Hello Hurting~
My weekend was okay, but I too was feeling down- just going
through the mood cycles, I guess.
Thought about the things WH and I would normally have been doing on a warm, beautiful weekend, and suddenly felt very bored and very alone.
I doubt WH having a very terrific weekend, since his court
date (for the DUI) is tomorrow and he is undoubtedly very
nervous and anxious. Even though he certainly got himself
into all this mess, I do feel worried too, about both his
mental state and what might happen. If he loses his job
due to whatever "sentence" he might get it's going to cause
big problems for me too, since he pays a big "chunk" of
our joint bills and expenses, and carries our health insurance. I feel sad to be left out "of the loop" too, not knowing much about what's happening, and not going to court with him.

Also wonder if he was honest and OW is just staying at his
house temporarily or if she really did "move in". Could be
true that she's just there in process of moving (I do know
OW was renting and did see WH had some appointments with realtors a couple of months ago so may have been helping OW find a new place) but it also sounds pretty "convenient"
with the timing of WH's move, so who knows ???
It is upsetting to think of OW being there, especially with
our furniture and things, but maybe it could be good if
it causes WH to see "everyday life" and not just "fantasy"
of being with OW and makes him see that life gets into a
"routine" no matter who you are with. Hopefully the close
quarters, her constant checking on him and paranoia, and
her being a "slob" (WH's words) when he is very neat will cause some nice BIG LB's !!

I don't find myself "dwelling" on WH much but I do miss H
and lots of things about our life. Although I know much of
what WH had said in his IC (our life, marriage in general
being "bland", "boring", me not being "ambitious enough" or
"challenging him") has been WS script and geared towards
trying to justify his A, I do wonder if there's some truth
in it and that makes me wonder why WH would want to come
back to me and our M, if he really is finding the freedom,
"challenge", and "excitement" he seems to want in being
"single", dating OW, living in his own place, etc...
and that makes me wonder if anything is going to be able to
change that-

Oh well, know it's okay to go through these various thoughts
and ideas, questions, and not have the answers. I will be
seeing WH this week at the "closing" on selling our piece of
land, and will either hand him, or mail the PBL to him.
I continue to work on my own issues, am thinking about some
other job options to make more money, am on a new "health
kick" starting today, and have really been praying for some
insight on what to do, how to stay patient, etc.

Hang in there !
Slammed

Slammed,

Glad your weekend went ok. I understand about thinking about things this time of year. I ca nsee my H out int he yard now palnitng his flowers and working to get things pretty. Asking me what kid of flowers I liked and the colors to get.... Pouring over JacksoN Perkins magazine to order fowers.

I have been getting the magazines in th mail, I have been just throwing them away. No flowers this year...... They yard is dead looking and will stay that way until my SIL moves in here and does something. I dont have th heart to do anything in th yard it was WH'S thing and I just cant do it...

So next b est thing is doing things for me and bein happy... We will be ok Slammed, we wll come out of this on top..... Keep your chin up ...

Hurting

hey oklahoma

working out in the yard has not been the peaceful escape it's always been for me either

i know we'll all be okay

it's just a shame that good people have to be hurt so badly by people they love

Eav,

So true , so true..... but the time will come when we will no longer hurt like we do today or how we did yesterday or weeks ago . IOur he## will be ending just as theirs begins....

Take Care,

Hurting