had another date, err session today.

some bad news with this one. hot therapist wasn't happy with me for bringing some old relationships, ex friendships back into my life. i tried to explain that i was tying up loose ends and also trying to make second rate relationships into first rate ones and she slapped me down. basically i have started slipping back into some co-dependency due to new stresses in my family life (a sick relative) and my overreaction to getting along with the ex. she wants me to be more wary of my stbx due the incredible amount of discord that went on at the end of the marriage and during the breakup over the last six months.

while she was excited about the positive relationships in my life including a new one that is quite first rate, she told me that my mood/attitude/demeanor/and body language were all familiar with a few weeks ago when we started.

she suggested talking to my stbx less. even reverting back to the email, voicemail relationship the stbx and i had two months ago. she also suggested cutting off total contact with the bad friends/second rate reltionships period. she knows this will cut my circle of friends and aquaintences down considerably but she tells me that when the d goes final next month that i will not be ready to move forward.

i never thought the fear of loneliness would do this much damage but i am heeding her advice. i feel very happy but i also feel anxious. this was the first non positive session i had had in several weeks. i guess i was due for a setback.

next date/session is the 24th.

sad smiley here

hmm... I am in a bit of a rush right now but I will DEFINITELY comment on this later!

mlhb

For the record, since there are message board shrinks out there, i told hot therapist what i write about and say. She laughed, a lot. She thought my writing was cathartic and positive. She thought me thinking she was attractive was funny and flattering and returned the compliment. She tells her husband about the funny, attractive, and interesting clients she has. so that is that.

next date/session is May 24th.

i feel better already....eye roll

ok, i have a minute or 2 now and wanted to comment here...

too funny you told hot therapist what you write.. just think, she is discussing you with her husband... hmm.. hope she doesn't tell him everything! i am sure though that broke up some of the strain you may have felt in this last session/i'm sorry, date..

i tend to agree with what she is saying gekko.. you don't pay her the big bucks for nothing. miraculous changes will not happen over night and it may take you a time or two before you "get it right" and are able to keep the unhealthy relationships out of your life for good. BUT IT WILL HAPPEN. of this i am quite certain. you have a plan, you have goals, you know how you want your life to be. i try to live my life as though it already is the way i want it to be. it gets me there a little more quickly... at least i like to think so.

i applaud you so much for continuing to go to therapy. you are not crazy, this we know! but i think it is helping you to get to where you want to be. if that means she has to kick you in the a** once in awhile with a reality check, so be it. the woman knows her stuff.

mlhb

Thursday, yesterday, was another date, I mean session with hot therapist. Since My last unofficial poll counted 14 people who think it's funny that I refer to her as hot therapist and talk about what she looks like to 3 people who are offended by it, I will continue the comedic theme. This time was much more positive. She seemed impressed with how I was handling the stress of my grandfather's illness, my ex's continued ill will, the loss of relationships and the start of new ones. She was very intriqued with My weekend and how I was able to let loose, guilt free, and use that unwinding period to evaluate my progress overall. She see great improvement in my coping skills with family, work, and friends. We didn't talk much about entering into a new relationship but we concentrated on the old ones and how the reactions of those people have not refelected negatively on my future as they did say a month ago. The biggest improvement in my emotional health has been in being able to balence the nice guy/caretaker part of me with the loose, embarkment on a new life part that is needed for me to break away from the ex and start anew, possibly with someone very soon. Like a kid in trouble at school she had me write out on dry erase board my "triggers" or things that made me feel pressured, stressed, gulity, etc. I found that many mistakes I had made over the past six months were being a prisoner to these triggers and found myself free from most of them. Last week tiffs and stress actually helped me as I used the weekend to get over them rather than stew over them. Next week's session will mark two months in therapy. She, hot therapist, believes that will be a time to evaluate whether I need to continue. It was a good session and I realized how far i had come since late March. I believe the biggest thing I have gotten from therapy is that there is nothing "wrong" with me and I do not have to carry the weight of the world and everyone else's world on my shoulders. and she's hot therapist (lol).