Im still here. I have been pretty busy with the kids. Things have been going better. We talk to one another with respect and we have stopped arguing in front of the chldren. We have had a few chances to get out and we had a good time. The OW emailed me yesterday. I blocked her email but she emailed me from ther brothers account. She told me she has a full time job and her kids are now in daycare. She is going to night school and on the weekends she spends with her husband and kids and says she has no
time, energy, or interest in disrupting my family
further. I hope that is the last time I hear from her. It just makes my head spin when they make contact.
Anyways, our anniversary is this weekend and we are going to try and go out for dinner. I want to get him a card but i don't know what to put in it. Any suggestions. Right now we are just taking it one day at a time.

SNR-glad to hear you are working on things. You sound a lot more grounded after some time has passed. I feel really bad for your loss of both the pre-A marriage, and the person you thought was such a good friend.

With such young kiddies, it's gonna be tough to get away for long for an anniversary, but you should definitely make an effort. Are there some things you and H used to like to do before the kids and the A? Something that won't trigger too many bad memories, hopefully.

Hey there,

I am so glad you posted. You really do sound so much better.

Hmmm, if I were in Austin this is what I would do:

On Friday, I'd go the Jenessa Beauty school and have a facial and all the works- facials are 1/2 price on Fridays. You'd be close to Highland mall so you could pick up something cute to wear.

I'd have dinner at Serranos Cafe & Cantina down town. I would probably skip walking on 6th- but you are younger than I am, it might not make you feel so old <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I'll be in Austin next month- I plan on doing just those things, too.

As for a card, maybe just to declare your love and restate your commitment and maybe even compliment or encourage him for the progress you are seeing in him and your relationship.

Special events like holidays are tough after and affair. Be prepared that something may trigger you. Be prepared to meet it head on.

One of my very worst trigger moments was in Austin a couple weeks after d-day. We had had a great trip down and things were going wonderful - until we went to check in to the hotel. When I handed the clerk my credit card, I felt like I would have a heart attack. I started shaking. I was barley able to sign the receipt. I was sick with the thought that they had checked into a hotel and had the clerk thought she was his wife.

When we got to the room I started crying horribly. He was very kind and answsered my questions. Although he was kind, he was shocked by such a strong reaction.

I'm not telling you that to frighten you or to make you obsess over triggers, but so you can prepare your self in the event you have one.

I hope you have a very nice time together.

When I am in Austin a few weeks, maybe we could meet for lunch and a facial? I don't even mind hanging out with your little ones.

Hang in there

SNR,
I hope I didn't scare you off saying lets meet for lunch. I surely didn't mean to do that. We might could really turn it into a party if some of the other Austin area ladies wanted to get together for a girl's day.

I hope you have a really great anniversary.

No you didn't scare me off, that sounds great. Just let me know when you are coming to town.

SNR,
I think about your situation a lot. Hope you are personally taking some time and energy for yourself for your healing. Best wishes, and I'll keep watching this space for updates.
Ima