Off the cuff comment: if you shield someone from the consequences of their choices, that individual will never learn the lesson they badly need to absorb. I suspect this applies to raising children, training puppies, and all sorts of other things...including infidelity.

Hey Mimi. I'm great! Thank you!

BTW, my son is 25 and independent. Be prepared for juvenile occasional relapses. LOL! They will always be our kids!

Susan:

Oh my, the occasional juvenile lapses! I guess we all have them...LOL..I'm working on my own INNER TEENAGER these days...

My 23 year old is BASICALLY independent..finished college..doing well in his job..living in another city although closeby...

The new thing..he is "IN LOVE"..."for real, though"...not the "player" kind of love that my YS knows and talks about...

I'm happy for him....

Good to hear from you, Susan...

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Oh Pep, I am sorry. How hard to be parents.

I probably never told anyone on this board this before, but I'll tell you Pep, because I know how important it is for a child of teenage years to feel the consequence of his actions.

When I was a teen (even though my dad was an alcoholic...he was a very loving, caring pop)...and I was into drugs, big time.

I ended up getting arrested when I was 15 as a runaway, because my dad grounded me and I flat out refused to go home.

Well juvey was full, so they had no choice but to me into an adult jail cell. My dad, when called that I had been picked up said "keep her".

So at the age of 15 I spent 4 days in an adult jail cell...and after that into a foster home for a year and a half or so.

My mom and dad loved me...more than life, yes they had their problems but they loved me...and were scared [censored] for me.

Well after a year and a half in a foster home, my grandma called me and said your mother misses you terribly, please ask her if you can go home.

So I did, because you see I missed my parents so much I could hardly breathe, but I was stubborn..until grandma called and then I melted.

So I went back home (17 was the age I think when it was finally all settled and done) never did drugs again and went back to being a straight A student...of course ten years later I ended up taking care of my dad...but I am glad I was able to and that he had taken such a strong stance on my drug use. He probably saved my life by letting me "feel the consequences of my actions"...I missed them so much, as your son will soon find out.

Pep, you are doing the right thing...please know that.