Sorry that didn't pan out, Joe. How about getting the license plate information (or the VIN) from OM's car and checking to see if registration information for your county is available on line? I don't know where you live but many local governments are on line now. Do you have a friend (or a friend of a friend of a friend) who is a cop? They can get that information quickly and easily.

Maybe the best thing to do is turn the information gathering over to a PI? I know they're expensive but some of them specialize in getting precisely the information you need. I have no idea where you live; costs for a PI vary widely from urban to rural areas and among different parts of the country but your marriage is worth far more than a PI costs. Consider it, okay?

Got it thanks for the info.
I think I could get OM'S info!

and by the way I talked to WW this morning about the kids
and OM and she promised not to let him be arround them anymore. only time will tell.

Yesterday befor she went to bed I told her that I miss
trusting her, she replied you will never do, not after what happened.
I told her you always assume my reaction this is what got us here in the first place, you always thought I was going to leave you.
this morning when I talked to her i told her that I still care for her, I still want her back,and she is worth fighting for.

and this was the truth.

should I tell her she is pushing the kids away or this is text book behavior?

Joe, I don't think it's wrong to tell her you miss what you once had. Technically, in Plan A, you don't talk much "relationship" but unless she shows anger at the topic, I don't think you're doing any harm and it may well do some good. I think the same thing applies. Here's a good thread that talks about similar things to do in Plan A.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...=&PHPSESSID


It IS textbook behavior to push the kids away, btw. There are threads out here written by betrayed spouses whose wayward ones have totally abandoned their children in order to be with the OP. It’s tragic, but a responsibility to nurture children interferes with Fantasy Land and they will be shunted aside in favor of the dream. Tragic, but true.

I'm glad you got that promise from her to not allow the OM to be around your children, but treat it with skepticism. Remember the rule of thumb: if an alien’s mouth is moving, it’s lying. Your wife is most assuredly an alien right now. She doesn’t think or feel as a human being does because if she did, she’d see the monstrous cruelty she’s perpetuating and the incredible pain she’s causing the marriage, you, and your children. Trust, but verify…everything.

Stay active, Joe. I hope you can get OM’s info from your colleague. Once you have that, you have a road leading to OMW. Hang in there, pardner.