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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 207
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 207 |
Just Learning.....
Thank you! I definately need to work on my patience, never have been good in that area. The care and honestly part - I can't do more than I already am. I am totally committed to my M, my H, and my beautiful daughters.
It's a bit of a waiting game now....I'm fine with that I just wasn't sure if this "behavior" was normal or not.
Thanks.
"It's the simple things in life, like the kids at home and a loving wife, that you miss the most when you lose control. Everything that you love starts to disappear..."
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284 |
S&C,
If he is depressed or suffering from something like the shock syndrom, counseling will help. Exercise helps as well, so don't be just patient, be proactive in address this as if he is depressed or might become depressed. It will help both of you.
God Bless,
JL
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,204
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,204 |
My husband who rarely looked at porn, started watching ALOT of porn after d-day....early in recovery and tried to act in out in the bedroom too - wanted sex 10 times a day if he could..
I think it has alot to do with the images of his wife being with another man...and turning to porn let him think about other people having sex enough he could have sex with me..
Sadly though it didn't help him recovery and yall know what happened next (his affair)
Since recovery #2, I am happy to say there has been no porn watching.
He did tell me when he was beginning his single forums - before his EA, that sometimes watching porn was the only way he could get turned on to be with me, as he was so disgusted by me being with someone else...
He wasn't a porn watcher in the past either, except when we first met - we watched a few and then stopped...and NO, he never hid it from me, he really didn't watch it...
I often belive Porn was his self medication from my A, the same way my A was a self medication from events in my life.
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 207
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 207 |
I asked him, "are you headed for a rebound A"? He said, "no, no - you don't have to worry about that.
Could I blame him if he did? Look what I did?
If he did, he would NEVER tell me about it.
Patience, patience, patience.
"It's the simple things in life, like the kids at home and a loving wife, that you miss the most when you lose control. Everything that you love starts to disappear..."
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