et al,

""I am so disappointed in you.""

Why don't we all say "We are disappointed FOR you" or "We are disappointed WITH you"

We all are human.

k

Jen,

I am hoping the reason you haved not replied to us yet, is because you are having a radically honest conversation with Rob right now. I am crossing my fingers that I am right.

P.S. What is the meaning behind your thread name?????

Jen is sleeping, that is why she hasn't been replying, she will awake soon and she will magically be a day ahead of us. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Because...I am disappointed in her choices and her actions. I'm not disappointed FOR anything other than that.

I love Jen....she'd better farging know that after all we've been through together....and if ANYONE knows that WE are all human, it's me. I'd give a kidney to her, cut off my left big toe, and maybe sell one of the kids (MAYBE....kidding.....sortof....okay.........I'M KIDDING) if she needed kidneys, toes or money.

But "we are all human" doesn't cut it in this instance...and you know what? She'd be the FIRST one to tell ME so if the roles were reversed (maybe the 2nd if Faith got to me because of the time dif.).

This person HURT Jen...and is HURTING HER AGAIN...and she ALLOWED IT....and we love her too, too much to allow her to allow this codswallop in her life again.

Period.

Exclamation point!

- Kimmy

What this and other responses seem to be suggesting (my opinion ONLY) is that Jen's feelings being hurt are somehow more important than the fact that she BETRAYED her H AGAIN. That is turned out to be for a man who hurt her is sad, yes, but her pain does not shadow her H's.

I'm sorry... I just feel so dammed sorry for her H. I know she's the one writing, and she's your friend... but what about her H?

still lovin ya jen....and also waiting patiently for the "why?"....and ya KNOW how patient i am??????

Hi Jen,

My prayers and positive pagan thoughts are coming your way in full force.

We have all stumbled in our recoveries; BS, WS all of us. Please understand and believe that all of your MB friends are in your corner, supporting you and Rob.

I've got spuds any way you want them on the way to you. I will even toss in some nice fluffy (and soft) hash browns for you guys if you need some amunition for a food fight.

You have been and still are and always will be the #1 in my book. I am convinced that EL and I would have parted ways if it was not for your words of encouragment to both of us.

I pray that you and your husband will have the tools you need placed at hand to get through this rough time.

Remember that we are with you.

I just don't think its very nice to start another thread
on the recovery board about her. Why cant they say it over here?






.

You are exactly right.

I am hurt and angry and sad....and it will never compare to what KJ's dh will feel....

But she needs to tell him. Because the knife gets bigger with each passing moment.

- Kimmy

Well, no word from KiwiJ. I hope that Rob will come back and post. I think we could help support him through this.

Jen -

I just ran across this thread. I am so sorry to hear this. I will add you and your husband to my prayers.

Jen,

A little bird told me about your thread...

I know you can't process all the excellent posts on this thread yet but I just want to say that you are a kind person, so for you to do a hurtful thing like this says only one thing, at least to me...

You've got some more inner work to do. When we don't get the lesson last time around, it comes right back around again to tell us what we didn't hear before.

Because you are not a hurtful person, and certainly not stupid there is clearly something going on inside of you that needs to be addressed. Perhaps poor self-esteem, a need for drama, a fear of things going too well...I don't know but deep inside you, you do.

And I bet Rob who knows and loves you best, might be able to help you pinpoint why you allowed this to happen...and from there what you can do to heal this part of you, which has not yet been healed (fixed, grown whatever).

They say God (or your soul, or you psyche if you are not religious) will knock on your hood until you hear...and do something about it.

Rob knows and loves you best (aside from the fact that he has a right to know this) and he should be the one you are talking to, as well as your friends...but him first.

This doesn't mean you are a bad person Jen, just that you are a person with a little work to do yet. Just like the rest of us, learning lessons doesn't I believe ever end but sometimes it just takes a return trip to really listen and do what you need to do, so it doesn't ever come back 'round again...you can get a different one next time.

Get clear on why this happened Jen, because that is where the answer is, and possibly where Rob can find hope again.

{{{{{{{Weaver}}}}}} and everyone else who has managed to hate the sin but not the sinner. Weaver, your post rang with truth.

Some of you are very wonderful people. I can only thank you for still caring for me and Rob.

I know no one will believe me but I was completely over the OM. I was SO RELIEVED to be over the OM. I was so relieved to be happy with Rob.

If I had told Rob that I had seen the OM in the grocery store everything would have been fine. I couldn't believe that I felt nothing for the OM. It felt so good to feel nothing.

When I knew he was actively pursuing me, that's when my head started to get turned.

I know the one thing everyone is having the most trouble with is "how could I do this to Rob again."

I am wondering that myself and wondering what it means for the success or continuation of my marriage. That has nothing to do with the OM and everything to do with how I really feel, really deep down about Rob if I am totally honest.

have you talked 2 Rob?

Not yet, but I think the swollen eyes and dark rings under my eyes, and not being able to sleep will make it impossible not to.

There is no way I will keep this from him.

I am TERRIFIED to tell him, absolutely TERRIFIED of the consequences for him, my family and me.

And before anyone jumps on me, YES I KNOW I WAS THE CAUSE OF THIS.

Which is what, hon?

Jen,

You said
I agree and it is also about how you see yourself and what YOU think you need out of life.

There is plenty to think about Jen, so hang in there and do some very very serious thinking. You do owe Rob honesty in this matter.

God Bless,

JL

PS: Have you considered seeing a counselor?

Which is that I am so bound to him that we are almost one person and I have lost track of how I really, really feel.

JL, I think it's time to see my wonderful counsellor, Peggy, again.

My thread title says it all you know.

I really didn't think I would be facing any of this again in my lifetime.

Except....... that deep down I still have reservations about giving myself totally to Rob.

A very dear MB friend suggested that was because I have been and always will be waiting for the OM.