Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
| Tax-deductible Donation | Site Tour | Meet Dr. Harley | Basic Concepts | Q&A Columns | Articles | Guidance Forum

Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Forums Calendar Active Threads
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3
Re: Why expose?
Aphelion #1643560 04/27/06 06:47 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 209
C
csj Offline
Member
csj
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 209
And, not to be too repetitive, but consider the other people involved here. The OW's husband (I am assuming here she is married) has a right to know what you know. Even if it is not yet physical, he has a right to protect his marriage. If nothing else, this is an inappropriate friendship that is interfering with your M. You should tell the other spouse, so that he can prevent it from damaging his M also.

BS (me) 34 FWH 32 Married 1997 DD, 4; DD, 2 PA 10/04-10/05 DDay 11/17/05 In recovery
Re: Why expose?
catgirl #1643561 04/27/06 08:08 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Texas
M
MelodyLane Offline
Member
MelodyLane
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Texas
Quote
He moved out to get away from me to see if our marriage can be saved or not. A trial separation.

catgirl, a marriage cannot be saved if you are not there. If he wanted to save the marriage, he would have stayed home. A seperation is only a "trial" for divorce, not marriage. Almost without fail, when the WS says they want to move out to get "space" it means they want to move out to pursue their affair unimpeded.

Have you staked out his apartment to see who is coming there? You will probably see the OW if you do. Your best hope of saving your marriage is to spy on him to find out what he is doing and then expose him. Exposure is a key element of Plan A that can't be overlooked.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101
Re: Why expose?
MelodyLane #1643562 04/27/06 08:16 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
C
catgirl
Offline
Member
catgirl
Member
C Offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 823
I followed him once. Was where he said he was going.

Haven't gone to his place. His schedule changes with work and I don't now when he will be home. Don't really have anyone to leave the kids with while I spy.

Should I not expose unitl I have more evidence? All I have are phone records.
Re: Why expose?
catgirl #1643563 04/27/06 08:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297
K
KiwiJ Offline
Member
KiwiJ
Member
K Offline
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297
catgirl, I am the FWW. I suggested separating as well "to get my head together." What I meant was "to see if the OM wants me."

I'll raise the $10 to $20 that this a PA and has been for quite a long time.

EXPOSE.
Re: Why expose?
catgirl #1643564 04/28/06 08:26 AM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Texas
M
MelodyLane Offline
Member
MelodyLane
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Texas
Quote
I followed him once. Was where he said he was going.

Haven't gone to his place. His schedule changes with work and I don't now when he will be home. Don't really have anyone to leave the kids with while I spy.

Should I not expose unitl I have more evidence? All I have are phone records.

I would FIND someone to watch the kids while you spy on him or have someone else stake out his apartment.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 692 guests, and 89 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
DGTian120, MigelGrossy, Jerry Watson, Toothsome, IO Games
72,041 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by still seeking - 08/09/25 01:31 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,042
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Forum Rules · Mark All Read Contact Us · Forum Help · Marriage Builders
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Feedback | Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy | Contact Us | Site Map | Account
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0