remember in plan B letters...DO NOT ADMIT TO BEING A LESS THAN GOOD WIFEY..why?

my xh actually tried to give the points in plan B letter (never gave letter...just hid it away actually) to his lawyer to say that "this is why I did what I did" and tried to counteract some of my points in my legal case by saying I was a deficient wife "not doing such and such" things that I said I needed to IMPROVE upon in my plan B letter...so watch out...stuff could bite you if you have a desperate and reaching WS.

Good for you. Plan B time. It is a plan. Work it well. Do it correctly

DO NOT FILE FOR DIVORCE until you've given it a bit of time. They say up to 2 years...but your heart will tell you along with your mind what the best duration is. But hold out as long as possible and let the affairees implode upon themselves. They have a house of cards built upon a foundation of lies now hon. It is a matter of not if it will fall...BUT WHEN.

And is that time acceptable to you? Will it happen within YOUR acceptable plan B timeframe?

You're really close to hitting zero on love bank and that's why I am glad you're going 2 b.

And you should make sure in plan B letter that your REQUIREMENTS FOR RECONCILIATION (your boundaries) are included...what you will want before he comes home. It's not handing them over to the OP...it's handing them over to the end of their affair. My xh separated from the OW last summer...AFTER ONE YEAR OF AFFAIR MARRIAGE AND LESS THAN TWO YEARS AFTER THE DIVORCE...was right along in the timeline. But alas, he didn't divorce, as he foggily justified that "there are two kids affected by divorce/separation now...his son with me...OUR child...and the oc from his affair and subsequent affair marriage). He actually tried to ask me out last summer...I declined as I don't date married men. That part had to be hard for him to swallow...b/c his WIFEY NOW DID...she sure did.

protect your heart and what's left inside it. Keep eyes and ears open. Do not react with emotion, act with only wisdom. Don't jump to do anything rash. Work plan B and work it dilligently. Find outlets/friends/activities to divert your focus from the WS onto happier pursuits while this is happening. remember...it's attractive to NOT be needy! And if/when applicable (you can start today) tossing in 180 stuff. drives a WS mad. How dare a BS think they can get a life or even dream of moving on? They MUST WHINE AND BEG AND GROVEL AT MY WS FEET...how dare they be happy! What is wrong with them???