Cy:

Well, if that convo don't blow the $h!+ off a flat rock!

The no brainer, from ol' 2long's view, is the proceeding with the DV as planned.

Wow...


you know, guys? You Cy, Binder, Gc, and all of us (the chicks 2!) will realize at some point - assuming you haven't already... ...you don't need 2 get your lives back.



You never lost yourselves.

I never did either.

But during the "early days" post d-day, we may have felt pretty lost.

Now we know, not only were we not lost, but we've learned some valuable lessons and will be far less likely 2 be subjected 2 the same pain again.

Things are looking up!

-ol' 2long <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

If she is getting advice from a lawyer (likely if divorce is pending), #3 is the only one he would have any real opinion on. Are you sure it is her talking or her lawyer talking through her?

Oh Cy,

I am blushin'. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I feel privileged. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Aloha nui,
L.

Tracionado,

My WW has had legal counsel for almost two years but I very much doubt that her refusal emanated from him. She has always done exactly what she wants , when she wants it done and how she wants it done. She is a self admitted control freak.

If it comes up during our court ordered mediation, I am sure that will be the first that he(attorney) hears about it.

2long,

I agree, there is nothing more efficient at discombobulating and vaporizing the sense of direction than an A. It is like getting hit in the head and knocked off a boat. Now you are in mortal danger from drowning but as you struggle to keep your nose in the air, your mind is desperately trying to figure out how you got there in the first place.If you survive the first blow AND trust in your own goodness and sanity, you may pull youself out of the river early on.

Sometimes that darn current is so strong and the water soo cold, that it takes a while to start that dog paddle to safety.

What happened today at the mediation meeting was so typical of WW that I had to laugh. Well I really was stunned and then angry but I am laughing now.

This mediation session was important because it would be the first opportunity for my new lawyer to meet WW. We all sit down and her attorney starts talking over some basics and Iinterrupted and stated to avoid confusion like last time I wanted to tape the meeting. Her attorney immediately stood up and said "We are done here" and started to walk out. I started to follow but my attorney jumped up and got us all to sit back down and he motioned for me to put away the recorder. I have to admit that I got a lot of satisfaction seeing her lawyer get hot and so quickly.

He then said that his client had been very lenient and cooperative especially with the "terrible manner that Dr Cymanca has been behaving". Now it was my turn to jump up and ask what in the heck he was talking about. It turns out he was talking about my exposure letter!!!! This letter is now about 2 years old.

My guy than states that he is encouraged by the fact that my WW and I are talking and especially that we were talking reconciliation. Her lawyer snaps his head over to WW and says "what??????"

So I chip in that we were very close to agreeing on a reconciliation except for one point.

Now, hold on to your hat, my WW stammers and says and I quote "We were only talking about a settlement on the divorce, we never discussed a reconciliation."

Now it is my lawyers turn to snap his head over to me with an incredulous look. I whispered that I had tons of emails and the proposal and her refusal. So I went from stunned to angry and things did not get any better.

For some unknown reason her attorney kept taunting me with quick put downs and basically smart *ss remarks. I looked at my attorney to see if he was ready to protect me but he seemed oblivious to what was going on. Finally her attorney said that if I was to receive certain monies for a real estate deal that I was pulling off the "slickest deal he had ever seen".

Now I will admit to having a temper but I need to be pushed a LOT to get it to show but he definitely pushed the right button. I stood up and asked how he interpreted anything that we were discussing as me "getting a deal". In a loud voice I reminded him that I had paid for 90% of everything during and after our marriage so my opinion was that it was someone else in the room that was getting a slick deal. I further told him that I was sick of his remarks and his attitude and then I got in his face and told him to "[censored] off* and then I walked out of the room. Probably not a smart move but it felt gooooood.

I went home and when I got there WW had already emailed me saying

Quote: What happened??? I know this is very uncomfortable but I thought we were getting somewhere. Are you OK??????

Hey Cy,

You really did blow up didn't you?

Oh, well. You're lucky you threw in #3 - the one that hit her in the pocket. How revealing.

2long is right.

I hope it's actually true that you're doing swell.

Whenever I think of you I remember the photo you put in your office... That RULED.

GC

Cy,

I wonder where she thought SHE was getting?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Here lawyer sounds like the type that lawyer jokes are made from. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Have you heard from your lawyer? What was his take on this mess? Do send him a copy of the emails, that should be very interesting.

Oh! and my bet her lawyer is fishing to see if there is something he needs to grab on to. Next time just sit there, or perhaps insist on that tape recording. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I do like that.

Sorry this is not going better, but someone is really missing the picture here and it sounds like your W is actually on another planet, giving further credence to WAT's alien abduction theories. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Good night and God Bless,

JL

interesting story...i hope your tape recorder was off when you said "f-off"...anyway...you know that once atty's are involved any sense of ethics and right and wrong are gone...its all about winning at any cost...

i have a friend that went through a similiar situation...if you truely have emails that point towards reconcilliation and want to "box" alittle more with her atty...just "float" this idea her way that you believe her atty is blocking any chance of reconcilliation and you now blame him for breaking up your marriage....you plan to sue him for malpractice...and have him removed from your case for conflict of interests as he now is a party to the lawsuit....just float the idea on the phone...NOT email so you can deny anything if it ever becomes an issue...

just keep your emotions in check!!

good luck

GC,

Yes, I am doing well. From just saying that I had given all, to a deep conviction that I truly have, gives me a certain peace and acceptance.

JL,

Until this meeting, I had thought very highly of her attorney. He was praised highly by my dear friend Rev Mike and I thought he had handled himself well. I don't know if his true colors came out or he was just frustrated.

I spoke to my attorney a while ago and he said that it might get uglier. He feels that the other attorney may start to bury us in audits and expensive accounting reviews.This often happens when one party is determined to have his day in court(me) and the other party is terrified by it.

Thanks for your blessing and good night

sturgis,

My attorney is new and I don't want to lose him so I probably need to run anything by him.

I feel a little sheepish that I lost my temper but I just got tired of this circus.

I also realize now that I should have dealt with the attorney's attitude. I also realize that my blow up was probably triggered by my WW's blatant lie.

im a cop...not an atty...but in dealing with atty's for over 20 yrs...i have come to look at it as a game of sorts or wits...just keep your cool...the more you DONT react even when they come at you with outrageous claims or issues...you leave them for a loss at what to do next...

its actually kinda fun as long as you keep your wits about you and keep the guy and you wife in perspective...

they will paint you as a "hot head" and hostile after this last meeting....just be prepared!

sturgis,

Thanks for the advice. Yeah he may consider me a hothead and hostile but in reviewing medical malpractice cases, I have often been faced with some of the most obnoxious, baiting, arrogant, name calling attorneys. I was always able to keep a smile on my face. I would rather blow up now than at the trial.

Do you really think this divorce will not go through until you are in tiral?

wow

Pep,

Yes, I am afraid so. The problem is with their interpretation of California law. They want to have no legal obligation to pay for any jointly accrued debts but insist on not only getting any potential asset but in also putting an inflated value on that asset.

Just plain greed.

I just came back from a conference with my attorney this am in regards to a mandatory settlement conference required by California law. I got a copy of the declarations from STBXW and my eyes popped open.

She now wants me to reimburse her for the money I sent to my living on social security mother and my sister who has battled back from 2 brain aneurysm surgeries.

If I could stop laughing I guess I would cry.

she's a b*tc* your STBXW

... sorry ... slipped a DJ right in there

In a community property state you are entitled to full reimbursement of any marital assets she spent on or gave to any OM.

In a well publicized case here a WH gave a $30, 000 ring to his OW. He died. The widow found out and successfully sued to have it returned to the estate. It went all the way to the State Supreme Court but she won, with interest too.

Aphelion,

Thanks so much. I am way beyond laughter now.

i havent read your history...but did you take any vacations or "family" trips during her A, i heard once that someone sued his X for reimbursement, for breach of trust or false pretense or something like that....

remember...its game on now...its not about right or wrong, its about WINNING!

come at her with your own outlandish demand. (then laugh)

take care!