for her symptoms is because of the bladder infection she had a few weeks ago didn't get killed off by the last batch of antibiotics...it spread to her kidneys and for some reason it's keeping her body from thinking it's getting the nutrients it needs, so it's telling her she needs to eat. That also explains the water retention and weight increase.

GF,

I hope that you are not under the illusion that the A is not a PA. Remember, believe nothing your WW says and only half of what you see.

Your Plan A sounds good, although I am not much in favor of purchasing things for a WW while she is a WW. But you are doing well on that front.

"Then she picked up her phone and called him. I was driving and DD was asleep in the back seat. I just opened up all the windows and the sunroof so WW couldn't hear anything and just had to hang up."

I'm pic2ring this and laughing my beautox off! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Be prepared for anything, GF. That's all I ask. I sure get this strong impression that this is her MO for changing relationships.

-ol' 2long

It is a waste of time to try to lecture a WW.

Why do you allow your WW to play you for a fool by continuing to deny that she’s had sex with OM. Every time she claims otherwise, call her up on it. Your WW obviously thinks you are the biggest fool alive. I wonder why?