Okay, it is good that the affair has been exposed. That is the first step. It is often enough to completely end it, but we won't know that right away.

Do you know all about Plan A? Have you stopped the angry outbursts?

there is a gun in their house. we do not have guns.

i know about plan a and yes i have stopped the angry outburst.

I agree with Pep on the safety issue. Did the OW's husband actually make threats? Has he been volatile in the past?

he sent my husband an email today that said "Wonder" and my husband took that as a possible threat. Like you should always wonder where I am at. On the night of the reveal the other woman called and said he left and she couldn't find the gun. and she called us and told us. it freaked me out. later she called back and he had dismantled the gun. he has threatened to put a restrainging order on my husband, but told me he changed his mind.

Does he have a history of any violence?

not that i know of.

If I were OW's H ... (I'm female by the way)

I'd put a restraining order on your H
...

Call the police and ask for a temporary RO for OW ... tell police she is making threatening and harassing calls

safety first ... you cannot mother an infant and a toddler in the middle of this crisis ... I say GO stay with relatives ... invite your WH along ... but if he contacts OW ... he's then decided to drag chaos into your place of protection ... YOU and your KIDS need PROTECTION.... GO to Family and get protected from this insanity!

Pep

You could get a restraining order if he threatened your family. The only problem is an RO won't stop a bullet.

He is probably just extremely upset, but it might be a good idea to stay with some relatives for awhile.

Where is your husband in all of this?

to me this is moot

a man gets nutz when he knows a "friend" screwed his wife 2 days ago ... a lack of violent history does not comfort me right now ....SPACE between the 2 families is what is needed right now

IN MY OPINION

Pep

he said he will do whatever i think is best.

what do you think is best?

i think we need to leave.

Pack the car and go to your mom's.
you'll feel so much better for it.

Breathe- getting away will let you breathe better.

And watch out for the OW. We've had one BS here who was attacked by the OW after exposure to her husband. She beat the BS with a pool cue and put her in the hospital.

Sounds like the OW is on the verge or if not of finding other men to screw around with. She is an angry and dangerous person t/b around.

Get an RO on her and tell your H to get your family out of that area ASAP.

Your lives and ability to live in that community is in danger.

L.

Hey there,
I hope you check in today and let us know you are ok.

thinking about you

Hi SNR,

I think that your H is the one who would have to file the RO against OW and OWH because he was the one who was threatened by email (save it for proof) and by repeated unwanted phone calls from OW. Per our law (it may be different in your state) Here is what our state say's qualifies for an RO:

Am I eligible to file for a restraining order?

You are eligible to file for a restraining order if you have experienced domestic abuse within the last 180 days* by:

A current or former spouse
A person with whom you have a child in common
An adult to whom you are related by blood or marriage
A person with whom you are cohabiting
A person with whom you have cohabited
A person with whom you have been involved in a sexually intimate relationship within the last two years

If this is similar to your state then the only one would be the last one about the sexual relationship. You have not been physically aboused by your H, so H is the only one that can do it. Would he be willing to file an RO? My WH did on our OW.

If he does file the RO, he has to state that he feels threatend and afraid for his and his families safety, otherwise they will not approve it. Go to a search engine and look up your counties sherrifs office and click on restraining orders, so you can see what qualifies. They told me that the only thing I could do for myself was to file a stalking order against OW, but it was harder to get. I would have had to inform OW to stop all actions and that if she did not I would file a RO against her and save the letter or email. Then I would have had to have had another incident where OW harrased me again. You have to prove that you are being stalked or threatend. So, you see, the BS is not very protected in this situation. Your H is the one who will have to make it stop.

Here is some info on a stalking order, but again it may be different in your state:



A stalking protection order is a court order that is designed to stop someone from harassing you (or your family members). Read more about stalking orders here: What is stalking?

You may be able to get both a stalking protection order and a temporary restraining order, if both apply to your situation.

How can a restraining order protect me. A restraining order can order the abuser to:

Stop abusing, threatening, or interfering with you and any children in your custody
Stay away from your home, school, place of business, or other specified place
Leave your home if you are the sole or part owner of the home or you are married to the abuser
Remove personal belongings from the home while police stand guard
Give you temporary legal custody of the children
Give your abuser temporary custody (if you request) dependent upon certain conditions to protect the children
Allow you visitation rights to the children
Pay you emergency monetary assistance
Have no contact with you in person, by mail, or by phone
Whether a judge orders any or all of the above depends on the facts of your case.





Stalking Protection Orders


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What is a stalking protection order?

A stalking protection order is a court order that is designed to stop someone from harassing you (or your family members).

What is stalking?

Stalking is when:

A person makes you afraid by engaging in repeated and unwanted contact, OR
A person makes an immediate family (or household) member afraid by engaging in repeated and unwanted contact
To qualify as stalking, your situation ALSO must meet the following requirements:

A reasonable person in your situation would have been alarmed or coerced by the contact, and
The repeated [at least two] and unwanted contact causes you or a member of your immediate family (or household) to reasonably fear for their physical safety.
Unwanted contact is when a person:

Comes near you or into your sight
Follows you
Waits outside your home, workplace, or school
Communicates with you in any way (mail, email, phone, or through another person)
Damages your home, workplace, or school



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Am I eligible for a stalking protection order?

You may file a complaint for yourself if you are being stalked;
You may file a complaint against anyone who has stalked a member of your immediate family or household;
A parent may file a complaint to protect your children if they are under the age of 18; or
A guardian may file a complaint to protect your dependents

Today the other womans husband called and said he wanted to meet with my husband. We said we could if I could be there. My husband said that wouldn't work, so he told the other husband he could tell him what he needed on the phone. I asked him if he was calling for her to talk to my husband and he said yes so I said no. We sent her the no contact letter and that was it. So the other husband asked if he could talk again to my husband off of speaker phone and he asked me to trust him. So i did. When my husband got on the phone I could tell he was not talking to other husband he was talking to her. She was telling him that it was over because she could not be with someone who did not love her completely I asked him if it was her and he said yes. I tried to take the phone away and he turned away and he thought I was trying to hit him so he pushed me. She told him she cared about him and he would always have a place in her heart. And he hung up. I called the other husband back and told him now he is lying to me. I said please stop calling us and have your family stop calling us. That was the end. I am very angry. After that I went to my counseling session. I am just so hurt.