Maybe our WH's will just keep chasing after changes trying to find the perfect combo that makes them happy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I am glad that he is not asking for a CS reduction, odd that he didn't bring up the job change if it would reduce his CS. Odd also, that he was "lying to save your feelings" about the PD job. My WH lied not to long ago about where he was going "to save my feelings". I don't get why they either act like they care, or care but just can't stop causing the big pain (and they worry about the little pains).

Maybe it'll mean that the relationship with OW will end that much sooner. With the hours and salary, I don't see her sticking around too long.

DD and I actually had a great weekend. Much better than I anticipated. STBXH had DD for 8 hours Saturday, so I had time to steam clean the carpet. Yuck. But it's done and looks a lot better, and I did it all by myself!

I was so excited that my friend from out of state came with her mom to spend the night with us last night. Her mom was driving her to the airport first thing this morning, and our city is closer to that than her hometown by about 4 hours. We had a great time... she treated us all to a nice dinner out last night, and we had a great breakfast together this morning. I was sad to see them leave.

I'm starting to get a little anxious, b/c I'm sure I'll be hearing from the lawyer again soon, hopefully tomorrow, to hear what he has to say about WH's 34-page settlement agreement draft. Yeesh.

Glad you had company for Mother's Day, and got your carpet done too. I always feel so much better when my home is nice.

Does the OW have any children?

Your mother's day sounds nice. Good job on the carpet!

A 34 page settlement offer? Wow, I can't get my WH to jot his plan down on a napkin, much less think out 34 pages.

[color:"purple"]Happy Mother's Day! [/color]

Hi SadMommy -

Hope you had a wonderful day!! Hello to you Believer and to you Jean! Happy Mother's Day!!

Kim

Believer, OW doesn't have kids. She does have a history of getting involved with men who have them b/c she wants to play mommy. That's partly why I'm so vehemently opposed to STBX exposing our DD to his mistress.

And DD is just adorable these days. She's learned how to give high 5's, and she requests her favorite song "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" by pointing her fingers together. Plus, she cheers "yay" when you finish singing the ABC song. Very cute.

She found out how to blow raspberries Saturday. In a bad way. While she was nursing. It was an accident, but I laughed, which was the wrong response. Now she thinks it's funny. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

That's such a cute age! I did lots of sign language to my boys. I put my hands out and made a coming motion with my fingers for picking them up. I did the "How big is (Name)?
Soooo big (stretching hands apart). They pick up on it very quickly.

I also kept lists of their first words. They are now 24 and 21, and still enjoy looking at the list. It's kind of interesting, my youngest son's first word was water, and now he surfs every single day.

Gosh, I hope OW doesn't get pregnant.

I would feel the same way about that!! No way and OW would play "Mommy" with my child.

That's a cute story!! Your DD sounds adorable!

Kim

Yep, I taught her how to beckon me with her hands out. Very cute. I like the idea of keeping the list of first words. DD's was "no, no, no!" After that, it was mama, then duh-dog (which actually means any animal).

I also hope she doesn't get pregnant. She HAS had a couple miscarriages since we've known her, though...

I take it she has been with lots of men. Does your husband know that?

Yep. He knows all that. She's kind of a high drama person who talks about EVERYTHING. Who knows... not be graphic, but maybe her experience is why he likes her? She's my opposite. He was my first and only as far as SF is concerned.

Sadmommy, I forget, did you ever go to plan B or just fast forward to plan D? It seems silly for me to think of plan Bing now. But maybe I am in the right spot for an unmanipulative plan B. Just me and my growing disgust for WH.

So did you plan B? Any regrets one way or the other? Just curious.

And how is ole chunky thighs DD?

Hi, Jean. I never did an official plan B with a letter, mostly b/c there was no one around who could be the intermediary. With DD being so young, WH is seeing her 3x a week for a couple hours at a stretch. I did however restrict my communication with WH to matters only relating to DD.

I wish I would have had more time to do Plan A then Plan B. But WH was on a fast track. The only reason I filed when I did (just 2 months after he left) is b/c he threatened me with it, and I had to do what I could to make sure DD and I had a fighting chance.

I guess it's just as well, though, b/c the more I learn about him, the less I miss him.

((sadmommy))

I know about that fast track! But all in all, I think people like us are a little lucky in the infidelity scale. It seems that our WH's have never fence sat or cake ate or anything thing else. They said "I'm outta here, deal with it".

Curious again, pre A, was your H always a "this is how its gonna be" guy, or did he have a wishy washy component? My H was always "my way or the highway", so I really shouldn't be surprised by anything he has done.

Hi SadMommy,
Wow you've had a crazy year... how much longer til things with the D should be final?

I think your counselor is right on track with the assault vs. the sexomnia, that all sounded really odd when I first read your post about it... how are you dealing with looking at it that way?

Just wanted to pop in & say hi, and that you continue to be in my prayers.

MSA

Gosh, Jean... that's one of looking at it that I haven't thought of before. Lucky there was no sitting on the fence or cake eating? Let me ponder that a little bit.

Hi, MSA... thanks for dropping by. Hopefully we'll be wrapped up in the next couple weeks or so. We've had mediation, the settlement agreement is drafted. I just got it yesterday and made some notes... just a few things that need to be added/changed. I'm waiting for my attorney to call me back.

As far as the sexual assault/sexomnia.... To be honest, I pushed it out of my mind b/c I didn't want to think about it, and b/c of the shock of STBX going back to the college police department!

I talked about it very, very briefly in IC today. I just feel so... icky about it. And in some weird way, I'm actually relieved b/c now I know that's NOT normal, that married people don't do that. That, one day, when I find the right guy, maybe we wont' have the same issues that WH and I apparently had.

Do you like your bandaid pulled off sloooowly or are you just a rip it off person?

Yeah, it stinks having the rug pulled out from under us. My WH got busted, lost his mind and then left three weeks later. he has not looked back since. And everytime he is decent to me, it feels like he found a little piece of adhesive stuck to a hair and he pulls it off. I really wish he would have just left and maintained a complete [censored] position. Yeah, that's the only thing my WH has been wishy washy on, whether to treat me as a human being, or just a gnat he must swat away.

I am grateful I only had three weeks of snooping and being suspicious. I can't imagine living with someone who is lying about the continued affair. Or the roller coaster of, I want to come home, I can't come home, OW is so nice, OW is so mean....

My WH made is very clear from day one that OW was a goddess that must be protected at all cost and I was just someone he was killing time with until his true love showed up. And his wishy washiness about whether I am subhuman or not seems to depend on how long it has been since he spoke to his lawyer. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hmm.. I guess I'm extra lucky then, b/c I didn't have a chance to be suspicious. He just up and left, and I didn't put two and two together until that night. By then, he had already left the marriage. Since then, it's all coming together, all the little nagging things I let slip by b/c I thought everything was OK. When you add it up, what we had was not a functional marriage at all. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Met with my lawyer this afternoon to go over the settlement agreement. Hopefully we'll be done very soon!!