"I feel like I am here because she lied to me so much and I kept thinking it wasn't that bad. Now that I know the truth it was really worse then I thought. I think if I knew then what I know now I would have divorced her then. I know I would have. "- Do you think that she knew this and that is why she waited so long to tell you the whole truth???? Maybe she is still testing you to see how much you love her.

Ask her that for me would you??? Ask her why she has waited so long to tell you. If she didn't care about you do you think that she would tell you everything right away?

"As far as him loving you the question is does he love you more then he loves himself" good question. I think he used to but felt that I changed his world into something that he didn't want. He was wiling to sacrifice his life for me. But then I would 't wear the ring given at our anniversary because of the I could have bought two kayaks instead of this ring comment he made. Then I asked him at our ten year anniversary-
I want to know why you love me. I don't think he knew.

I think that this scared him into thinking she doesn't appreciate me. Why do I sacrifice everything to make her happy?

The only thing that doesn't ever make sense to me is that the first time her number came up on his phone was a week after him giving me a ring for our anniversary. There was no way that I could have worn it by then it wasn't sized. Mixed answers from him why he gave me the ring in the first place. He said because I wanted it, BUT I only wanted to hear that he loved me and would marry me again. I never got that and then he had an A, Now I am still the one fighting for our marriage-WHY please someone tell me why?? Why do I stay with someone who has not loved me, had an A, and is not sorry, and continues to make mean comments- like I wish we never met, I have never loved you, you forced me to have kids, I had kids to keep you busy so that you would leave me alone, I invited roommates so that I could have my own space. I should just give him what he wants if I truly love him right?

I think he wants to go, Maybe I should tell him to go....Maybe that is my problem, I am scared, butknow I would be okay. It is just that my whole picture perfect family has failed and I am having trouble coming to terms with it.

Well that picture is certainly broken now isn't it.

The whole OP thing is just a way for them to escape reality. Have their cake and eat it too. Of course the other person is better there are no fights no day to day grind that married people have to get through.

One time we were talking and the A came up. I said something about fighting and she said of course we didn't it was new we had nothing to fight about. When my FWW A was exposed she was staying with my family. She went down to his basement apartment and asked him to help her get out. He refused because my Family told him if he helped her he would get kicked out. He didn't help her. She called him and asked if he could get her stuff he said no again. I thought to myself I have never treated her like that. If I did I would hear about it for the rest of my life. She probably wouldn't talk to me for a good long time and trust me we would be fighting. Know what she did after this? Took him to dinner on my dime with my kids. Spent the next two weeks running around with him. No hard feelings. Still treated him better then she treats me.

So the reason I tell you this is that it is easy to overlook someones short comings if you want to. They just chose not to overlook ours and focus on them as a reason to justify their actions.

Hey

still feeling a bit confused and resentful! my husband said to my son yesterday as he held a magic trick box. I am a magician didn't you know?? Then when my son was busy with the trick, he said. "I made my happy family disappear." I keep getting mixed signals. I wonder if he is still coming out of a fog??? I think he is starting to realize that what he did was wrong. I am having these bad feelings that when he does want me again, I will not want him. It is almost like I want what I can't have, but when I get it, I loose interest. How pathetic!! I am just not sure I will be able to forgive him if he does grovel for what he has done and show me that he is deeply sorry for all that he has caused. And commit to me the way I expected when we married- no secrets, no pushing me away, and more expression of caring and understanding. I have been through so much over the past two years, some comfort and understanding could go a long way. Not to mention to have an affair because of all the stress our family has been under... as a way to escape what the rest of us have to endure everyday... and to now put even more stress on the rest of the family...without an apology is close to beng more than I can handle. The only thing getting me through is that he must have some serious depression and pain in side for him to do such a thing. I feel sorry for someone who would do this for that reason. Okay if there was a reason why this occured- you know something that I did- besides being the bearer of all the responsibility- then I could come to terms with this easier. I will continue working- maybe it wil come clear for what. I do love my children and know that they need their father- he is a great father!!...