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I'm on an AD and an anti anxiety pill. They seem to work sometimes, but lately I'm just a bundle of nerves.
As I said I just want the pain to go away. I can't take living in this ****** anymore.
Guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself and feeling very rejected.
Sorry.
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That is perfectly understandable. Could you maybe do some activities that you enjoy? Hobbies? Something to relieve you at least temporarily of your pain.
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I'be been exercising at a gym, but even when I'm there I think about the situation constantly. Had to leave a piece of equipment the other day because I started to cry.
It's all I think of is his infidelity...how could he do this to us, the kids. We didn't have the greatest M, but an affair is not the answer. I guess he felt differently.
What shame I have to feel now that my H had an affair. What will people say behind my back, what will the kids think when people judge them about their father?
He's ruined our lives for his selfishness. And I hate him for that.
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You are correct; the affair is not the answer. He made bad choices and unfortunately those bad choices are hurting you and your children.
And it was selfish act, as it continues to be.
Remember, it is a kind of temporary insanity, a fog, an alien abduction.
It's not you and it's not your fault that he had an affair.
Try to keep that in mind.
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I do keep that in mind most of the time. I just honestly don't think that he wants this A to end and I think that he will be with her forever. Maybe I'm too pessimistic, but thar's how I see it.
I know they say M from A isn't too common, but they seem pretty serious. I think they are just waiting for OW D to finalize. Then he'll take action. Don't think he has the $$ now. Maybe he has something in the works that I don't know about.
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Everything you say is possible, which is why you should mentally prepare yourself for the worst case scenario of you losing him permanently.
But all the statistics are on your side. Affairs rarely result in marriage between the affair partners. Most marriages don't end as a result of affairs, and most affairs don't last more than six months or so from the time they are exposed to family and friends.
There's hope.
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Thanks Hiker,
I hope that eveyday, that the A crumbles, but they just went out to dinner the other day, a place he and I loved to go. Does he have no shame? What if our kids saw him there with her?
Just stab me in the heart.
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He has no shame. He is in the fog and won't emerge until the affair starts to crumble.
That may be a while.
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Cat,
I have been reading your thread and I understand all of w hat you are feeling and saying. Been there, done that.
Your WH is acting just as mine does. They are out and about like a couple wit no worries over who see's them. At first it killed me just like its doing to you now. but neieve me Cat the pain does ease up and you will make it. Its hard I am not going to say it isn't but as time goes on it does get easier.
The one thing I keep telling myself is that one day this will all come around and bite him in the butt big time.... Keep taking care of you and your children and make life good... Time is on your side and like i have been told the biggest problem he will have once his A explodes is will Cat still want him.... Take Care and keep your chin up ....
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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The thing I believe will never happen though is the A won't explode and they'll live happily ever after and he left a W and family miserable with no fault of thier own. My kids lives will be turned upside down cuz of him, while he lives happily, they will be in counseling!
Sorry for being so down. Today is a pity party day I guess.
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Cat,
Chances are he isn't really living as happily as it might appear. Most wandering spouses suffer bouts of depression too, and when the affair does end he will likely be miserable for a while.
Happily ever after doesn't often come with the territory between the cheaters.
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He told me that I'd better get used to him living in his own place. So I took that as he's very happy living without us and living with her.
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Being around you and the kids is a constant reminder of who he has injured with his behavior, it brings to the forefront any guilt he might have about the affair.
It's easier for him to be away, but make no mistake, life is not all roses for him and eventually things will go sour.
I am a firm believer that people who commit grievous injuries like this on someone eventually pay for it in some way or another.
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Hi guys, I am back after IC.
Boy am I gonna hold on to the saying what goes around comes around.
Blind
BS (me) 36
WS 36
no kids
together 17 yrs
not married
D day 4/1/06
He was out of the house 5/10-6/5
NC as of 7/2/06
my story
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I'm a firm believer in that little phase also! I've seen it happen!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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I just wish I knew when......
I know that sounds revengeful but hey who cares right now I am in He is gonna pay for this mode.
Blind
BS (me) 36
WS 36
no kids
together 17 yrs
not married
D day 4/1/06
He was out of the house 5/10-6/5
NC as of 7/2/06
my story
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I know I would like to do all kinds of things to OW and I even thought about doing things to WH. I completely understand! I know it's just the anger talking!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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that is yet another reason I love this site. It keeps all of the destructive site online!
Blind
BS (me) 36
WS 36
no kids
together 17 yrs
not married
D day 4/1/06
He was out of the house 5/10-6/5
NC as of 7/2/06
my story
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