Thunderstorm, but FH is the one who was upset about the haircut, as if the father had no right. Yet she went and picked out a school without consulting him. Can't have it both ways.
The XMM has stated that if they don't want him to bother them, then adopt Grace and stop Child Support. How much you want to bet he gets bolder and goes for more time. All he has to do is say he wants sole custody and suddenly child welfare is all over the place. Interviewing here and there. Checking this and that. Suddenly it will be FH and Pops under the microscope. Are they in a position to handle that kind of scrutiny? If she is still in a depressed state, this could really harm them as a family.
I say adopt Grace with love or learn to live with the XMM and his wife as co-parents. If that woman is cutting hair and talking pierced ears, things are going to grow from there. But, one can't have it both ways. No laywer in his right mind would tell some man to sign off his parental rights, but still pay. I think it will show them how much you hate him in her life, but that you want the money. It will paint FH/Pops in a bad light. As if child support is more important then anything.
By what I understand this is NOT the first time the xmm has said this though. In ways I agree with you, but in this istance I agree that the xmm should give a lump sum under the circumstances.
Apprently the wife does things out of being mad at fh with the oc. That right there is more wrong than any other topic in this thread.
As a mother no one cuts my girls hair. STBXH knows this and won't even attempt it. He has gone with me once to have it trimmed, but he knows better with the hair. It maynot be a huge deal to a man but a woman........WHOA!
I do think the father has some rights regarding the school(whatever that was about), but in the long run who has this child 90% of the time? FH. The final decission should be her's and unless he's willing to drop off and pick up then he should not be upset over her decission regarding the school and know she did it in the oc's best interest and what was best for them to pick up and drop off. When I looked for daycare for my twins I first looked at the reputation of the daycare center, and then how easy it was to drop off and pick up from home to work. I was the one doing it 98% of the time so it was my decission.
I feel because he has made the threat of not being her father anymore and can't work with fh then why not ask for a lump sum. He is giving up his rights to convienance himself and his family. Not because it's the best thing for Grace. I'm sure she loves them and it will be an adjustment on her and at her age I don't see her forgetting them soon (unless she is like my mother and block things easy).
Pops has a lot frecking kids to raise. I don't blame him for this. I see his point UNDER the circumstances.
I also don't feel it's always what fh/pops wants and not them. Pops has mentioned time and time again in the past how they have had to talk to the xmm about this and that.
So, the question is...............if the xmm turns down your offer where do you go from there and what will you do? Is there any possible way to make this work and have the people involved in this "get Past it"? So all the adults can be proactive and do what is best for Grace?
