Hi jrntmsmom:

You have been in my prayers daily.

However, given your situation perhaps practical aid is better.

The url below will allow you to apply for a credit card in your name online:

http://www.creditcards.com/index.php?a_aid=1003&a_cid=1000&a_did=1184

I recommend that you access your last three income tax filings - which I will bet you can also do on line and sit down with a bank manager at an institution you have dealt with in the past - to discuss opening a small line of credit to tide you over until you are re-settled - without going in to much detail on your marital situation - just say you are in the process of splitting up and he has proved unhelpful. If you can't take in tax filings - bring him your pay stub.

You should contact the bank where your husband and you hold any joint accounts and discuss with them your separation - they can put a freeze on the withdrawal of any funds.

You can make use of free legal aid services. They are available in your community. A lawyer can help you sort out a pragmatic plan for going forward.

Call and talk to someone at a women's shelter. They will know the drill on what you should be doing to protect yourself and your family.

You are doing the right thing - the only thing you can do ... as a mom you can't put yourself or a child in harm's way... Don't even think about going back...


PB

Hi jrntmsmom,

I hope things are becoming a little easier and hopeful...because there is always hope and there is always a way out. Unfortunately, it may not always be easy (usually isn't <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />!). Women's shelters where I live offer a space to live to battered women and their children for up to three months at no cost (including meals!) until they can get back on their feet again. There are also lawyers who work with the women at these centres. They can help you get temporary support garnished from your husband's wages until regular support can be worked out. (Let's just see how he "enjoys" that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />) Have you tried contacting a battered woman's shelter in your area, hon?

Take care of yourself, jtmom. Take lots of deep, calming breaths and look deeply into your children's eyes and KNOW you're doing the right thing. You are doing your job as a mom. First and foremost, you MUST PROTECT them. And that is what you're doing. So give yourself a pat on the back for that. It's no small thing. Some women just don't have that courage, unfortunately.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers,

Natalie

Hi everyone. Thanks for the suggestions. I have been talking to the womans shelter for my area. They are booked. Amazing that so many people are in this mess. I am meeting with another Pastor today for counseling. The pastor that married us also told me to be tough as nails and he was dangerous. I was afraid he would insist on me staying. He referred me to a pastor that used to dealing with this stuff. So I see him today. I have been in limbo just trying to juggle soccer games, work, school, counselors etc.. and the drive 65 miles one way. I took a online loan so that will help us with gas money and I just pay it back when I get paid. I wanted to talk to the pastor first. I am so angry at that man for doing this too us.. he says its all my fault, I make him drink and I push him to hurt me and it was my choice to sleep in the boys room with the dresser.. and my fault from everything under the sun. I dont make him do anything.. I try to be quiet when he is in his moods, He locked me out of the bedroom said it was his house.. etc.. He ever had personal ads on a website called aff, he has to pay to get into it. Its nasty. I say thats cheating, he says its looking.. people looking for discreet relationships for sex? Why look, isnt that a form of cheating? And when your struggling.. to have money to pay for that? Even if it were free... I still would feel betrayed.
Anyway..my priority is my kids.. just one of the things I dwell on..
Thaks again everyone.. I know I have a long road ahead. I feel safer now my only fear is this man having visitation over the weekends etc and taking his anger out on my 4 year old. Can you imagine, the little guy is scared to death when I am there and I know that he will really be scared alone.
God bless you all for your thoughts and prayers.
LN

Does anyone in your area offer some public assistence with regard to getting your money away from OM, so that you have something to live on?? Seek out legal aide as well.

I am glad you are out. I am sorry that you have not found the assitance that you need yet. Don't give up. You really need to be away from him. He is like most abusers I have heard of. It is always someone elses fault. "I mean is it my fault that her face hit my fist?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Seriously, hang in there you are doing the correct thing.

God Bless,

JL

Jrntmsmom

Haven't heard from you in a few days.

How are things going?

Have you found some local support?

Hang in there. Let us know when you can.

Hi everyone. I have tried to reply but the messages are not being posted. I keep trying though.

Actually I cant seem to get anything right. My vehicle that I just bought in November, wouldnt start (65 miles away from work) had it towed to the dealer still there. They said it was 1 part, then got that in and now its the entire engine. They informed me it had been rolled. I have had numerous problems since I bought it but at this point its junk. So I am borrowing my moms only vehicle, spending a fortune in gas still. I did get good news that I could get leagal aide where I applied, but I need to move into the shelter there to get it. Bad news.. I cant because I wont have transportation.

Then if I do, I could loose custody of my daughter. I am in a no win situation. He is telling me he will not agree to a annulment or a divorce. also telling me that God is doing all these things to me because I wont forgive him and believe him. I have to bite my tongue on that one... coming from a man who only went into the church approx 8 times in his 47 years and keep telling me how God will punish me for not obeying. ??

I really can see how woman in these situations go back, its not because they want to, because they are forced too.
Im still fighting it, but its becoming a uphill, loosing battle.

LN