Eav's thread got me thinking about how they just move on. Replace you, etc. I think about this often, usually when it's 3am and I am not sleeping. With WH, [censored], whatever I should call him, now trying to refinance the house so he can live there and OW can too, I can't help but wonder HOW IN THE HECK can he do that? Has he no heart at all?

This is our dream house. And yes, I know there will be another house for me one day that I will be so proud of because I will have pulled myself up and worked to get it, but I still wonder HOW?

It was July 05. WH was at a conference for a tutoring program he was chosen to be on a team to implement. OW was on the same team. There were 7 other teachers and the principal at this confernece in Austin. They were gone five nights. I was 14 weeks preggers, and we had had this house for just about two months.

I decided to surprise him and paint two rooms in the house while he was at the conference. Turns out that was when they started "being there" for each other. (GAG!) And he is now gonna try to live there with her!

Seems like she is walking in and just taking over.

Know what he said yesterday to me as he was in the process of telling me if I did not agree to the quick claim deed then he would just move in the house (we never lived there--we were fixing it up to move in in January after baby was born) and make me pay my half of the mortgage and refuse any offer that came in on the sale of the house--so I said--well, I have keys since it is my house, too, and I can come and go as I like.

He says: Go ahead, intexas, come in. But hope you don't mind walking in on something you don't want to see.

Cruel.

There is no other word for him.

If we weren't talking about financial issues, we would not have been on the phone. I have been wonderful at keeping contact to a minimum.

Baby steps. Just need to take baby steps right now I guess.

What does your attorney say about his plans for the house?

Well, I called her more about the refinancing thing and the quick claim deed stuff.

I haven't asked her if he could move back in before it was sold, but i see no reason why not since it is empty and both o our names are on the mortgage. I think it would hurt the sale of the house, and I think if he does live there then he should pay the whole mortgage, but he says I am required to pay half.

Guess this does warrant ANOTHER call to the lawyer and one more thing to make this process drag on.

Yup, your lawyer should be able to protect you in this.

I was typing a post to Grapegirl and got interrupted by the phone--

seems my Ben who is at a sleepover with my dear friend and his buddy (something he has done on numerous occasions) and is flipping out and wants to come home. I tried to talk to him but couldn't even hear him he was so hysterical.

I am crying.

I can't go get him. I am working--I manage a non-profit charity house and there is no one here but me. It's a big sleepover (birthday party) and can't leave to bring him because there are 4 boys there and her car will not fit them all. (and they are all asleep but Ben).

And I don't know who I would call this late at night to help me out. I have no family here in texas. Family would do that kind of stuff for you.

This is when I want to take WH and say all the mean things I have said and thought in my mind, but never let out because I'm the nice one with self-control. He'll be by tomorrow to pick them up, and I swear i want to give him a piece of my mind for once.

This makes me want to lose that self-control and let him know just one more way his personal happiness has hurt his FAMILY. But he wouldn't answer the phone anyway. He is over 100 miles away at OW's house.

I am sorry if I am venting again, but that's my boy and he wants his mommy. And I can't leave.

My friend said she would call me back when he calmed down. He had been crying over 30 minutes when she called. Her H left her suddenly for an OW one week before mine did, and they have already been divorced 5 months. So she understands the hardships that come with single parenting.

I just want to hold my little guy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

(((intexas)))
Its a helpless feeling being stuck. I hope your little guy settles down soon...maybe he just got tooo wired at the sleepover.

Its tough when you have a limited support system. I'd go get him for ya but by the time I get there from New Jersey it would be next week!

intexas - I'm sure he will calm down, and be just fine. But I understand exactly how you feel. When my son's dad left, and I had to go back to work, I left my 3 year old at day care. The first day he spent peering through a knot hole in the fence, waiting for me to come back.

Thanks Chacha.

Oh Believer that is so sad!

That's another worry of mine--I have to start teaching in the fall and I will work this evening job probably also, so my stay-at-home mom days are gone--which means the BABY has to go somewhere as well as my 3 yr. old.

I keep reminding myself that this is only temporary. And that they are God's kids more than they are mine--and He will take care of all of us.

Believer--this just caught my eye. That just seems to so fit my life right now. Who said that?

Can the WS come pick up your son? Highly inconvenient for the WS but it is his son.

L.

Lovely idea--but the latest from WH is his car is again broken down and he has to borrow a car tomorrow to come and get them. Plus, he is over 100 miles away in OW's town.

And you know what--it's a shame that it is "inconvenient" to pick him up!!!
I don;t get mad often--honestly, I don't. But I have never felt so helpless when it comes to my kids before, and I want to go get him.

If it were me, I'd call and tell him to come get his son. If he says no, it w/b a point to remember. This c/b a very telling sitch even if your son stays right where he is for the night.

Gotta love playing the 'ws guilt trump card'. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

JMHO,
L.

My friend just called--he is sound asleep on the couch.

She had to give him a twix, orange juice and let him watch Spiderman--but he calmed down.

Poor guy. Aside from the belly ache he's gonna have from that concotion this late at night, I am sure he is just pooped.

It's amazing the way our hearts hurt for our kids.

I am just so glad he's asleep now and calmed down. I am gonna try to get some zzzz's myself. I work this weekend (ALLLLLL weekend til Monday a.m.--so i need to get the sleep in when I can).

Thanks guys for letting me come here and vent.

I *heart* MB and all of you guys.

I have to agree with the first paragraph!

Also, SM, I want to suggest you have your daughter baptized if it you wish - if it would help you. If Tex can handle it alone, let her be your example. Would you have to tell WH? Is he living at home? If not, just do it. For you. (Sorry, but I don't do a good job keeping up w/ all the stories.

(As for me, well, Sunday is Baby Day at church. They started doing it the year after x left or the year after my son was born. I don't remember which. It's now been 10 years since he moved out. I still choose not to go to church that day. Just too painful for me. I am glad, however, that they do it. Just don't want to go.)

I would have called him if I thought he cared even an ounce, but he doesn't. He's so deep in the selfishness of himself that he would twist it to me being hurtful, etc (insurt any guilt-ridden word here) because i should know that he can't leave. And I don't want to deal with anymore of his crackity-crud tonight.

This is the same man who wouldn't come when I thought I was in labor--it was New Year's afterall, and he was out.

One day, he'll have to relive all of this in his heart, mind...whole self.

When our son was 6 and had to go to emergency due to an asthma attack... I called the WS. He was too busy getting ready for his 'vacation to Yosemite' with the OW. He has had that guilt every since and I don't take it away from him. I don't shove it in his face but I don't relieve him of his guilt. That's his issue.

Glad your son is asleep. Poor little tyke. Life is rough for them 2. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

It is part of the coping skills both you and the children will need to develop. You will have anger issues as a result but you can give that guilt to the WS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.

Let's take all the idiot guys who walk out on their babies and do something mean to them.....I don't know what is mean enough - Maybe I can think of something.....

Like, let them be pregnant and have toddlers and get morning sickness and house construction fumes and no family within 5 hours and a stopped up toilet. Oh, and baby dedication/baptism with lots of other families and no one there with them and their babies.

Is that mean enough?

[color:"blue"] LOL!!!!! [/color]

Talk about bad grammar - that stream of consciousness typing can be convoluted.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

If that c/b, the EN list for men would change drastically. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

I am imaginative but not mean.....and I am all for emotional healing.

I wouldn't do anything mean to someone else but I can sure create a fantasy cruelty. Like 'total body tweezing' for bad guys/girls. Just think about how painful it would be to have your armpits tweezed. Or the back of your neck. Or your nether regions. And, of course, regrowth is terrible so you would have to keep it up permanently.