Forgive me for asking, but why did you have an A with such a person?
At some level you must have known this about him from the very beginning. Did you ignore it? Suppress it?
I swear, I will never understand the people some people have A's with. Is there any understanding to be had?
I'm happy to answer your question, Aphelion...
It took a while for me to catch on to OM. I thought he was the greatest. When we first started seeing each other, he told me, "I've finally met someone who
gets it like me" (yeah, no kidding.) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> OM is highly intelligent (not very smart, but intelligent) and he felt we were of the same "intellectual ability." He even asked me if I used my smarts to manipulate people, because he did that quite often and quite well. I remember thinking, "Hmmmm...what a strange question!" It was my first red flag.
OM is very much like my brother, and I think that's why I was attracted to him. When I was growing up, I spent all my time with my brother. I could talk to him for hours about anything. I even thought he was my "soulmate." As we got older, he became mentally ill and was misdiagnosed and untreated for years. He was psychotic, both physically and verbally abusive, and I was devistated. He's on meds now, but is addicted to alchohol and has a very sad life. I miss my brother of my youth so very, very much.
OM was a very funny, intelligent charmer who had a great passion for life. He was like my "old" brother in so many ways. The old saying that you're sometimes attracted to people who resemble your family members, particularly those you have unfinished business with, is true for me.
My brother is currently a conflict-avoiding, drug addicted narcissist with very low self-esteem. So is OM.