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Hi Cha-Cha!
Sounds like you are doing great mentally right now for a great Plan B. Best of luck!!
Welcome to the Plan B Club.
BTW, have you thought about not allowing WH access into the house??
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Thanks Pep...I can DO that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Welcome to the Plan B Club.
BTW, have you thought about not allowing WH access into the house?? Thanks Kim...I've waited a long time for the "B Club". I added a lock to the door...this time DD invited him in to see her school paper...she thought I was taking a nap, I thought he left.
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,200
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Good Deal!! I just wanted to check! I am kind of jumping in here on your story midstream......
Thanks for your support on my post!
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 1,978
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Kim...I think you've been doing an amazing plan B. And ALL the crow Lemonman has eaten <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />. This latest attempt by your WH...reminds me of how smart chickens are. You know they peck a certain button to get their chicken feed reward. When that button stops working they peck another but occassional go back and peck the old one. He is searching for chicken feed...the refi button stopped working...so now he chooses DS button...but may try that refi button again. Its all about the chicken feed. Its easier watching somebody else's chicken. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> lol! Thats why its good to get the other perspective. (OMG I must be tired...talking about crows & chickens...I must have a bird brain...I quack myself up!!!)
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Posts: 2,200
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Very good analogy! I wonder how my WH would feel if he knew he was being compared to a chicken?? I'll be keeping an eye on your Plan B! Hey, what time do ducks get up? At the quack of dawn!! (you started it!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978
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lol Time for this night owl to turn in...you know the early bird gets the worm! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Posts: 15,310
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I'm just thankful I didn't have my nightie on...I mean I had regular clothes on. I'm sorry that you didn't have your NIGHTIE on..Don't you know that the man needs to suffer over what he is losing.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Ok...how do I handle this?
I just got a call from my Mom. My Dad was at my house letting my dog out and fiddling w/ the new lock he installed. He looked up and there is my WH. In the middle of the day I'm at work...he is suppose to be at work...the kids are in school... he works and is staying about 1 hour away...so he wasn't just in the neighborhood. He walked in the house went in the living room for about 5 seconds and left. Making sure to rev his engine (mustang MLC car) as he left.
I do not want to be baited into contacting him to find out WTF he was doing there. Should I contact SIL and have her relay that if he wants something from the house I'll pack it up and put it in the garage?
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Posts: 35,996
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Very good analogy! I wonder how my WH would feel if he knew he was being compared to a chicken?? I'll be keeping an eye on your Plan B! Hey, what time do ducks get up? At the quack of dawn!! (you started it!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Kim you 2 [color:"red"]chicks [/color] are really [color:"red"] bird-brains [/color]
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New Locks..
Just ignore..
GETTING HIS HOME FIX...
Part of the WS Script...
Like I said before, too bad you didn't have on the nightie!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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plan B sucks for your H
as you can see
make it tighter
install a security alarm system
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I just got an email from WH.
He asked me out on a date. Using the same words he used when he asked me out on our first date. I'm on the verge of tears....I'm thinking I should ignore it. I don't want to blow this.
He hasn't wanted to go anywhere alone w/ me in 2 years.
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Posts: 15,310
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Take a deep breath. I think you are going to be a MB Success story..really...but you are correct..you need to play this right.
It's OK to E-Mail him back but say simply: I would LOVE to go on a date with you once you have done what I asked in the letter that I sent to you. Contact me as soon as that has been accomplished.
I think you need to respond but refer him back to the PLAN B LETTER.
Keep your response SIMPLE.
Last edited by mimi1254; 05/31/06 01:26 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I was thinking of responding with:
Sorry I'm married I don't casually date date. (Sounds kind of witchy and I want to casually go out with him)
or
I would love to go out with you but I need to know that you are not dating anyone else....duh
or
This is your wife...are you sure you want to spend time w/ME?...probably DJ too sarcastic
I think yours is probably better:
I would LOVE to go on a date with you once you have done what I asked in the letter that I gave to you. Contact me as soon as that has been accomplished.
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Posts: 2,553
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I like the sarcastic ones -- but then, I'm a sarcastic little biddy.
Mimi's is best.
"Virtue -- even attempted virtue -- brings light; indulgence brings fog." -- C.S. Lewis
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This is from my plan B letter To join me there can be no contact of any kind with OW...ever .I need you to commit to make me, our marriage and our family a priority. Until that time I cannot have contact with you. I don't mention a NC letter..in the past we have talked about it and he thought it was stupid. I think I should ask for the NC letter again before I consent to go out with him.
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Posts: 15,310
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Talking about the NC LETTER can wait. Maybe just resend what you have posted here along with the other statement that I suggested....
When my FWH started pursuing me towards the end of his A, Steve Harley told me to KEEP IT SIMPLE and REPEAT to him: "GET RID OF THE OTHER WOMAN"....without going into specifics with him early on..because before there is a NC LETTER your WH has to have a PLAN to END the AFFAIR...
Last edited by mimi1254; 05/31/06 02:47 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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What about just your statement? I like the idea of him having to go back and read the whole letter...I think it was a good letter. Ok here is the final draft. Changes are bold.
M.
These are dark and confusing times we are going through. We are on a path that I never imagined we would take. Over the years our paths have strayed. I look back at where we came from and I can see some of the signs we missed along the way.
I am so sorry that I took your love for granted. I didn't take the time to show you how much I appreciated you. I wish I had really listened to what you were trying to tell me and that I made myself understood. We didn't make our marriage a priority, which allowed you to bond to OW.
Now we need to choose a new direction, which is why we decided to separate, to take the time and think about what we really want. The path I choose is one of forgiveness , love, compassion, discovery and laughter. I would like you to join me on this path. I’m sure we will have challenges along the way but, I believe with our combined strengths we can reach new heights.
To join me there can be no contact of any kind with OW...ever .I need you to commit to make me, our marriage and our family a priority. Until that time I cannot have contact with you.
You can email me w/ financial concerns and scheduling time w/ the kids. You and the kids can communicate freely. I have attached a copy of our separation agreement and the budget. Any other issues you can contact me through Sandy.
I know that you do not intend to hurt me but our interactions do just that. My feelings for you run deep, I want you to be my husband anything less then that tears a piece of my heart. This separation is protecting my love for you in hope that you will choose the same path to continue our journey together.
Please respect my wishes and know that I want only good things for us .
I love you.
K
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978
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Posts: 1,978 |
mimi, I actually think the A is over and has been for a while I think there may be some lingering email contact. When my FWH started pursuing me towards the end of his A, Steve Harley told me to KEEP IT SIMPLE and REPEAT to him: "GET RID OF THE OTHER WOMAN"....without going into specifics with him early on..because before there is a NC LETTER your WH has to have a PLAN to END the AFFAIR...
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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