Soinshock, one advantage that you have going in is that you KNOW what you are getting. At least when this happens AGAIN you will not be surprised and won't be able to complain.

You know going in how she responds when she is "under pressure" and/or DRUNK. Most of the folks here did not know this going in, and many would have decision to RUN had they known this in advance.

But you have made a fully informed choice to enter such a marriage, knowing full well what you are facing. With that, I would say you are at an advantage because you were given the opportunity to make a CHOICE. I wish you the best with your choice.

I am sorry that the rest of us could not tell you what you wanted to hear, but at least you found one cheerleader, so it wasn't a total loss! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

What you are saying here is that she gets drunk and falls into bed with men....at company functions when they pressure her enough. OUCH! Being in corporate America I can tell you that cannot bode well for her career. And then her excuse for not telling you about it that she is "afraid." Afraid to face the consequences, that is. Does she have a drinking problem in addition to cowardice? How bad is her drinking?

Mr. Goodstuff's approach seems more logical to you because it agrees with what you want to do. There is nothing more "logical" about his approach than the others.

Well, you made your bed, you will have to sleep in it.

Good luck!

What the heck do you need my friend? All the guages are reading red on this one.

First if you are not married it doesn't mean what you have is less meaningful what it means is you have no legal ties to bind you. It is alot easier to walk away now then when you say I Do.

Second her drinking too much. I have to say that is one of the biggest crocks in the world. Alcohol does not force your legs open last time I checked.

I have said this here before but sometimes people drink so they can have an excuse for their behavior later. What I mean is maybe she wanted it, knew it was wrong then drank until her "inhibitions" dissapeared. I had a friend in high school that used to do this. He did not have a drinking problem, he probably drank less then all of us. But on a night he wanted to fool around with a not so disirable girl he got drunk, did it, then used it as an excuse for his behavior. I was drunk I didn't know what I was doing.

Now if you chose to start off a longterm committed relationship with this already happening more power too you.
If you can live with the fact that stress+alcohol=cheating and you will need to worry about that for the rest of your life.

You should run a poll and see how many people would run from this situation. If my FWW did this to me she would have never had the chance to be an FWW because she would have never been my W.

Heck depending on the age of the people involved and if they don't have kids it is advised just to move on even if you are married.

Hey SIS,
I just came across your post and I can identify with you.
In a nut shell my relationship has been going on for 17 years. We never married.

We have lived together in a house we both own for the last 13 years.

Many on this site don't consider that a marriage and since we have no children is is easy to say walk away. I have always felt married even with out that piece of paper.

Two months ago he met a girl who is the daughter of a family he works for. She was here on vacation. After she left they continued their affair by talking on the phone for HOURS everyday.

He has been out of the house for 1 month now supposedly visiting family but I know he is ith her up north.

I won't even go into the details of what I have discovered since he has been gone.

Two very wise posters here (love ya mr & mrs W)!!
questioned me about why we hadn't ever made that commitment to each other. That is is more than just a piece of paper.
Are you holding on and wanting to proceed with this marriage just because you have invested so much time?

Believe me if I knew 10 years ago what I know now.......
Who knows maybe I would be married to someone who actually gave a sh** about me and my feelings.

Just a thought.
Blindsided