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No rush, sfjaj...hey, I was thinking about abbreviating your name (an indulgence of mine) and I wondered...
Would it be okay with you to call you Ja? Very agreeable name, I think.
LA
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Okay, anyone else want to do this with me? ::  ::: I just believe that these exercises...all the books...all the messages I got while seeking to stop my WH's A, recover my marriage and get to where I am now are important. They aren't psychobabble, misters rogers talk or silly to me. BS and FWS could greatly benefit, I believe, as I did. I see all the torment, anger, pain on these infidelity boards...and I learned that striking back, enforcing boundaries and allow yourself to do what you won't allow done to you, is harmful. I hope someone else will want this...to know themselves, stop fearing for their lives and want to live whole. Guess this should be in the prayer section. My childish self is showing. LA
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Sign me up, LA. I did something like this in regards to grief. It was a grief timeline, where you write down all of the things that made you sad, your whole life. IT REALLY WORKS!!!!
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Sure, LA. I could use the exercise too.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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hi LA...
good grief....where do I begin???
"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?" (Chris Rock)
"Its better to die standing, than live a lifetime on your knees" (Pancho Villa)
"We just wanna be free to ride our machines and not get hassled by the Man!" (Easy Rider)
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{{{{believer!}}}}}}{{{{{FF}}}}}}}{{{{Sturg!}}}}
Thank you guys so much...hey, I want to do the grief timeline...oooohhhhh.....putting that on my to do list...
Did you make your list of people and their characteristics yet?
If you did, list the characteristics in your post...things that tick you off...try to get all of them down and find where they repeat...don't repeat them...just post one of each...
(Simple exercise)....
On the grief timeline..do you do that chrono? past to present or present to past?
LA
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Would it be okay with you to call you Ja? Hi LA. Ja - or variously "Jah" - has special meaning to Rastafarians. It's their term for The Big Guy. I'll bet sfjaj doesn't want to take that chance. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> So what's the name game? Banana mana fo fana.....? WAT
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LOL!
Thanks for the headsup, WAT. Man, acronymia is a science, huh?
Such an agreeable name, Germanically speaking...isn't it?
When she comes back (and she will...I have faith in her)...I'll call her Jaj...
...fee fi fo fana...hmmmm
Watwatbobatfeefifofat, WAT!
No fun. No fun at all.
LA
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LA - I;m still working on my list. At first I thought it would be easy, but I'm being careful to be sure to list the top ten.
The grief time line starts with when you were born, and has dates, etc. I included things like when my favorite pony was sold when I was 6, my grandmother's death at 7, etc.
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Thanks, believer... I asked my DH if he wanted to do the grief timeline with me, when we were at dinner last night. He said it sounded really interesting and that he's in. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I'll begin mine today. Let you know how it goes. LA
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I'd like to do this too. It will take me a bit to make my list so feel free to go on with the others. I'll catch up.
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Very cool, TO4T...thank you for joining us.
Believer? I had 14, so limiting won't necessarily hurt, keeping to your top ten...but I found it truly surprising that I could come up with 14 when I had believed I had no one I was angry with...hated, etc.
LA
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I will start on mine. Sorry been trying to catch up with paper work at home.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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LA, I came up with 9 names. Only 1 is close to "hatred" and it's not the one you would think. The rest runs more between "disappointed" and "angry". (I think) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Here's my list of characteristics -- in no particular order of repetitiveness. Disrespectful Deceitful Unfaithful Hurtful Lazy Irresponsible Self-centered Selfish Immoral Uncaring Enabling Is this what your looking for? to4t
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Can one more participate?
Here is my list -- I hope it is okay that the same descriptive words were used for different people.
self-centered
hypocrite
gossip
bigot
backstabber
hurtful
liar
backstabber
liar
self-serving
what is next?
hns
Me - 56 (ENFP, 6w7, Keirsey Idealist)
H - 57 (INTJ)
M April 1989 (together since 1983)
DDay 6/26/2004 (found out true length 08/2005)
DD 17 & DS 15
Still in recovery
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Of course, H&S! These are great lists... TO4T...At first, I thought you alphabetized. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And yes...if these are like your pet peeves...what gets under your skin, catches your awareness and focus...hard to pin an emotion when the emotions vary, huh? H&S...I see some repeats on your list...now, did you write several things for each person on your list, or just one? Just curious. LA (Thought I'd wait a day for anyone else to join in before the next part...could you both tell me what you experienced emotionally from writing these down...)
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hi LA....
lifes been crazy for me last few days at work with the potests and lakers games in town....
been on max deployment so i havnt had much time, ill try and catch up later!!!
"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?" (Chris Rock)
"Its better to die standing, than live a lifetime on your knees" (Pancho Villa)
"We just wanna be free to ride our machines and not get hassled by the Man!" (Easy Rider)
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Hi LA,
I'd like to do this exercise with you, too, if you don't mind! I'll work on my list today and let you know what I come up with.
Never underestimate the power of joy. ~ star*fish
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Happy you're here, Happy! That's too many happys... Can we have too many happys? Sturg is on MAX deployment...so I'm sure we can wait for you...until I get answers on what TO4T and H&S, I'm just hanging out. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> LA
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I think you can never have too many happys! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
I have 11 people on my list. The first one was easy, the rest took a little longer. But then my list of characteristics was pretty easy to do, and it's pretty long! (I see what you mean about having to write small)
Cruel (came up 3 times)
Controlling (5 times)
Perfectionistic (2)
Dishonest (5)
Manipulative (6)
Disrespectful (3)
Insecure (5)
Cowardly (1)
Selfish (2)
Judgmental (3)
Whiny (2)
Materialistic (1)
Vain (1)
Gossipy (1)
Irresponsible (1)
What next?
Never underestimate the power of joy. ~ star*fish
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