If you are asking if I make decisions based more on feelings, I would say no. I think most people who know me would agree with that. Most people think I am pretty cold hearted and unemotional.

My main problem is my obsessive thinking.

I am a very feeling person, but not many people know that. And I don't think I make big decisions based on feelings, usually. For example, when deciding whether or not to leave my marriage, I had talked to everyone in our family, including my H. Then I started therapy to make sure I was sane enough to make a major decision, and then I spoke to a pastor to get spiritual clearance.

Another example of my unemotional thinking (and this one makes H crazy because it shows how "unfeeling" I am). When I decided to start being sexually active as a teenager, I went to planned parenthood (as a virgin), took my BC pills for the recommended 30 days and THEN let myself enjoy my first experience without the dread of unwanted pregnancy. My H thinks that is terribly unromantic and indicative of how cold I am.

Thanks, Jean...I have read your words as a very emotional person...looking for evidence from feelings...nothing close to unfeeling or cold-hearted.

Then again, I haven't met anyone who was that way in my lifetime.

I get the obsessive thinking from your post...you went from one sentence in you into others...mostly WH. I get that. I remember it really well.

Would you say that it's been critical to you to live your life the right way...the affair being the aberration?

LA

Hee hee, you are asking good questions. I do not live my life very normally, I am the oddball in most of my social circles. BUT, it is important to me that MY way look RIGHT. So, I do everything weird but I need people to approve of my choices because the outcome is good.

I think that has been one of the most frustrating aspects of WH's affair and aftermath. I have never had my life so screwed up when I couldn't pinpoint where in the road I had screwed up.

Hey LA,
I just noticed your post on the "paging LA" thread. Thanks so much for the feedback. i am enjoying this dialogue. Can we move it to the Paging thread if you don't mind?

Yes! Thank you.

LA