Exvlad,

TAKE A DEEEEEP BREATH..... TAKE ANOTHER...... OK.... I PROMISE.... things will get better.....they will... you have sooo much more life ahead of you......you have NO IDEA...

At your age.... (not kncking it... ENVING it!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) You have to understand that God, life.... will show you so many more beautiful things and you will find that the things that are important today.... won't be AS important tomorrow .. these things are true really at ANY age.

Think of this.... (and I'm not putting your age down here just trying to change your focus...)

Picture a young child in a high chair...his favorite toy falls on the floor... he can't reach it...so... he crys and crys.... to this child....it's the end of the world... he can' possibly go on without this toy.... his life is terrible....

Now... what usually happens? His mother picks it back off teh floor and gives i back to him... he stops crying.... his life is good again.....

OR.... let's say the toy is broken and has sharp edges that will hurt him..... his mother will give him ANOTHER toy...
or fix this tou before she gives it back...

How does the child react? He STILL stops crying MOST of the time.....

For the child that DOESN'T stop crying.... well... is mother knows best and he's not getting that thing that will hurt him..
You are in one of these senerios.. YOU CAN'T LOSE.....if she isn't harmful to you... you'll get her back..... is she's broken and God is fixing by teaching her... (or if you don't believe.. then the Good in the world or whatever you believes runs this world....) and she'll come back better.... OR.... it may be that there is another someone out there for you that will love you the way you need to be loved.... OK?
YOU CAN DO THIS.... Are you reading this site? NO BEGGING.... NO REACTING...no LOVE BUSTING....

Now about the cats..... my opinion... you need to get rid of some.... there is NO way that it is good for the cats... your grandmother.... or you.....how can you afford to feed them??? And it is your grandparents home... don't take advantage....

No way that these cats are getting as much love and attention as they would get if it was only two in a home... maybe with children....anyway...

So I would say find homes for 16 of them....pair them up in the pairs that get along best together...so they won't miss "the pack"
and let them have a GOOD LIFE...somewhere they'll get the attention and love they deserve.....
Besides.... I'm guessing that when you and your W get back together you're planning on renting a home so you can be together again......you're talking about renting not buying right? .... NO WAY anyone is renting to you with 20 CATS!!

So if you find them good homes you won't have to RUSH them away or send them to the pound if your W wants to start over.....you'll be ready... and your GM will be happy too and you'll have some extra MONEY..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

So.... Happy birthday..... make it a new begining AGAIN....
GOOD LUCK AND PRAYERS FRANK

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