How about on a book shelf - or in the ceiling on top of the ceiling tile? It may be hard to pull off - but it's a good idea.

His blackberry is through Cingular. I have access to his email account with Blackberry which he has no idea about. The problem is his text messages don't go through his email account so he as soon as he deletes them they're gone. I check his phone all the time but if he deletes them before he gets home I have no way to retrieve them.

He works in a retail setting so I'd have to find a way to get it behind a register or somewhere else without him or anyone else seeing me. I got a sitter for the kids tonight so I can go see how they behave when they leave. Today will be the first they've seen or talked to eachother in a week so I figured this was my best chance. Especially wanted to do it after my 4 yr old told my H he was supposed to be married to the OW. I'm not sure how he responded to her but after school she told me he wasn't married to her anymore. It's been so strange because my 2 yr old son usually never has anything to do with my H but since the OW has been on vacation he can't get enough of him. maybe he's sensing a change in him that I'm too defensive to see right now. Thing is that our EN's haven't been met in so long I don't even think my son knows what it's like to have my H present.

Keep checking. He'll slip up eventually.

So yesterday my H told me that he wasn't sure if he had feelings for OW but he might in the future. Problem is that he refuses to sever their relationship. They work together and he has decided he wants a professional acquintance relationship with her. I understand they have to be civil but if he is concerned that there is a possibility he could develope feelings for her if he doesn't already have them then why risk it. I told him he should transfer out to another store or ask her to but he doesn't want to. Last night I basically told him that if he could not stop talking to her then he needed to leave but nothing. He just pretended everything was fine. he says he can tell her he can't talk to her anymore but he'll still want to be there for her. My friend says I should call the OW but I'm not sure. Do I tell him to leave or not? Should I call her and if so what do I say? I'm 7 mos pregnant and have 3 kids how do I deal with this?

Mellysue

I am adding my new thread to this one hoping for as much help as I can get!

TIA
Mellysue


Reged: 03/23/06
Posts: 18
I just spoke with OW-changed thread name
#3009125 - 05/08/06 05:38 PM
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Yesterday the OW's boyfriend called my H and asked to meet with him so they could discuss the "situation". I then got the phone number for the boyfriend and called him to see where he stood. Well I found out that the OW has been telling him that my H has been pursuing her since day one. She has expressed a discomfort with the situation to her boyfriend but doesn't feel like it necessarily bothers her so she chose to leave it alone. They then became extremely close and it's now been a seven month battle. Anyway, this is all coming on the coattails of the OW finding out I have her basic info (i.e. her address, phone number, etc.) which if she's just my H "friend" shouldn't I have that info anyway. After my H then shows her the email that I was going to send to her she decided to have her boyfriend, which is a tern I use very loosely in this case, call my H and ask for a meeting with all 4 of us. Well I agree my H does not and they end up cancelling anyway. Somehow I am now this crazy mother of 3 with one on the way stalker. I'm not really sure how I became the villain here but oh well. My H supposedly finally sees her for the scandalous person she is. However, I spoke with the OW today and she claims no wrong doing even though she has made jokes about putting her calls under another name on his cell and has commented on being the OW. She is very attention seeking and plays the damsel in distress very well. My concern now is whether or not to trust my H again after this EA. She has more information about my marriage than I do at this point because my H goes to her as his crying shoulder and vice versa. He works side by side with this woman everyday adn says he'll transfer but he's said that before. Just as he was supposed to be making this a professional relationship but was still showing her my emails and telling her that he hopes she's comfortable with him. Obviously he is upset with her at the moment for playing him(his words) but will that last. She basically just laid into me this morning about how I was a bad wife and person. And giving me marriage advice. But in the midst of all that she also told me that my H collegues all sit around and laugh at me and how I feel about their relationship. Apparently I'm just petty. I am so torn as to what to do. Please Help!

Mellysue

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believer
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Reged: 09/20/03
Posts: 14703
Re: I just spoke with OW-changed thread name [Re: mellysue]
#3009138 - 05/08/06 05:55 PM
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Typical behavior from someone interfering in a marriage. I would request that your husband find another job. Also see if he will go to counseling, because apparently he doesn't know how to honor his marriage.

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mellysue
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Reged: 03/23/06
Posts: 18
Re: I just spoke with OW-changed thread name [Re: believer]
#3009750 - 05/09/06 09:26 AM
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My H is fianlly agreeing to counseling and I'm glad but I feel so betrayed. It was bad enough when I just knew there was an EA but to find out he has told her as many details about our marriage as he did is earth shattering. Not only did he devulge our information but also my past. All the hurt that I felt before has now been magnified 100x over. I am a very private person and now a whole workplace knows everything about my past and is making jokes about it. To make matters worse I just sat there and took all the things she said. I hold her just as responsible as my H but I didn't say a word. I am so disappointed in myself for not standing up for myself while she judged me and tore me down as a human being. Obviously it was my husband who painted me in such a light but where does somebody who knows she's interfering in a marriage and family get off lecturing me. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it. I'm just not sure how to resolve my hurt or the disappointment I feel about how this played out with the OW.

Mellysue